Hubby wants to give our child dairy

[Dayquasar]

I have been eating plant based for almost a year and a half now and my husband eats SAD he respects my choices completly and loves me no matter what. We do not have children yet and have been discussing things so we can be prepared for when we do have them. He believes if we don't feed our child dairy and meat they will become intollorant and later on if they decide they don't want to eat plant based they won't have a choice and will not be able to consume dairy since they were not exposed to it as a child. I've already compromised with giving them small amounts of meat but I find it really hard to agree with giving them dairy since it is so harmful. He said he would give them a glass of milk a day, I just don't know if I can knowingly give my child something I know is so bad for them, any advise on how to compromise on this? He is aware of all the bad things but ultimately wants our child to be able to make there own choices when they are old enough, I understand where he is comming from but I just don't want a sick child from eating dairy.

[KittyMcKnitty]

I would have him watch Dr. Bernard's videos on dairy.

I don't think there's any data that show that vegan kids grow up with the inability to tolerate meat and dairy, so they could still make their own choices later. Respectfully, this is kind of an odd logic anyway. Does he plan to let them start drinking one beer a day so that they can better tolerate alcohol later in life?

[jamietwo]

I wouldn't rush into having children with the man! Compromise is well and good, but if you have such different beliefs on what is healthy for your children and your husband doesn't respect your beliefs (his insisting on feeding your children meat and dairy is not respecting your beliefs), that's a pretty big stumbling block.

[Dayquasar]

I wouldn't rush into having children with the man! Compromise is well and good, but if you have such different beliefs on what is healthy for your children and your husband doesn't respect your beliefs (his insisting on feeding your children meat and dairy is not respecting your beliefs), that's a pretty big stumbling block.

Yes but at the same time I wouldn't be respecting his beliefs. We want to have children, we don't argue and have great communication, I love him very much and would love to make this work. We won't be having children until we can work this out.

[Katydid]

There's nothing special in dairy that you can't get from a fortified soy, almond, rice or coconut milk. Ask your hubby if he would be satisfied giving the children a fortified plant-based milk if they are nutritionally equivalent (equal or greater B12, calcium, protein, omega-3 fatty acids). The kids will be better off, and hubby can be assured the kids are getting enough protein and calcium.
Kate

[Jenna]

Speaking from, if your husband is eating it, eventually your kids will want to eat it, too. Unless there is a reason for avoiding it that will motivate your child(ren), it will be very hard to keep away. For example, my oldest is allergic to peanut butter. When he eats it, he gets a painful rash around his mouth and hives. So when he wants peanut butter, I can explain what will happen and he's okay with not eating it.

My husband pretty much eats SAD (a more whole foods version, but still pretty close to SAD), but about 90% of the time, the kids eat what I eat or what I feed them because I am with them more, and I pack their lunches, etc. Anyway, I think 90% is pretty good, and with kids, there always has to be some compromise, birthday parties, holidays, etc. Or if you keep them on a really special diet, they feel really weird. We try to live somewhere in the middle.

Last thing I wanted to mention is that I nursed my oldest until he was 2.5, and he hates cow milk. So you could use extended nursing to put off dairy consumption, and maybe (s)he won't even like it.

It sounds like you will both be thoughtful and excellent parents!

[Dayquasar]

Speaking from, if your husband is eating it, eventually your kids will want to eat it, too. Unless there is a reason for avoiding it that will motivate your child(ren), it will be very hard to keep away. For example, my oldest is allergic to peanut butter. When he eats it, he gets a painful rash around his mouth and hives. So when he wants peanut butter, I can explain what will happen and he's okay with not eating it.

My husband pretty much eats SAD (a more whole foods version, but still pretty close to SAD), but about 90% of the time, the kids eat what I eat or what I feed them because I am with them more, and I pack their lunches, etc. Anyway, I think 90% is pretty good, and with kids, there always has to be some compromise, birthday parties, holidays, etc. Or if you keep them on a really special diet, they feel really weird. We try to live somewhere in the middle.

Last thing I wanted to mention is that I nursed my oldest until he was 2.5, and he hates cow milk. So you could use extended nursing to put off dairy consumption, and maybe (s)he won't even like it.

It sounds like you will both be thoughtful and excellent parents!

Thank you, I am hoping I will get to be the primary care giver so that I might be the one making lunches and feeding them most of the time lol and keep it to special occasions and things like that, I guess all I can do is try to limit it as much as I can and not stress when they get it, I don't want to create a seperation or rift between my husband and I. I do hope to breast feed as long as I can.

[TerriT]

The best argument for not giving children milk, in my opinion, is the link between dairy products and Type I diabetes.

http://www.vegsource.com/news/2011/05/d ... video.html