Journal of my journey

[Morris]

January 20, 2020
I cannot believe how quickly this month seems to be passing - I must be having fun. Truthfully, it may be so. Yesterday, I spent 2-1/2 hours outside piling up snow so I can make a quinzee (a snow hut). I was out there thinking how peaceful and calm it was. It was cloudy and the sun was peaking through the clouds.I was having a good time out there.

I now need to hollow it out. I have been wanting to go camping, but I don't really want to deal with the cold and a quinzee would be a 'cool' (pun intended) spot to go and hang out for a bit. Now, I am hoping it does not warm up too much -- How's that for someone who wimps out in the cold.

I made some "creamy" tomato soup the other day. I had to clearly state to hubby that I wanted some of the leftovers - it was that good, he does not even like tomato soup.

That $30 a week thread has me intrigued and I started watching you tube videos. I found one that did an extreme challenge on feeding a family of 6 on $30 for the week. She claimed that her family was not thrilled with the bland meals, but they all had enough to eat.

And then there is the Steph and Adam videos where they do the meal prep - those two are interesting to watch and learn from - Watching these kind of put me to shame because I have been wanting to do these types of challenges for years now and never have taken that initial step to do so. Some day, some day....

Seriously, I think it is the produce that brings up the total cost of meals - rice and beans are cheap. But those greens -- you start out with a lot but if you cook them you are lucky to get 1/2 of cup out of the bag --hahaha

My daughter (D2) is working now and she is packing her lunch - she is starting to eat more fruit and less processed foods. Yesterday, she stated that the eczema she has is started to be less severe now.

I made a batch of chocolate chip cookies the other day - the guy that plows our driveway enjoys them and he does such a good job - he even liked the Chunky Monkey cookies I made a couple of snow storms ago. I find it interesting that hubby is now hiding the ones leftover from me - role reversal - he eats more junk now than I do. He had to show me the hiding spot though -- probably because I did not hunt for them.

Lots of snow this year - must be the wet cycle. I still need to pull out my snow shoes - but the trails I walk on are snowmobile trails and are usually hard packed so I don't need the snow shoes.

I need to go to town today and I am making a stop at Costco -- I hope that they are still selling the riced cauliflower. I realized that when I was adding that daily to my oats flakes that I was at my lowest weight. I am also going to shop at another store and buy some of those vegetable mixes. I need to eat more veggies, my weight is stuck where I am not comfortable.

What I plan to eat today:
coffee
tri-grain flakes with blueberries, cranberries, flaxseed and banana

exercise - go out and start hollowing out my quinzees

Salad: romaine, spinach and sweet kale mix
??

[Morris]

January 23, 2020
It seems I have chucked everything and am fighting an "I don't care" much about how I eat and this morning I realize that is a mistake. I am reading Secrets of the Eating Lab by Traci Mann and am to the point where she is getting into the strategies to use so that one can get to maintain their lowest liveable weight.

It is an interesting book, the author works (-ed?) at the University of MInnesota and she has conducted studies to learn about eating behavior. The strategies she is listing are a compliment to the Beck Diet Solution, changing the way you think.

One of the strategies was dealing with having the support of others and she mentioned that one can have support of a loved one, but if that person's motive for helping you is not for your best interest, but theirs, then chances are high that you'd fail in continuing with your plan.

She gave the example of a husband supporting a wife to lose weight, not because it will be healthier for her, but because he wants a skinnier wife. That got me thinking about me and my motive for helping my husband lose weight. I am selfish in my reasoning -- that is a wake-up call for me. And I am thinking that may one of the reasons that I am not being successful in my goals of eating better, my motive for helping hubby in losing weight is for the wrong reason.

Speaking of my goals, I was rearranging some papers on my desk and I found the list of my goals that I had for myself at the beginning of the year. It is only the third week of January and it seems like it was years ago since I created that list and even doing anything to achieve those goals.

Only one goal have I been consistent in doing daily and that is to exercise daily - one of the things on the McDougall list. Seeing the list and how I seemed to have forgotten about what I wanted to do is putting a bit of motivation in me to get back with it and I need to start focusing on doing what I know I ought to be doing.

