Bea's Journal

[LauraA]

Hi - I know that you are busy, but hope to see another update soon. Take care, LauraA

[sksamboots]

Hi, hope your doing good

[BHealthy]

Oops. Posted same message twice.

[BHealthy]

For crying out loud! My THIRD message here just disappeared!!! I'm going to type it in word and transfer it now. That's it!

First of all – thanks so much for sticking with me Letha, Laura A., Sksamboots, Kirk and Anna. I’ve been so incredibly busy that I haven’t even opened my home computer for days and days. I tried last night to send a message here and lost it, then lost two lengthy attempts today, so now I have to be short and sweet about it which is probably best anyway.

First of all – it’s been rough with the knees. They are dying from the walking and that is causing the fluid retention as a way to protect the joints. The physical therapist says the body does that in reaction to this kind of pain. On a scale of 1-10 I’ve been at a 9 many, many times this week. When it gets that bad I resort to the scooter – but often I’ve had to just push through the pain to haul furniture and boxes. I try to sit as often as possible to do things but you know how it is when moving things and setting up a home – it’s much the same with a classroom.
Yesterday I had the delight of meeting all but one of my students and their families. The night before we put on an orientation meeting for the parents. It’s going to be another great year. I love the diversity (9 different languages) and the boy-girl ratio (about 3 boys to every girl) is going to be lots of fun. I was surprised that many of the students didn’t like books much, so opening that door is going to be lots of fun. They’ll love the science. I feel so fortunate to love what I do and blessed by the learning and loving I get to do in my profession. It’s just the best.

I only got in 2 exercise sessions last week and one so far this week, but will swim tonight and Sat, Sun – so that will be back up to 4. I’d prefer to be working out 6 times a week but I still can’t get out of the pool with my cane. You see, my knees are getting worse. Oh, the swimming is helping a lot. The PT said my hip flexibility is really good and so is my strength – upper and lower body. I’m up to 20 laps now and doing the aerobic workout routine – total 60 minutes and then a brief stretching/cool down. I miss the swimming, so I’m really looking forward to it tonight. That’s a good workout, but the walking is destroying them and causing the pain. Bone grinding on bone is one of the worst pains the PT said. It helped hearing that because I was telling myself that I was being such a baby about it. He said it’s also exhausting – pain is… so I don’t feel like such a whiner inside.

The good news is the more weight I lose, the easier it is on the knees. Bad news is I need to do a lot of walking in my job which leads to more damage, more fluids and as a result continued weight. More good news, though. . . I have been losing weight because I’m at 393 with fluids (no lasix for something like 2 or more weeks now) so who knows what my body weighs without the fluids – I’d guess close to 380, but I don’t really know.

All I know is that I’ve been eating as planned and need to fit in more exercise sessions. I have some simple exercises to do for my ankles and hips so they don’t get blasted by this. I may need to get a more appropriate scooter as the one I purchased isn’t build for this much weight, but so far, so good. I’m getting pretty frisky on that thing and have only run down a couple staff members. I use it after I’ve been walking a lot and honestly can’t handle the pain anymore.

Sorry to use the word pain so much. Enough of that.

Last night I made lentils and rice casserole. I’ll be having that for lunch at work. I’m home to keep tabs on the crew that is making repairs inside my condo. They installed new windows and the outside of my place and did some damage. So far nothing has been repaired. The painter isn’t back, the door repairer went to get a saw and something else about 45 min ago and nothing is done. My poor cats are locked up again today, the sweeties. They are so forgiving when I’ve been away so much these past weeks. They are siblings from the shelter and just awesome. I named them both after favorite children’s book characters. The female fetches and growls like a dog if she hears someone at the door and runs to the door. The male has this 1/3 length tail which is totally adorable and expressive. He sleeps on me at night. Scratches at the covers until I lift them and curls up over my heart.

Well, just wanted to let you know that I am doing well and looking forward to working with my students. I haven’t been eating enough calories, though as I’m so exhausted by the time I get home I barely eat and then drop to sleep. It’s better not to eat a lot late anyway.

Have a great weekend everyone and I’ll be back here someday to visit your logs.

At least I didn’t lose this message!

[sksamboots]

Your doing so great. I'm really excited about your school year. What do you teach again, I might have missed that? You sound so excited, I'm so happy for you. Look at you and all that exercise, your doing great. I wish you a happy and swimming weekend

[Tina]

Hi Bea! I'm new to this forum and just read your journal. I'm a fellow teacher McDougalling and getting ready for the new school year. It's such an exciting time of new beginnings~sometimes I think I get more excited now than when I was a kid

Have a great weekend and keep up the good work!

[BHealthy]

Sksamboots - I teach kindergarten. It's not like the kindergarten of 20 years ago. In America we push, push, push kids to do more, more, more. So there are many of us doing our best to keep it developmentally appropriate for these little ones. They're expected to be reading by the end of K, computing, solving story problems, writing 3+ sentence paragraphs - it goes on and on. I need to just avoid this topic, though, because it gets me so riled up. Almost as riled up as No Child Left Behind does (we call it No Child Left with a Mind).

Tina - welcome to the forum. We can encourage each other. Have a terrific beginning to your new school year.

Well, I'm heading off to the pool.

