Dissolution's Solution

[nicoles]

nicoles Actually she IS a Gemini...

Get out! Well, I am opening up a call-in astrology service right now - who knew I had the "gift"?

She replied with "awwwwww ty for the information", doesn't sound promising, but was worth a shot.

I think ya done good - no way to know if she heard it, but it does not sound like an outright rejection, either.

Maybe you could buy YOURSELF the prettiest, glossiest, sexiest vegan cookbook you can find. Big full page color pictures of recipes. Then 'accidentally' leave it out on the coffee table for the wife to find. If she asks, tell her you bought it for yourself to get some ideas about seasoning and presentation and leave it at that. Bet she can't resist a peak.
Kate

This is brilliant, Katydid! I hope it works for you, DS, and I am trying it out with some of my own family as well, particularly with two relatives who are chronically ill foodies.

I noticed she looked very sad, so I knelt down next to her chair and put my arms around her. She begged me not to leave her, and I assured her I would do no such thing. Then she asked me to stop the diet, stop shrinking and to get fat again. Cause I was smaller now, I couldn't protect her. I gave her what assurances I could, but told her I would not stop eating this way. I told her she could get small and become a vegan like me, but she said she could never do it.

Oh dear. DS, you are a very sweet husband but how terribly unfair of her to ask those things of you! Yikes. I hope for both of your sake's she gradually sees the light.

[AlwaysAgnes]

I usually don't like to smell food first thing in the morning either, even oatmeal. But coffee, mmmmm. Love the smell of coffee any time.

Last night I asked husband why all his snacks stink. His evening "snack" last night was warmed up meat lovers pizza and hot wings. Ugh. Smelled like baby puke. I suppose I could be grateful he didn't choose smelly smoked oysters.

[Dissolution]

Just a quick note here. Getting ready to leave for NYC..I think. The wife had a blow up last night, cause my son and his girlfriend were planing on driving a separate vehicle. When pushed as to why, our son said that it was so that his GF didn't have to put up with the wife's cigarette smoking. Holy crap, you would have though he had told her it was because she smelled bad or something. She got really upset and said she wasn't going. Not sure how much better she is this morning.

They did an MRI on her Mom yesterday, they're pretty sure she has colon cancer. She's understandably upset about her Mom. I was trying to find dress pants to wear in NYC and everything in my closet looked ridiculously huge on me. So I went to town for emergency clothing. The pants in my closet were 48" to 52" waist. I wound up buying 44"s I also bought an XL shirt, not a 4XL or 3XL or even a 2XL. I tried on the clothes to show the wife when I got home, I guess she considered it "showing off" and I guess I was, so it pissed her off....What doesn't these days.

Tonight we're eating in Little Italy and tomorrow night we have booked at some Japanese place called MEGU? Looked like they a pretty good choice of vegan food.

I hope everyone has a good end to their week and I'll be back on Sunday...

[MixedGrains]

my son and his girlfriend were planing on driving a separate vehicle. When pushed as to why, our son said that it was so that his GF didn't have to put up with the wife's cigarette smoking. Holy crap, you would have though he had told her it was because she smelled bad or something.

Well, basically that's what he did tell her! It hurts because it's true: if you're not a smoker and not used to being around them, being trapped in a car with one is a hellish olfactory experience. Plus you need a shower afterwards just to get the smell out of your own hair. And fresh clothes.

Since your wife seems to be under a lot of stress about the ways in which you are changing, having her nose rubbed in the fact that her son is growing up/away (worrying more about his GF's comfort than his mom's feelings, even though it sounds like he tried valiantly to protect both) probably was just another push of the same buttons that have been tender lately.

[Dissolution]

Back from NYC, we had a very nice time. I'll give you guys the food diary version.

Thursday

Lunch: Quiznos on the turnpike. Veggie sub with guacamole, what the hell I'm on vacation.