This week has been hard because hubby has had doctor appointments and that means I have has a lot of time being spent in the car -- translate that to I have to listen to monologue after monologue after monologue of him talking about himself and all his accomplishments that he did in his life. -- This is starting to cause me concern because I am remembering my grandfather in his later years and when he started exhibiting signs of dementia - all he did was talk of things he did in his younger years.

Well, finding my list of goals and realizing how far they were from my mind has caused me to give some serious thought as to why I keep putting off what I want to accomplish and make no effort to accomplish those goals. To be truthful, I really have to idea other than sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with the things going on in my life and with family members and turn to eating the wrong thing only to feel like crap afterwards.

Remember, a while back I was going to do that bullet journal and include a gratitude section - ha! that was a bust - certainly not my style. I only lasted one week doing the gratitude journal -- making me think that I am not a grateful person -

i need to be careful here and stay positive - yesterday, hubby had an appointment where the location was close to the library. I decided to wait for him there and looking at the cookbook section, I found a McDougall cookbook. Then, we stopped at a grocery store on the way home (one that I don't usually shop at) and found some lettuce and spinach on clearance. The spinach was priced at .99 cents and on the package was a save $1.00 instantly. How's that for a deal?! So, I am starting my day with a huge salad. Just too many coincidences to tell me to get back on track.

What I plan to eat today:
coffee
salad - romaine mix with carrots
pinto beans

lentils with spinach, onion, and tomato
sweet potato
salad - romaine

Exercise: at least 30 minutes of something that will get my heart rate up. (Bike, shovel out the inside of my quinzee, or a walk)

[bunsofaluminum]

I like all those coincidences...free spinach? Can't beat that with a stick! Glad to see that you are doing so well.

[Morris]

January 26, 2020

Here's is an interesting observation I discovered, my uncle's wife posted an article of woods therapy, how being in the woods lowered stress levels. I was glancing at my fitbit data and noticed my lowest resting heart rate was occuring on the days that I went into the woods for my "woods therapy". I was hiking in the woods for at least an hour. Something about nature that can be calming.

I am hoping I don't jinx myself, but January is almost over and I am still on track for my Amerithon challenge - about 10 miles a day. This is easily accomplish if, instead of sitting or laying on the couch, I get on the recumbent bike while I watch youtube videos. I would walk on the treadmill, but I get more miles on the bike. (my way of cheating - haha)

[Morris]

January 28, 2020

Well, I jinxed myself and now am behind in my mileage -- I can easily make it up if I hop on the recumbent bike -- but I need find the time. January is almost over and April is coming up quickly - GD1 is wanting to do that half marathon with me. January has been a bust for me to train for it. But, I still have time. Instead of running, I have been hiking in the woods.

Have I mentioned that I was making a quinzee (snow hut)? I finally got it carved out and was so happy to have accomplished this. I have made snow tunnels in my childhood and one time I made a tunnel with my grandsons. But this is the first time I made a quinzees. As I was making the finishing touches, carving out the sides and leveling the floor. I was all smiles and congratulating myself on my accomplishment.

Just as I was doing my final clearing out the snow, hubby comes by and instead of acknowledging my accomplishment, I got to listen to how I should have done it instead of what I did ... MY reaction: thanks for stealing my joy. Not for sure how I feel about that: or or or

I found the Sweet Kale Mix at a lower price at Costco so I bought a couple of bags - I see a vegetable soup in my near future.

Well, I need to get a move on! Today, what I plan to eat:
coffee
tri-grain flakes with blueberries, triple berry mix, flax seed and pear

Roasted vegetables: parsnips, carrot, onion, potato
Salad: romaine, spinach, sweet kale mix

Then, I am off to town to do errands with my mom and then will spend the rest of the day with my sister. We will most likely go out to eat.

[Morris]

January 31, 2020
Last day of January - I weighed myself this morning just to see where I am at and I am doing good. I have been trying to add more water throughout the day and to add a glass of water with my meals. One thing I am needing to really focus on and learn to adjust is to stop when I feel full. I am a volume eater and have a tendency to eat way more than I need. I am experimenting with portion control. It is so hard to stop when what I really want to do is stuff my face.