[Ege Bamyasi]

NCLB has to be one of the most toxic unfunded mandates passed by the previous administration. It's nice that you're teaching Kindergarten and aren't as strongly affected by that whole mess.

I'm happy to hear that you're still finding time to use the pool, and that your scooter is a big help to you when you're at the school. It sounds like you're going to have a lot of fun this Fall and Winter working with those kids. I look forward to your stories about work, if you plan to post any.

[LauraA]

Oh Bea- rest those knees over the weekend - except when you are swimming! I'm thrilled that you teach kgarten, and thrilled with your attitude of not pushing the kids. I directed a small preschool for years (not day care), and I always taught the class of kids who were 5, but their parents didn't think that they were ready for what kgarten had become. I loved it - it was usually mostly boys, and the quiet little girls went on to kgarten. I still teach preschool in Tanzania for part of each year, and I love it . Of course there, we can play to our hearts content! I love your determination, and I'm really inspired by your journal. Take care, LauraA

[Letha.]

Hi Bea,
I’m glad you found a few minutes to catch us up on all your news. I’m sending you lots of positive energy for a wonderful school year for you and your students. Take care.
Letha

[Anna Green]

Bea, I am glad those kids have you. It's good to hear you saying you are going to the pool. I can only imagine how tired you must be after a room full of kindergarteners. Way to go! Makes me realize how lame my no exercise excuses can be.

[BHealthy]

I've been sticking with the eating but am too exhausted to go to the pool at night. The wonderful things about this week have been my delightful, challenging, and diverse little kindergartners. I love them already and want to be their teacher and do my very best for them so badly.

The terrible things about this week have been the difficulty of getting around, getting things done, the ever increasing fluids on my knees, thighs, ankles and rear end and the pain. I would also say the administrator at my workplace has been less than supportive, but he's got a lot on his plate as well, so that's that. He's not trusted by the staff so I know not to share personal stuff with him at all.

The PT is writing a letter to the insurance company to get an appropriate scooter. The one I bought is for a much smaller person, causes my knees to be in a bad position and can't do the outside stuff. Also it's squeaking and the seat is wobbling all over. Just not build for an obese woman of my size.

I know I'm losing weight - but the fluids keep building as I use the walker or can which I do mostly because I hate the look from the principal. I guess I should get a letter from the doctor to just put him in the mindset that this is for real for the whole school year.

Yesterday the PT tried to talk to me about taking disability - to be able to get the water off and be off my knees so they aren't further damaged and to have the time to exercise. I said NO WAY. He told me I cannot keep pushing through the pain because it's causing more damage. So I have so much hope that this new scooter will be the answer. I am just going to make it work. It will need to have some great baskets though. That's one reason I don't use the little scooter - no baskets and couldn't find any that fit it - and also getting around with doors etc. My school is like a maze with doors all over the place. 4 doors just to get from my classroom to the office/workroom areas...anyway that's the way it is there. And 6-7 doors to get to the gym for lunch or PE with the kids.

I am making myself go to my gym to swim today. Maybe if I wear dark sunglasses no one will notice me - sort of like hiding from the monsters by pulling the blankets over your head I guess. Oh, to h*ll with that. So they see me. Whatever. I'm swimming and then going home and repeating that.

It doesn't work to swim after work. Too incredibly exhausted. So it's going to be before work and I mean way before work. Luckily the pool opens at 5 so if I get there right at 5 ready to go they can let me in the pool door at ground level - I can get there and back plus the workout - in 1 hr 40 min I figure - if I use the cane. The walker will just take too long to get in/out of the car. If I leave by 7-7:15 I'll get to work on time which is a must.

So I'll do a test run today.

I've been eating on plan. Today I weigh 384 with all the fluids so I must really weigh less than that. It's discouraging not to see the scale drop down much - but I know I'm doing the right things with the eating.

Monday will be my 2 month goal. I was hoping to have lost 50 pounds by then as I did in the past every time I McDougalled on the regular plan but I doubt that will happen this time. I'm trying though, but could have tried harder with the exercising this week. I just was so tired.

That's all my news. Sorry I have been away for so long. Please don't give up on me. I'm sorry I haven't been to your journals in a long time, too. I do think of you and send good thoughts your way, though, when I am out in the world.

[Anna Green]

NO GIVING UP ON BEA ALLOWED! Hey, I am sure we are all glad you have joined us and that you are doing so well. You ARE doing well you know. The morning plan for exercise sounds good. Just keep plugging away. How long will it take to get the new scooter? Is there one you could rent until it comes?

Bea, kick the shame thoughts away. People at the gym ain't got nuthin on you girl. (sorry the teacher in you must cringe) Just be kind to yourself. Be an example to your kids of healthy- that's eating, exercising, and loving yourself. I know- hallmark channel sickly syrupy advise but still so true. I so wish my son had had you for a teacher his kindergarten year.

[Anna Green]

I just realized that you've lost 44 lbs- not the 50 but jeez Bea that's awesome and when the water goes it will be even more. Girrl, come on. You did good.

[sksamboots]

O Dearest, I would never give up on you . I'm so glad your here and when you don't I miss you and worry about you. I look forward to your post and your swimming adventures. Keep on keepin on