Dissolution's Solution

[Dissolution]

Here's my upcoming challenges. For the next two weeks my wife will be doing her Christmas cooking. We will deliver boxes or baskets of home made goodies to clients and send some off to family and friends. Last year the gift baskets contained fudge, home made candies, chex mix, cookies (she made 168 dozen cookies last year). While not helping with the cooking, I will be helping with the packaging.

Then, at the end of next week. We will be going on a short Christmas vacation with my youngest son and his GF, to New York City. We will be staying in Jersey City, NJ, mostly because that is the home of Carlo's Bakery from the TV show Cake Boss. I am certain she will want to make a few trips there.

She's also planning a trip to Mulberry Street (Little Italy) to at a traditional Italian restaurant. I have no problem with this. While I'm sure there will be too much oil, I can still enjoy pasta with marinara sauce.

The other place she wants to go is Katz's Delicatessen. This is the iconic restaurant from the fake orgasm scene in the movie When Harry Met Sally. She wants to go because they make their own pastrami. So I decided to check into vegan restaurant's in NYC. Sure enough there is a highly rated one just around the corner from Katz's. I've never been to a vegan restaurant, sounds like it would be as much a special treat for me as going to Katz's will be for my wife. So I suggested that while her and the kids (20 & 21) were eating at the deli, I could go to the vegan place...

She got pissed off...Seriously. Said I was driving a wedge between us and how I was being completely unfair because I eat Subway veggie subs every Tuesday. She admitted that she would never set foot in a vegan restaurant (trust me, she did not word it that kindly). This trip is going to suck, cause I'm not doing it. I'll stand outside and not eat a damned thing before I will sit in that deli with her and listen to her make "oh god" and moaning noises while she eats a pastrami sandwich. Hell I don't even like pastrami, so I'm not sure why I'm so certain it would piss me off.

This month is going to suck...

[AlwaysAgnes]

Here's my upcoming challenges. For the next two weeks my wife will be doing her Christmas cooking. We will deliver boxes or baskets of home made goodies to clients and send some off to family and friends. Last year the gift baskets contained fudge, home made candies, chex mix, cookies (she made 168 dozen cookies last year). While not helping with the cooking, I will be helping with the packaging.

Then, at the end of next week. We will be going on a short Christmas vacation with my youngest son and his GF, to New York City. We will be staying in Jersey City, NJ, mostly because that is the home of Carlo's Bakery from the TV show Cake Boss. I am certain she will want to make a few trips there.

She's also planning a trip to Mulberry Street (Little Italy) to at a traditional Italian restaurant. I have no problem with this. While I'm sure there will be too much oil, I can still enjoy pasta with marinara sauce.

The other place she wants to go is Katz's Delicatessen. This is the iconic restaurant from the fake orgasm scene in the movie When Harry Met Sally. She wants to go because they make their own pastrami. So I decided to check into vegan restaurant's in NYC. Sure enough there is a highly rated one just around the corner from Katz's. I've never been to a vegan restaurant, sounds like it would be as much a special treat for me as going to Katz's will be for my wife. So I suggested that while her and the kids (20 & 21) were eating at the deli, I could go to the vegan place...

She got pissed off...Seriously. Said I was driving a wedge between us and how I was being completely unfair because I eat Subway veggie subs every Tuesday. She admitted that she would never set foot in a vegan restaurant (trust me, she did not word it that kindly). This trip is going to suck, cause I'm not doing it. I'll stand outside and not eat a damned thing before I will sit in that deli with her and listen to her make "oh god" and moaning noises while she eats a pastrami sandwich. Hell I don't even like pastrami, so I'm not sure why I'm so certain it would piss me off.

This month is going to suck...

I'm really glad you have this forum to vent. If she were my wife, she'd be getting more than an earful. I can be mean, too. Chin up, Dissolution. Like Rocky, you're gonna come out a winner in this. I'm in your corner playing Taylor Swift's song "Mean," and I've dedicated it to your wife. She needs to wake up and realize she's the one using the wedge.