That $30 a week thread has me intrigued and I actually went to a Dollar Tree to look at what items they had and I am going to try to come up with a menu to try. I think I may end up going to more than one store because I may want to add more veggies to the meals. I think that to do this, one may have to get used to eating the same thing day after day. I want to see what I can come up with for a variety but using the same items -- seems like it will be like Mary's mini but only with more ingredients.

It really shouldn't be too difficult because I am already eating a lot of the same thing over and over day after day. Look at how often I stated I was going to start my day with oatmeal or tri-grain flakes. And my main meals have lentils, beans, or potatoes.

Today, I am going to try some farro - (oh, yeah! something different) with a pasta sauce over it. I bought a small bag the other day when we stopped at Trader Joe's. The pasta sauce is leftover from last night - it was a jarred sauce, but I added onion, green pepper, red pepper, garlic and spinach to it. It was served over Veggie Spaghetti - noodles that had spinach and zucchini in it.

Time to go - I had an insomnia night and it is time to start my day - Have to go to town today

[Morris]

February 6, 2020

I have not posted for a while, been close to staying on track this past week. I have had a few episodes where I can in, but I am happy to report that those bags of mini's chocolate bars are still at the store. I started to buy about a bag a week - I'd fill up the candy jar and then hide the rest for my secret binge. But, I am hoping that I have come to my senses now and recognize that I have no self-control when those things are in the house. Besides, they are starting to taste good to me again and that tells me I am eating way too many.

I found my list of goals that I printed out but had it hidden behind a few papers and one of my goals is to have controlled eating of snacks - when those mini chocolate bars are around, controlled eating is only in my imagination.

Here is my list:
1. 128 pounds
2. Controlled eating of snacks
3. Eat only when hungry and until satisfied
4. Exercise daily, either planned or spontaneous

It is now the second month of the year and I need to get focused and figure out a plan as to how to do those goals. #4, exercise daily is on of the 10 points on the MWL - I have been focusing on doing that and only missed about 5 days and that was just because my day was too busy and I decided to get chores done before exercising. I find that if I don't get it done right away in the morning - time gets away from me and then I am too tired and don't want to exercise right before bedtime.

I went to the Dollar Tree to see what items they have and if I can plan some meals using just those ingredients. I am currently working on putting all the ingredients into a spreadsheet with price per serving. Once I get that done, I am going to plan a menu -- I asked hubby if he wanted to a $30 week challenge with me - but my answer was a look of scorn - I guess it was not his idea so he is not willing to try.

They only thing I don't like about just using the Dollar Tree is the lack of fresh produce - so I may need to go to Walmart and check items there before I try this challenge. I am going to do the $30 challenge with my sister - she is more than willing to give it a try. I will need to come up with meals that a SAD family will enjoy.

I am focusing on eating apples, pears and.or grapes. Plus, for my breakfast, I bought some more riced cauliflower to add in more veggies. I also came to the realization that the months I was including that in my breakfast was the time I was at my lowest weight - So, I am starting to have my tri-grain flakes with fruit again for breakfast and discovered that since the beginning of the year I am down about 2-1/2 pounds. Slow and steady wins the race. You know, it really is the food!

What I plan to eat today:

coffee
riced cauliflower tri-grain flakes with blueberries, pear, flaxseed

black beans
sweet potato
salad: lettuce mix, spinach, sweet kale mix and beets

grapes / apple for snack

[bunsofaluminum]

February 6, 2020



Here is my list:
1. 128 pounds
2. Controlled eating of snacks
3. Eat only when hungry and until satisfied
4. Exercise daily, either planned or spontaneous

It is now the second month of the year and I need to get focused and figure out a plan as to how to do those goals. #4, exercise daily is on of the 10 points on the MWL - I have been focusing on doing that and only missed about 5 days and that was just because my day was too busy and I decided to get chores done before exercising. I find that if I don't get it done right away in the morning - time gets away from me and then I am too tired and don't want to exercise right before bedtime.