Dinner: Little Italy, we ordered an anti-pasta platter, I ate the roasted peppers, eggplant, artichoke and a few olives. For the main course I had spaghetti with marinara sauce, it was very good.

Dessert: We stopped at an Italian bakery and had coffee. I had peach sorbet.

Friday

Breakfast: Everything bagel, toasted nothing on it.

Lunch: I went into Katz's Deli with everybody, looked over the menu and asked them if they minded if I left. They also noticed there was nothing for me to eat, so they didn't seem upset when I left. I walked around the block to a vegan place I had looked up earlier online.

I was a bit disappointed in the place, it was very small and very eclectic bordering on shabby. I grabbed a table and started looking at the menu. When the waiter came for my order, I explained that I had been vegan for 3 months and had never had tofu and wanted to know what he recommended. He looked confused, I swear I thought he was going to ask me where I got my protein. He suggested, the "soft organic tofu, shitake mushrooms, carrots and broccoli, szechuan sauce", which is what I ordered. It was good, the tofu was very "eggy" to me. The dish didn't really "wow" me, but it was very nice to look at a restaurant menu and actually have options. My Lunch was $10, Katz's was $70 for 3 people.

Dinner: We went to a VERY nice Japanese restaurant called Megu. For my appeteaser I had Dadachamame Edamame on Branches, it was very very good. Much sweeter than regular edamame. The presentation was also very nice. Here's a picture.



For my entree I had "Agedashi Tofu” with Mushrooms and vegetable fried rice. It was also very good. My wife had Kobe sirloin flambéed on hot river stone. I did taste her steak and it was quite good, she said it was the #1 best steak she has ever had. The presentation of this dish was also very good. Here's the picture.



Dessert: The wife was watching a food network show the other day and called me in to show me the #1 food truck, which was Wafels & Dinges. So while she was eyeing the $20 desserts at Megu, I pulled up the Twitter feed for the wafel truck and found they were only a short cab ride away, she jumped at the chance to go there for dessert. Ok I had a wafel, with spekuloos and it was amazing. The spekuloos topping is actually vegan, so that's health food right?

Saturday

Lunch: Stopped at some cafe on 5th and 58th. I had whole wheat pasta with marinara, roasted peppers, spinach and mushrooms. Was very good and inexpensive.

Snack: One of the main purposes of this trip was to go to Carlo's Bakery from the TV show "Cake Boss". I had a cookie as soon as we were done. It took 2 hours from the time we got in line until we had our order and were out the door. On the way home I ate a "lobster tail" very very good, but not as good as the wafel. I had one more cookie and a mini cannoli when we got home. It's sooo hard to resist this stuff.

I got on the scale this morning, hoping I hadn't gained too much. I had dropped a pound!! I guess it was all the walking.

I had no problem keeping up with our 21 year old son and his girlfriend. My wife had a much harder time, but I have to give her credit, she tried. I know there were many times where she was in much pain from walking or just standing, but she never complained even though I know how much agony high blood sugar and lots of walking and standing can cause. She's very stiff and sore today and she asked me how I felt, I told her I was fine. Maybe...sometimes, I think I can sense her making the connections to my health and this WOE.

It's good to be back home, to cook my own oatmeal for breakfast and make my own lunch. I do wish those pastries were not in the house though.

[Dissolution]

This was kind of fun. We went to IHOP tonight. And this is the order I placed.

"Yes, I would like the spinach and mushroom omelette, hold the hollandaise, cheese, and um can you also hold the egg?"

[AlwaysAgnes]

Welcome back, D!

First, gotta say I gagged when I saw that huge steak pic. Involuntary reflex? This is how much I've changed in a few years of not eating meat. Steak used to be one of my favorite foods. Maybe you'll develop a similar reaction over time. Maybe not. I don't know. (I watched Earthlings, so that kind of plays in the background of my mind when I think of eating meat.)

