Buns Again

[bunsofaluminum]

Feeling really good. Two days in a row I have gotten into the pool for a half hour of zero impact aerobic activity. Never got my heart rate WAY up, but I moved my entire body and I feel very good. Everything feels more alive. But parts of me wanted to fall out the top of my new swimsuit! especially doing the side stroke...dang, girls! So to keep it decent I mostly trod water, and some front crawl, and numerous adjustments. I might wear a sport bra underneath, even though that'll look REALLY redneck. But that's okay, I already do look pretty redneck wearing my supportive sensible shoes to the pool. Seriously, a darling little cover up, a new, kind of flattering swimsuit, hair up in a claw, and my handy-dandy Merrell walkers laced up tight on my feet. It's a sight, lemme tell you. And I'll be doing it again this evening. But seriously, the shoes. I tried going with my cute slip ons and my foot simply needs the support. The mules weren't cutting it.

Great eating this week, after YET ANOTHER indulgent weekend. What can I say? My family throws parties. LOL my mom's birthday was Friday so we went out and I "feasted" then on Sunday we had a family bday party, because there are eight birthdays in May and June, so i "feasted" again. And came out of the weekend feeling sluggish and achy. But I've corrected a lot of that with super compliant foods, and yesterday's eating left me feeling light and energetic. Kelp Noodles. FTW. I'm gonna keep those babies around this summer. Salad! Soup! Yum!

My Fitness Pal is helpful, though I'm ignoring its advice on the carb intake, and I about gave it a coronary yesterday when my total intake was quite low...like, 850 calories when I was done with dinner. Because Kelp noodles have VERY low calories, yet are nicely filling. Satiating. So too bad, My Fitness Pal. I ate enough, because i wasn't hungry AT ALL. But My Fitness Pal wouldn't let me close my food diary for the day until I put an apple and some saltines on it. Got my cals to 1,100 and it was consoled.

so I'm going to continue with the calorie counting. It seems to be clicking for me. But the true test will be whenever the next family "feast" comes, or the camping in a couple of weeks. I'll have to pack foods I can eat.

[bunsofaluminum]

So, there's a yummy inexpensive Vietnamese sandwich shop in town, O Mai. It's been a favorite of mine since it opened, and they recently expanded so there is one near my work. I went and got a vermicelli noodle salad the other day, to go...OMG! there was SO MUCH OIL in it! I know fully well, because I've eaten their salads dozens of times and found no oil...but this time YUCK.

Don't know if it is this specific shop, or did I order something a bit different, since they have vegan and vegetarian versions of their pho, their bahn mi, and their salads (tofu vs. no tofu; beef broth vs. veggie broth, etc) ... maybe the non-tofu version next time. But dang! I got to the bottom of my to-go and found a PUDDLE of curried oil. Odd thing was, it wasn't noticeable as I ate it.

Anyway, I'm done eating out for lunch for a while. I only know the actual ingredients by actually making my actual food myself. Bringing my food fer now on.

[bunsofaluminum]

This is going to be TMI, just warning anyone who doesn't want to read about women's issues (and I mean that word in more than one definition)

So, a few days ago I felt a bit crampy, and thought it was indigestion. Simultaneously, there was some very light spotting on my panti-liner, which is nothing unusual. Though I'm in menopause, I've had spotting at "that time of the month" frequently. But yesterday morning there was more than just light spotting. And my indigestion felt like actual menstrual cramps. But I still didn't think much of it, other than to freak myself out a little bit Googling "post menopausal cramping" and found that it is one symptom of uterine cancer. Or endometriosis. Neither one of which I want.

Went through my day feeling like I'd been run over, but made it through okay. Talked about it a little bit with my feller, and got ready for bed. I said "It feels just like I've got my period" and then found TA-DAAAAH! I was actually BLEEDING. Not spotting. And it has been 18 months since my last monthly period. Took care of things, thankful that I hadn't tossed the box of pads, the box of tampons. They were tucked in the back corner under the bathroom sink. And then it hit me...a full blown menstrual period. With all the feminine hygiene products, including huge pad that stuck to my rear end and the tears started. Brushing my teeth, I saw how I was ugly crying, and it made me cry more. I was zuph-zuphing, sobbing. After 18 months to have a period was simply too much, and I couldn't NOT cry.