I was just thinking as I read about you building that snow hut, how much exercise that really is. Also, if you do household chores,t hat is exercise as well. You are not one to sit around, and your activity level is remarkable, in my book. Even if you're not getting on the recumbent or going out to hike or run, you do so much physical activity, and so much of it is fun! I think that's fantastic! Too bad about a grumpy old man who can only criticize. Ugh. But you keep going!

[Morris]

February 11, 2020
I have to make this quick - coffee time is almost done and I need to leave to go visit my parents. Hubby is staying behind and I am hoping to spend time with my sister in the afternoon.

I have been eating lentils these past few days - I made Lentil Pie - I converted an old family favorite Hamburger Pie that I learned to make when I was 8 years old and in Campfire Girls. It is just lentils in a tomato base with green beans and topped with mashed potatoes.

Since I cooked up a pound of lentils, I made the Forks Over Knives Lentil Vegetable soup.

My bad was that we checked out this bakery that has new owner - I will just say that I eat too much bread.

I am going to have some of the lentil pie for breakfast and I hope that will keep me from snacking and eating the wrong thing for lunch and/or dinner. I kind of wish hubby would get serious about his diet plan then we'd both be working on eating right. But then, he has very different ideas as to what is the "right" foods to eat. So far, he is making no effort to do the anti-inflammatory diet he was prescribed. Anytime, he asks me if I want something and if I say, "No, that is inflammatory." He'll respond with, "Okay, I'll take two then." It is so frustrating, especially when he complains about the pain he is in. But I cannot focus on that, I need to focus on what I need to do for me -- and that is stay out of the darn bakery!

My exercise has been going for walks in the woods - my I love my woods therapy. Last night I went out just before sunset and walked a mile in the dark. Been here for 15 years and I always wanted to do a night time run - I ventured to do a walk - got 4 miles total. I walk real slow though and really ought to pick up my pace but the roads are snow packed and icey and when In the woods I follow the snowmobile trail or if I venture off the trail, I follow deer trails.

I must go now, have a great day.

[Morris]

February 12, 2020
What is wrong with people?! Yesterday, I drove 1 hour 1 way to go help my mom. I stop at a gas station to fill my car up with gas and my mom calls. I tell her I am at the gas station and will be there in about 5 minutes. I asked her to keep her phone handy so she can let me in (it is a secured building and it is connected to her phone) I get there and buzz her number - no answer. I wait a few minutes and buzz again - no answer. I had to beg some one passing in the hall to open the door for me. Someone let me in. I get to my mom's apartment and she opens her door with this evil grin on her face. Now, I am, like, does she not open the door just to get on my nerves? Judging by her face - she is playing games. I am so done with people treating me poorly, especially when I am trying to help them.

This is strike one for her with this game. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and let it slide. If she does it again, I know it was not my imagination. Third time she does it, I am just going to turn around and go back home. No sense talking to her - she denied it.

She does not carry her cell phone with her so when someone comes, she is not able to let them in, then she complains because no one visits her. -- Sometimes I think I must have really been bad in a past life for people to treat me the way they do. It is no wonder I don't like being around people.

Despite that, I pretty much controlled my eating - at least no binging. So glad there are no candy bars, chips or ice cream in the house. There are cookies, but I do not really like them.

What I ate today:
coffee
rice with blueberries, nuts and seed, cinnamon and chia seed

2 dinner rolls
salad: iceberg mix. sweet kale, spinach and tomato
tomato juice

lentil vegetable soup
blueberry bagel with cream cheese

whole wheat toast with a small amount of butter

hot cocoa

A few things off plan - exercise = 93 minutes on recumbent bike = 34.6 miles

[Morris]

February 13, 2020
Well, I blew it, It hit those cookies before I fell asleep. No comfort at all in eating them, in fact I feel like crap this morning. We have a cold snap and it is too cold to be outside - I am stuck inside, oh wait, I have my snow fort - I am going to disappear today and hide out in my quinzee. It should be fun - I'll take my stadium chair, some hot tea and a book. I'll call it my happy time. I'll update if I actually do it.