P.S. Pastrami is gross. Wonder if they could whip you up a vegan delight? I looked at the Katz's menu online, and they do have vegetarian baked beans. You could eat a double dose, plus a plate of sauerkraut, then when you go to bed that night pull the covers over her head. Told you I can do mean.

[Dissolution]

Thanks AA, cool song btw.

I think she was trying to apologize this evening. She was going to a bulk food store this afternoon and had asked if I wanted anything. I put in requests for nutritional yeast and flax seed meal. She bought me those, plus;

Steel cut oats
Short grain brown rice
Brown jasmine rice
Yellow split peas
Red lentils
Quinoa
Black turtle beans
Cranberry beans
Pearled barley

All the stuff in green is stuff I haven't tried before. I thought it was very nice of her. I guess I'll go out back and fill in the shallow grave I had dug...I kid I kid...lol

Just for reference some of the other stuff she bought, 50Lbs of flour, 25Lbs of sugar, 25Lbs of brown sugar, 15Lbs of oatmeal. Let baking week begin...

[AlwaysAgnes]

Thanks AA, cool song btw.

I think she was trying to apologize this evening. She was going to a bulk food store this afternoon and had asked if I wanted anything. I put in requests for nutritional yeast and flax seed meal. She bought me those, plus;

Steel cut oats
Short grain brown rice
Brown jasmine rice
Yellow split peas
Red lentils
Quinoa
Black turtle beans
Cranberry beans
Pearled barley

All the stuff in green is stuff I haven't tried before. I thought it was very nice of her. I guess I'll go out back and fill in the shallow grave I had dug...I kid I kid...lol

Just for reference some of the other stuff she bought, 50Lbs of flour, 25Lbs of sugar, 25Lbs of brown sugar, 15Lbs of oatmeal. Let baking week begin...

I used to do a lot of holiday baking, but I don't have it in me anymore. As much as your wife enjoys cooking and baking, if she got onboard with you, you'd be in heaven. I keep telling my husband to learn to cook so he can cook me healthy food. Sometimes I talk to the wall too.

I LOVE cranberry beans. They're what my dead ex MIL would call "soup beans." They're a lot like pintos, but not quite. When cooked down, they make a rich, brown broth. They're good over cornbread with diced onion. She'd throw pork fat in with 'em. (She threw pork fat in everything.) When I can find cranberry beans here, I usually cook them in the crockpot. I caramelize an onion first (I do that for pintos too) and throw that in the crock, then add the beans, water, and a clove or two of garlic. After they've cooked a good while, I put in 1/2 tsp of liquid smoke and some salt. The carmelized onion and liquid smoke give the beans what's missing when you leave out the pork fat.

Red lentils are nice. They cook quickly. You can probably find lots of recipes using those in the newsletter archive.

[chrisv]

Hi Dis, A few years ago I with a family group visiting NY, and looked up vegan restaurants. A few of us did the duck around the corner, while most wouldn't have gone to a vegan place. I wound up ordering an eggplant dish, which turned out to be breaded and fried, which didn't seem to match the menu description. I ate it anyway, and was pleased that we found the place, but disappointed with my meal. Hope things get better with your family.

[Dissolution]

AA: I agree, if the wife went vegan, I'd be in heaven, and not just because of her cooking. Also thanks for the cranberry bean tips, sounds delicious.

Chrisv: This is the place I was thinking about http://www.tiengardener.com/Main.html Definitely some stuff on their menu to watch out for, but it's just so rare to actually have a choice of things to eat from a restaurant menu.

My wife is doing her Master Chef audition dinner tomorrow night. I guess we have five people coming for dinner. One lady is bringing a vegan dessert. I will be sure to have seconds, no matter what.

I'm having shepherd's pie. I pre-made everything tonight, the wife has agreed to assemble it and bake it. I didn't follow a recipe. I did ask the wife to come check the thickness of the lentil, mushroom, corn, green bean mixture, to see how she thought it would work for shepherd's pie. She made some remark about how horrible it smelled and held her nose the whole time she was in the kitchen. Her attitude is becoming tedious.

Of course she was probably mad from when I told her I was invited to a Christmas pot luck luncheon at one of my client's offices. She said, "Would you like for me to make something for you to take?".