Tofu. I remember the first time I tried tofu. It was in a sukiyaki bowl. I thought is was horrid stuff--the soft texture mainly. I couldn't eat more than two bites of it. I didn't touch tofu again for almost a decade. Then I quit eating meat, and slowly tofu worked its way into my diet here and there. Now sometimes I crave it, and I don't even mind the softer forms (texture that's sort of like cooked egg white) that seem to be more typical at restaurants.

Carlos's Bakery. I can't imagine there's any cookie, cake or pastry on the planet that could make me stand in line for 2 hours. I hope it was an entertaining wait--jugglers or circus clowns or something.
I haven't developed a revulsion for sweets and pastries like I have to meat, though I find they're not as tempting as they once were. I don't feel compelled to eat them if they're in the house. I had a serious piggy cookie addiction at one point in time and could eat several a day. You know piggy cookies--those giant, thick, soft, not-too-sweet, Mexican molasses cookies? I can't remember the name in Spanish. I just call them piggy cookies. I love those things, but I never would have stood in line 2 hours for one. Now when I see them at the store and they whisper their sweet nothings to me, I just gently pat their fat piggy heads and tell them to hush. There's always tomorrow. Oh, crud. Now that song's stuck in my head.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQvbJ-spKuU Thanks a lot, Rudolph.

Again, welcome back, D. Remember, if things get too crazy, pat your pastries.

[bunsofaluminum]

I haven't developed a revulsion for sweets and pastries like I have to meat, though I find they're not as tempting as they once were. I don't feel compelled to eat them if they're in the house. I had a serious piggy cookie addiction at one point in time and could eat several a day. ... Now when I see them at the store and they whisper their sweet nothings to me, I just gently pat their fat piggy heads and tell them to hush. There's always tomorrow. Oh, crud. Now that song's stuck in my head.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQvbJ-spKuU Thanks a lot, Rudolph.

Again, welcome back, D. Remember, if things get too crazy, pat your pastries.

ROFLOL! funny funny post!

[fulenn]

This was kind of fun. We went to IHOP tonight. And this is the order I placed.

"Yes, I would like the spinach and mushroom omelette, hold the hollandaise, cheese, and um can you also hold the egg?"

Love it! That must have been a fun order to place.

Glad your trip to NY turned out so well.

Fulenn

[Dissolution]

I'm in vegan low-fat-whole-plant-eating hell tonight. Wife needed help with the Christmas baking this evening, her blood sugar was close to 500 so she wasn't feeling well. I have;

Bagged up a few pounds of peanut brittle
Bagged up a few pounds of chocolate covered English toffee
Made 10 pounds of fudge with walnuts
Made 10 pounds of fudge without nuts
Made 5 pounds of maple fudge
Melted caramel
Melted chocolate
Buttered fudge pans

I did wind up eating a lot of on-plan food this evening and very little of the sweets I was in constant contact with. I had a tiny piece of the first batch of fudge to make sure I had gotten the proper texture. I also tasted the toffee, I had a piece about the size of a pencil eraser.

On plan, I had oatmeal this morning, but wound up skipping lunch. I ate some left over rice-beans-mushrooms-peppers as soon as I got home. Then during the candy making I ate about 4 dates, my favorite. Then after I was done I cooked some mushrooms-shallots-garlic-ginger in vegetable broth and then added some kale at the very end, it was quite good.

Later still the wife asked me for mashed potatoes and cream-style corn. She wanted milk and butter in her potatoes, but this might have been a step in the right direction. So I made it for the both of us, I added no butter to the corn like she normally would have eaten, I did add a little to the potatoes and milk. I mashed my potatoes separate with soy milk and nutritional yeast.

I'm beat....Going to bed.

[MixedGrains]

Wife needed help with the Christmas baking this evening, her blood sugar was close to 500 so she wasn't feeling well.

Oh, man, I cringed in sympathy (with you and her both) when I saw that. Highest blood sugars I ever recorded were in the 250-300 range, and I felt purely crappy all the time then. She's gotta be miserable.