And nothing I did, nothing I thought about, nothing I said, worked to stop it. My belly ached badly, and I felt so horrid, and so VERY sorry for myself. Then Wylie told me to "relax" and said "it's not the end of the world". That was at about 9:30, and it did NOT help me stop crying. In fact, it was 1:00 am before I felt I could get in bed without disrupting his sleep. I think I said something about YOU bleed in pain every month for your entire life, and then RELAX when it slams YOU after more than a year without! right before grabbing my heating pad and going out to the front room to sit and sob...but honestly I wasn't angry at him. Just sad that he couldn't simply spoon me and try to soothe me a bit.

I wrote in my journal, took ibuprofen, ate banana not-ice cream with chocolate bourbon sauce and slivered almonds, watched Beat Bobby Flay, and cried. When I calmed down I went to bed and felt my uterus contract until I fell asleep.

This morning there was no blood anywhere, and emotionally I'm calmer, but still feeling physically gross.

However, on a positive note: I am wearing a favorite summer jacket that I couldn't fit over my beefy upper arms a few months ago something must be working. I also wore pale pink, one of my most flattering colors, and a dab of perfume. I may feel gross internally, but it helps to feel like I look good. And I made good food choices for today's lunch, though I was sorely tempted to stop for something junky...I really want Cheetos...but I have my cucumber for slicing, and my whole grain saltines when I need a mid-morning snack. We'll see how the rest of the day goes.

[moonlight]

Buns,
I hope you feel better today. I had the same thing happen after about 18 months. Seems like the cramps are much more intense and the hormonal turmoil is a beast! Lots of hugs to you!

[Anna Green]

you can come shopping in my fridge and freezer. All I have is chili and rice and a curry bean and veg dish. But it's yours!

[bunsofaluminum]

Hi Moonlight and Anna,

Thanks for dropping in Anna, your fridge sounds great! Curry beans and veggies? Count me in!

As for feeling better, Moonlight? Not really. The cramping has stayed all weekend, not as fierce as Friday, but Saturday morning I was rather non-functional until the ibuprofen kicked in. Then I got busy around the house. Took out my old memorabilia box...the one where I saved kids' art work and trophies, along with mementos from my life. And I found the cameo!

Here's the thing. When I got married (to my ex) my "something old" was a cameo that my great gramma owned. I pinned it to a ribbon around my neck and it was so beautiful and I loved it. And, because "with an ivory wedding gown" is literally the ONLY place I could wear it, I simply kept it, in its little chamois bag, in my jewelry box. Took it out once in a while, but mostly left it in there.

Then...it wasn't there anymore! We had moved and such, and I was so so SO sad thinking I'd lost it in the move. But life goes on and even though it was a beautiful, hand crafted, elegant, antique heirloom...it was stuff, and I have always held on very lightly to "stuff"... so though I wasn't happy with myself for losing it, I didn't let it eat me up.

Now here I was, 10 years later, going through my mementos box that I've randomly been tossing stuff into for many years, and I see this smaller cardboard box, taped shut. Well, I was excited. There were other things that I'd missed since the big move from Idaho to Utah, and this smaller box inside a box...could the dresser top mummy sarcophagus be in there? So I ripped the tape off, and sure enough...the mummy sarcophagus was there! Along with a tiny cloisonne box and a brooch with tiny tole painted roses on it. I started taking things out...my gramma's girl scout pins! My ex's class ring? And...

The cameo! It is carved from a shell, with a woman and a phoenix in SUCH detail! Every vein of every feather is distinct; the woman's curls, the flow of the fabric in her dress...and when you hold it up to the light, it looks like a sunset. My mom was very happy to hear that it had been found. though my research reveals that it was made post-1920's and possibly a very high quality plastic reproduction (due to the incredible level of detail that hand carving on shell is nearly impossible to achieve)...

And the other sweet memories packed in that box...love notes and cards from "the love of my life" (aka a fling in Autumn/Winter of 2013/14 that spun me right up and over the moon. I think fondly of Tom quite often. What a great time we had together!) and homeschooling stuff from a Medieval Feast we hosted. Abbie's dress she wore as a baby flower girl. My T-shirt design from a summer camp when I was 16 MY DESIGN WON! I mean, talk about a time capsule. It was a terrific couple of hours, rummaging through the memories of a lifetime. And the great bonus was, I was all alone in my own apartment for the entire day. That was real nice.

and though I had some off plan treats for the Doobies/Steely Dan concert, the calorie counting was at the back of my mind, and I maintained control for all of them. Kettle Corn, caramels, and burnt peanuts. Quite a bit smaller portions than I've ever done (except when I opt not to have them at all )

It was a good, in-control weekend with lots of sweetness to it.