I am still working on the spreadsheet for the Dollar Tree price per serving spreadsheet - I am going to look at the items and cheat and see what I have in my cupboards that match and see what meals I can create with it. Although right now, I know I can do some bean dishes cheaper because of the roll-back prices from Walmart. We stocked up - .50 cents a can. Pasta Sauces are for .88 cents for a 24 ounce jar.

When I do make my menu, I also want to include the inflammation factor for my recipes. So, it will take some planning on my part and I hope that I find the time to get it done. This project is something that I have been wanting to do for quite some time and I just need to do it.

I heard hubby mumbling either to himself or to me ( I tune him out so much, but to justify myself this time he spoke with his back toward me, hence I don't know who he was talking to) and he said that it was time for him to start eating clean. Of course, we each have a different definition of what "clean" eating means, but it may mean that we can both get on track with our eating in whatever plan we choose.

I also took our dog to the vet and that poor doggie has gained weight - so I guess all in this household are needing to clean up our eating.

What I plan to eat today:
coffee
tri-grain flakes with cauliflower, blueberries, apple or pear, flax seed

Lentil soup
salad: lettuce, spinach, sweet kale mix, beet

Sweet potato
black bean
green beans
lentil soup

Exercise - treadmill, I am going to attempt an hour ( GD1 is planning on doing that half marathon with me at the end of April - I need to have my legs and hips ready for it. I am hoping the bike is beneficial for my cardio and am using that as cross training. ) I cannot wait til the weather is warmer and the ice is gone from the roads so I can get outside to run.

[Morris]

February 15, 2020

My, oh, my - February is half over and I am so far from getting anything I wanted to do accomplished. Where does the time go?

I never did make it out to my quinzee - we had a cold snap and I did not want to freeze my tush off sitting on the cold ground. 0 F.
Have I mentioned that I am a wimp in the cold? Plus the wind -- made it dangerous to be outside for too long. Hubby took GD1 for a walk down the driveway to the road (.10 mile) and back in the cold to give her a lesson on how the temperature and wind can be dangerous. When they got down to the driveway, she asked, "Grandpa, are you teaching me a lesson?" Yes, a big one - dress appropriately for the weather.

I am glad he is spending time with her and the youngest grandson - he has a special bond with those two. Our daughters missed out big time in that.

Today is hubby's birthday - I imagine he will want to go out to eat. He shares his birthday with my mom. This is going to be the first year in a long time that we do not go out to eat with my parents for that "free" birthday dinner. The nursing home where my dad is at had a special Valentine dinner and my dad paid extra to take mom out. What a difficult time my parents are having! My dad seems to be adjusting but my mom has a way to go accepting their new lifestyle. I really cannot imagine.

What I ate yesterday:
coffee
dry cereal - shredded wheat and flakes with nut and seed mixture and banana, added flaxseed

V8 - small can
juice - 6 oz

boiled potatoes and Brussels Sprouts

Snacks:
popcorn
3 cookies

Exercise was treadmill - for 50 minutes and 1 hour on the recumbent bike

Weight - up a bit --- I need to focus more on hydration.

I find if I exercise in the morning, before breakfast; then I usually only eat 2 meals because I usually exercise before I eat. That varies though, depending on how hungry I am when I wake up.

[Morris]

February 17, 2020

My eating yesterday was so off plan that other than the huge salad I at, I am not sure anything was compliant. It was a processed day - but I enjoyed my scenery. I woke up yesterday with the intent on making up my mileage on the Amerithon challenge. However the sun was shining and the sky was blue and I heard the woods calling my name.

I packed 3 thermos of hot water, grabbed some hot cocoa mixes, and chewy granola bars. protein bar and fig cookies. I bundled up and headed out to the woods. I did my loop, but went the opposite way that I normally do - (total loop was 4 miles) at the 3 mile mark, I went off trail and to a clearing in the woods. Set down my sitting pad, and leaned up against a tree and enjoyed my hot cocoa and 2 of the bars.