I said, "Shouldn't I take something vegan?". I wasn't trying to piss her off, but I guess turning down her offer to cook hurt her feelings.

[Dissolution]

So on a more positive note, the scale overlord decided to show 2 pounds less this morning!

At our dinner "party" tonight, there will be two couples. I work with the husband in one of the couples and he has been observing my weight loss with much interest, he's about 60 lbs overweight (funny, I never really considered him "fat"). I think he and his family are going to try switching to vegan in January.

The other couple has some severe health problems. He is 100 lbs overweight and she is 200 lbs overweight, and all the other chronic conditions that go along with that. They haven't seen me since I started this WOE, that was 48 pounds ago, just though I'd mention that in case you missed the weight loss ticker at the bottom of all my posts.

I'm sure to get questions about this WOE. Normally I'll direct people to this web site, or Esselstyn's (if they have heart disease), or Engine 2 if they are younger and healthier. I'll be honest I don't think this method works well, people's eyes seem to glaze over when I redirect them to a web site. So I figured in addition to telling them who the experts were, and where to do their own research, I would print off the "rules" that I follow.

Suggestions or criticisms are most welcome.


Rules

No animal protein or animal fat
Try to avoid added oils
(Do NOT underestimate the amount of calories added oil accounts for)
Keep % of calories from fat to 25% or less.
(This is the rule that keeps nuts and seeds off the diet)
(Will also eliminate most salad dressings)
Do not drink your calories
(You body does not register calories taken in by drinking, as calories)
(Juicing, juices and smoothies are eliminated here)
Try to eat at least one dark green leafy vegetable, twice a day.
(lettuce does NOT count)
(broccoli does)
Eat fruit 2 or 3 times a day.
All meals should contain a starch, this is what will keep you from being hungry.
(oatmeal counts as a starch)
(potatoes ARE diet food)
Try to avoid purchased food that has more than 4 ingredients.
Mostly, if it comes in a box, you probably shouldn't be eating it.
(There are exceptions to the above 2 rules, RyKrisp comes to mind)
Limit bread intake, bread should be low fat and whole wheat.
Spice it up!
(Most spices are very high in anti oxidents)

[nomikins]

Hope you have a good party. Perhaps printing out some resources you could hand out would work.

[lmggallagher]

Hi Dissolution:

Love your list -- I would maybe add two things - starches would also include, rice, potatoes, yams and whatever other starches yo use.

I would do this because, people have for SOOO long avoided potatoes and yams and what not that they just don't even think of them anymore. when people ask me what I can eat on my "diet" I start with potatoes and people are stunned and want to debate that they are fattening. My retort is now I lost 10 pounds recently eating potatoes.

I would also consider saying that starches is 1/2 the plate and yellow and green veggies the other. Again because folks I talk to seem to think even if they can HAVE potatoes, it's still like a couple of spoonfuls.

[Dissolution]

nomikins Good idea for the print outs, sadly though no details were requested.

Michelle I added (potatoes ARE diet food) to the starch section.

Our dinner party tonight was very nice, everybody had a good time. Our guests enjoyed my wife's food very much, and a few of them even tried my vegan shepherd's pie. My friend's wife's vegan dessert was excellent (fruit salad) and I took seconds.

Our friends were polite and 4 out of 5 tasted my dish, and complimented it. One asked for the recipe and another stated that he would not have known there was no meat in it, if he didn't know before hand. (I guess that's a compliment).

I'm a little tired but I did want to mention the most surprising thing about this evening. My wife made New York strip with a mushroom/onion/blue cheese gravy/sauce, and creamed vegetables. I am quite certain that a few months ago I would have enjoyed this meal very very much, as our friends did. I'm actually a little shocked at how disgusted I was by it this evening. It makes me a little sad, and I'm not quite sure why.

Let me sleep on it...

[Broadbean]

I went to NYC shortly after beginning McDougalling this summer, and was excited to find these wonderful salad shops all over the place. (Can't remember the name... can anyone?) They look like upscale little delis but inside you buy a big thing of greens (choose romaine or spinach or greens) hand it to a guy behind a counter, and he adds whatever stuff you like: tons and tons of toppings many of which are perfectly legal for us. AND there were non-fat dressings!