I know you've written a fair few anecdotes that make it plain your wife is scared of losing you as you change and get healthier. And it's clear you must love her, even when in her fear she's being what looks to an outsider to be incredibly hurtful. But that one line I quoted, with the juxtaposition of the baking and the blood sugar, just drove it home to me, how much you must be in fear of losing her, too.

I'm so glad there are signs -- even faint ones, even "two steps forward, one step back" ones -- that the power of your example may be having a positive effect on her.

[Melinda]

Good for you Dissolution - you did amazingly well in spite of all that temptation! Is your wife in the catering business? Just wondering about all the goodies to clients. Hopefully she will feel so crappy that she will eventually embrace your way of eating - there seem to be hopeful signs.

[Dissolution]

MixedGrains I've registered blood sugar of over 500 before. I've been above 400 enough times to know how bad it makes you feel. Right before I began this WOE I was above 300 most of the time, and felt like crap.

Melinda Last night I made brown rice with mushrooms and mung beans cooked in vegetable broth with some light spices. I offered her some, and much to my surprise she took some, not a whole meals worth, even though I made plenty, but more than a few spoonfuls. She tasted it, and asked if I thought it tasted good, I told her yes, she said it was pretty bland, I explained that I had planned to use Bragg Liquid Amino and nutritional yeast on mine, and I offered her a bite of mine, and she actually tasted it. Huge huge steps for her, I just got to be careful and not push too much too soon.

Oh yeah, all the treats are for Christmas gift boxes for the clients of our IT company, and also friend and family, but that's who the clients are that I speak of.

Tonight is "The Crucible". She's napping now, but will wake up at midnight and finish the cooking and I'll help her pack it all up in the morning. But right now, there's like 20 pounds of Chex mix on the dinning room table cooling off, fudge and cookies and all kinds of homemade candies.

I went on a preventative eating binge, I ate two kale-onion-humus-salsa-mustard wraps, and then two bowls of rice-mushroom-onion-bell pepper-tomato sauce stuff I made tonight. I figure it's better to do that, than to have room for all the bad stuff. I haven't over eaten like I just did, since I started this WOE, I'm feeling kind of sick actually.

She asked if I would make two of her candy recipes while she was sleeping, guess I go do that now.

[Dissolution]

I guess I'm human after all. I've survived cooking bacon, making fudge, having doughnuts eaten and moaned about in my face. I've smelled the pizza that gets delivered, and filet mignon cooking in the kitchen.

I did not survive making candy with piles of cookies and Chex mix at the table I was working on. The wife sure seems happy that I faltered. I'm getting the "Oh, I'm so sorry, is it my fault?" and "I can't change my life just because of your diet." comments. I guess I shouldn't have told her that the Chex mix was going to be the hardest for me to resist. She promised to get that done while I was at work. I guess disappointment in myself is showing up as anger towards the wife. She keeps asking me if I'm mad at her, I keep pawning it off as I'm just feeling bad, which is true of course, I just don't feel like fighting this morning.

Weight was actually up 5 pounds this morning, probably due to just the volume of food I ate yesterday and the salt causing water retention. Of course as an added bonus I feel like crap physically too. Stomach ache, head ache, I think my kidney hurts. McDougall's revenge?

Feels kinda of strange to be writing about something other than my recent success. Anyways enough regret and sorrow. Back to our regularly scheduled program.

[toadfood]

You've withstood so much temptation and provocation -- please don't beat yourself up about this. Just pick yourself up and get back on track, and you'll start to feel better.

I must say that if I had to put up with what you put up with, I would be a lot angrier than you sound. Your wife appears to be committing suicide by food, and she tries to force you to participate. You helped her -- surrounded by temptation -- because she wasn't well enough to get all this stuff done. And she's not well enough because she refuses to help herself. Just thinking about it makes me angry, and I don't have to live with it! Being forced to watch someone I love commit suicide would make me furious.

OK, calm down, toadfood. Sorry. Rant over. I'm glad you're here, and I know you will be able to report more wonderful progress very soon.