I brought a book along with me, but I misjudged the temperature - the sunshine was deceiving and it was only like 15°F. My hands got too cold, plus I was sweaty because of the walk (going this way, I ended up walking mostly uphill because it is a hilly route). But, overall, it was a nice time to sit in the sun. And although I saw some tracks that I thought was a bobcat I did not get nervous. It started getting cloudy by the time I sat down so I watched the clouds float by instead of reading my book. This winter, I am calling that place my happy spot.

But, I did have a salad when I returned: iceberg mix, spinach, sweet Kale mix, beet

I ended up eating eggs and toast with a fruit cup for supper.

I did do a 30 minute run on the treadmill using my Jeff Galloway app, I had the speed set too fast on the run, but I slowed it down and managed to do all the 3 minutes runs.

Need to eat better, too many germs floating around

[Morris]

February 19, 2020

What an emotional week!! - It concerns my dad. It is too personal to share here but it was serious enough that I called a meeting with my siblings to discuss what was going on. All in all, it has been a while since I got together with my brothers, one sister showed up (one was sick and the other out of town).

I could not believe how heavy my youngest brother has become. I had not seen him since last summer when my parents sold the house. When we ended our meeting, one brother stated he wanted to go for a walk, my sister then said, "No wonder you are so thin, you walk," and then she looks at me and says, "And you are always running."

I often think about how much exercise plays a part in our weight. Growing up, my mom and dad were into organic gardening and my mom canned so we ate a lot from what we harvested. But we ate the typical SAD diet for the time, meaning not a lot of going to fast food places. My brother were thin and out of the girls, I was the one that did not have weight issues. But I was the active one - I was in sports, I rode by bicycle all around town and into the country. My brothers were also active with sporty type activities. So, I guess the reason I am mention this is because of the 30 minute of being active daily in the 10 point list.

Just seeing them and listening to what their health problems are makes me really think that I need to get my act together. My weight is sort of stuck right now and I am not comfortable with the bloat I am experience - it is time for me to get my act together and get with the plan. I really need to stop making excuses and commit to a plan.

Commit to a plan - I make way to many excuses as to way I go off plan, plus I have not seriously committed to following it. I just need to do it -- I have too many things happening in my life that are affecting my mood and I do not need to add the junk food to it also.

I started yesterday well:
coffee
trigrain oats, riced cauliflower, blueberries, cranberries, flaxseed, banana

japanese sweet potato
asparagus
chickpea masala
spinach

oj
potato chips - the bad, ate it on the way home after meeting with my brothers and sisters (emotional or dehydration)

[Morris]

February 20, 2020

GD1 is on her school trip to Puerto Rico - hope she has fun and stays safe. What fun for her!

We have had a cold snap and I have been staying indoors -- I cannot wait to get outdoors again. I have been too wimpy to go sit in my quinzee -- I spent all that time making it. It turned out to be a lot smaller on the inside than I planned and that may be one reason I don't want to go sit in it. Plus, I am too busy -- my plans just don't go as planned. So frustrating.

GD1 is still planning to do that half marathon with me -- I have not yet registered for the race, it is an expensive race and I am waiting to make sure she is going to do it with me. If not, I will do the 10k. But, I'll do the Half with her. What a memory, running a half marathon (13.1 miles) with my granddaughter.

So, I dug through all my stuff and found my ipod touch where I have the Jeff Galloway apps and I did my first long run on the treadmill yesterday - 5 miles. I watched a treadmill TV video, a virtual run, while I ran and I pretended GD1 was just ahead of me on the road and I had to catch up to her (just like I did on the real road races) and I managed to do my 3 minute run and 1 minute walk for the whole distance. But, that last 1-1/2 mile was a struggle.

My eating is going well for breakfast and lunch, but I am struggling with the evening hours. I need to figure out how to stay on plan that time of day. I think I may try to find a relaxing yoga video to distract me from wanting to eat - but I don't know. It is really all about choices, I just need to make better choices.

Yesterday I made a big batch of vegetable soup: onion, carrot, celery, potato, tomato and zucchini.
That is what I'll be eating today.