[moonlight]

Buns, that just sounds so lovely! I'm happy for you! Isn't it so wonderful when life throws you a bone and your world brightens up. Sounds like you really tapped into a box of treasures.

[bunsofaluminum]

Thanks Moonlight, it really is a treasure. I'm SO GLAD I found that smaller taped up box inside my big "memorabilia" bin. I have a small collection of dresser top boxes, and there are several of those packed away that haven't seen the light of day in almost 15 years. When we move in August I want to find room to display some of these.

The cameo is back in its place in my jewelry box I also put the little tole painted items in there.

So, food. Is one of the tricks of this way of eating to make food boring? Now stick with me, because generally speaking I enjoy the food on this plan, but lately it's been ho-hum. But is that a bad thing? Not every meal has to be extravagant, not every morsel I place between my lips must be elixir of the gods. It's okay to eat food JUST for fuel; it is OKAY not to eat for pleasure. But boy howdy am I cranky about it. Last night's open faced kale/lemon samwich...ugh. I ate it, and felt satiated, and geez it wasn't very tasty.

The dal and rice at lunch was good I suppose. But there's a passel of rice and beans in the fridge that is looking less and less appealing. Maybe I'll freeze that and add it to soup some time. I made Thai Curried Rice and brought some for lunch. woot.

Another thought that rambled through my head recently was how crav-y I got for Reese's miniatures, back when I first started, after I'd been really solid for about nine months. I planned a "feast" for the Easter after I started. I really really wanted some Reese's, so I had some and DANG that triggered me...to the tune of more than a month of indulging in all kinds of high fat candy and other sweets, quickly putting on at least 10 lbs and a jeans size.

So how, after months of pretty much 100% compliance (that "hyper-focus" thing), did I still crave...and I am talking CRAVINGS like anxiety and stress...wanting them, telling myself "Wait until Easter", even kind of aching for them...why hadn't my tastes changed enough to turn off that strong craving? and of course, since I'd been so "good" on this "diet," and had lost mucho poundage, I "deserved" a "treat."

Is that why? Was I functioning in diet mode all that time? And what does it mean for this being not a diet but a Way Of Life? Currently I'm a bit bored with the food and cranky about it...so maybe that means I don't need or even want to eat as much because...BOOORRING...which being obese, and having been obese most of my adult life, minus those five years when I was "merely overweight"...Well, let's just say, I never have been bored with food. Food has been my steadfast companion, my comfort and my solace; it is to food I have habitually turned in anxiety, joy, boredom, fear, anger, gladness, fellowship. I've eaten when celebrating and when sorrowful. I have eaten when healthy, and when ill. I have joked "Wonder what I'll have to eat when I'm on my death bed" ... and today, yesterday, the day before, I am bored with food.

Okay, let's also point out that in my cranky boredom with the allowed McDougall foods, I can't think of anything outside of compliant foods that is appealing, either. I did have a brief hankering for a scrambled egg samwich yesterday, but cruelty to chickens stopped me. When I was fixing today's lunch I thought "maybe I should go out for lunch" but nothing sounded worth the cost of eating out. I haven't been wanting anything sweet; creamy this or that isn't appealing (mostly because I'd have to fix it myself, since it seems that creating a creamy saucy food without fat is impossible for restaurant chefs or convenience food manufacturers).

In short, I'm bored with food, and even the usually appealing trifecta of salt, sugar, and fat isn't calling my name.

That's different. I guess we'll see if it lasts

[Anna Green]

you ok otherwise?

[bunsofaluminum]

you ok otherwise?

Yeah, I'm doing great, Anna. Feeling energetic and alert. It's very strange for me to be bored with food

Okay, so I've been posting my meals on My Fitness Pal, which has a nifty little pie chart showing the macro nutrients of the foods you eat. You touch the item, and it shows you how much carb, protein, and fat in that particular food. So, yesterday I added a pinch of slivered almonds to my oatmeal, for texture, and about 1 TBSP of peanuts to my Thai curried rice, for umame. And then I looked at the pie chart for them.



Can we just agree that nuts are NOT a protein snack? They are a fatty snack. Period. And I won't be adding such things to my meals again any time soon. My new minor calorie counting practice really is helping with food choices. That's all there is to it. One of the reasons I love McDougalling is that you don't need to count specific calories. I mean, after all...major pain, amiright? But it is a useful temporary tool to get some control especially over my weekends. And look what I learned (that I actually did know, but have been ignoring): nuts are FAT. Nuts are a FEAST FOOD not a daily nibble, not a random snack food.

[keithswife]

you ok otherwise?