My memory of the first salad I got there is still vivid in my mind, the sunshine coming through the window, the delicious flavors.... (I was incredibly hungry and the salad was EXACTLY what I wanted...)

These salad shops also have a pasta bar! You can bring your wife...

[Dissolution]

Broadbean Nice suggestion. When I was looking around for points of interest I noticed couple of places called Just Salad, maybe that is the place you went to.

So I mentioned last night about being shocked at how disgusted I was with the meal my wife prepared for our guests, and that it made me sad, that I was disgusted. In some weird way, I think I was mourning the loss of the old me.

The me that would have eaten my whole steak and half of my wife's.
The me that would have had seconds of everything.
The me that would have loved the meal my wife cooked.
The me that would have marveled at the complexity of her sauces.
The me that would have appreciated the expensive black cocoa powder she used in making her "Black Magic" cake.
The me that would have gladly eaten the left over home made butter-cream after she frosted the cake.

I have truly changed. It sounds arrogant, but it almost feels like I've evolved.

One of the hors d'oeuvres she served was some kind of sausage cheese ball. She asked me to help her by rolling them into ball and putting them on a cookie sheet. I told her I couldn't, that the raw sausage mixture made me sick. She actually took that better than I expected.

The wife considers my new diet to be and expensive way to eat. The night before the party for my shepherd's pie, I made the filling and the potatoes, with the intention of having her assemble it and bake before I got home from work. So here's what I used;

1 cup dried lentils
2 cups of water
1 cup of vegetable broth
1 jar of mushrooms (I used the expensive $1.60 ones)
1 can of corn
1 can of green beans
3 potatoes
1/2 cup of silk (for the mashed potatoes)

What is that? 6 bucks? Hell, let's call it $7.50.

When I first made it I decided I had too much, so I ate some mashed potatoes with the filling on top. Last night I ate half the dish, and half tonight (some of it did go to people who wanted to taste it). That's $2.50 a meal! I probably even ate too much. The steaks were $9.95 a pound and most of the steaks were very close to a pound each. Who's eating expensive now.

[MixedGrains]

Yeah, I had trouble at first with "all the money" I was spending on attractive fruits and veggies -- they get spendy, especially when from far away or out of season. And it bothers me that there's always some waste ... if I keep enough fruit and veg on hand that there's always something tasty and tempting, some of it will inevitably spoil before I get to it. (I'm *way* too far out in the country to shop daily.)

It took me a LONG time to realize that not buying meat and dairy (especially cheese) was saving me so much, I was way ahead buying "expensive" veg and watching some of it spoil. Intellectually I understand this now, but emotionally, I still struggle with it sometimes.

At first I was also having trouble paying up to several bucks a pound for some of the more expensive whole grains, until I started doing per-meal cost calculations and comparing to meat-based meals. That bit of arithmetic cheered me right the heck up.

[Broadbean]

I sympathize with you, but I also feel for your wife. Change in a spouse, even or especially if it's an "evolution" is really hard to take. A couple years ago my husband stopped drinking his daily beer, dropped 20 pounds, got rid of his old "dad jeans" and flannel shirts, and cut his hair really short.

I was sure that he was either having an affair or planning on it!!! I was deeply freaked out!

But now, after two years with the "new him," he has me convinced that he really did just look in the mirror and saw his dad looking out, and thought he was too young to go down that road.

But I definitely made snippy remarks, spied on his email, and made the uncomfortable realization that I had to make some changes of my own.

It's like any changes the spouse makes are moves AWAY. I felt moved away from and abandoned, like all those years of love were being lost. In retrospect it's silly, since all he was doing was getting healthier and handsomer. He thought he I should be happy because I had this svelte new younger-looking husband, but instead I was just unhappy and paranoid.

I got over it, but it took a while, and I had to convince my husband that my feelings (while silly) were absolutely real and understandable. (Losing my own weight helped.)

[fulenn]

You are doing such a nice job!

I would love to see what your wife could come up with for a McDougall-friendly gravy and a sauce or two. When(if) she finally gives you her full support, you will have to post what she comes up with.

Hope New York is fun.

Fulenn