Yeah, I'm doing great, Anna. Feeling energetic and alert. It's very strange for me to be bored with food

Okay, so I've been posting my meals on My Fitness Pal, which has a nifty little pie chart showing the macro nutrients of the foods you eat. You touch the item, and it shows you how much carb, protein, and fat in that particular food. So, yesterday I added a pinch of slivered almonds to my oatmeal, for texture, and about 1 TBSP of peanuts to my Thai curried rice, for umame. And then I looked at the pie chart for them.



Can we just agree that nuts are NOT a protein snack? They are a fatty snack. Period. And I won't be adding such things to my meals again any time soon. My new minor calorie counting practice really is helping with food choices. That's all there is to it. One of the reasons I love McDougalling is that you don't need to count specific calories. I mean, after all...major pain, amiright? But it is a useful temporary tool to get some control especially over my weekends. And look what I learned (that I actually did know, but have been ignoring): nuts are FAT. Nuts are a FEAST FOOD not a daily nibble, not a random snack food.

This explains a lot. I've been adding a little bit of walnuts and peanuts to my diet to boost the protein. No wonder my weight was creeping up. Bummer, as I really love nuts

[Rosey]

I used to use my fitness pal now days I'm using Samsung Health that came on my phone.

[bunsofaluminum]

This explains a lot. I've been adding a little bit of walnuts and peanuts to my diet to boost the protein. No wonder my weight was creeping up. Bummer, as I really love nuts

Keithswife, yeah...I found that happening back in the day, when I had a craving for peanut butter. I ate some by the spoonful several days in a row, and BAM the pounds started creeping up! And nut milks, as well. Almond milk on my granola slowed the weight loss right down. When I quit using it, and put apple juice on my granola instead (which is yummy, BTW)...the weight started dropping again.

If you want to boost protein, beans are the way to do it. Nuts really aren't a protein snack. And besides protein is highly overrated in our culture. Everyone thinks it is the only important macro, and it IS important, but it also is plentiful in ALL PLANTS. Kale, for instance, has more protein than egg.

I love nuts, too. If there's a can of salted/roasted in the house...well, I can't have them in the house But Dr M points out that at Christmas time, in shell, nuts are a tasty treat. He points out "Nuts are in hard shells for a reason"...because they aren't meant to toss in our mouths by the handful.

anyway, all that to say, I stayed up late last night and ended up having a few potato chips while I sat and watched TV. Wylie went to bed very ill, and I didn't want to disturb him, so I sat up. See? Sometimes having junk food in the house isn't a great idea, EVEN THOUGH I walk past it repeatedly. But, I must say in my own defense: I had like 10 chips. Not a binge. This is a step in the right direction.

So, Wylie got some kind of stomach thing, tossed his breakfast before lunchtime and came home from work. Tossed the three saltines that he ate, about 20 minutes after eating them. Tossed the gatorade, tossed the otter pop...IOW, Wylie kept nothing down all day yesterday, and today it's coming out the other end Ugh. And this weekend we have a space reserved for our RV at a KOA in Lava Hot Springs Idaho. But now I'm feeling it, damitol! Here's hoping the KOA can refund my first night's reservation.

[bunsofaluminum]

Went "camping" and OH BOY was it wonderful! Our first time taking out the new-to-us RV and found out it gets about 7 mi to the gallon (and changed our plans to drive up to Oregon in August ) but I had a terrific time. It felt so good to be outdoors! even though we didn't go to an actual mountain campsite, but instead parked it at a KOA in a sweet little resort town Lava Hot Springs, ID and got over to see old friends who own a rustic B&B of sorts and walked into town (and now my foot and both knees hate me but oh, well)

When we got the RV, I had to pretty much haul myself up the steps using a handle on the outside of the door, because knees? but by the second day, I was going in and out without any trouble. Now...going DOWN...I can't really do that on my right knee, but going in was a breeze. So now I know the truth of "Use it or lose it"

I wasn't super active, nothing like I wanted to be, but more than I have been lately. I have really let my knees and my aching foot keep me down, literally. But the outdoor air, and the fact that we were somewhere besides the smallness of our lives in the city (Small apartment; small work cubicle) energized me and yes my foot was telling me about it, but I ignored it and did what I wanted. And it felt SO good! My friend's property, where her daughter (my daughter from another mother) runs a rustic B&B, https://www.bristolcabins.org/ is right across the bridge from the KOA where we parked, so I walked over there on Saturday morning, in a lovely light rain and visited, had brekkie and did some art, and saw the garden that my son from another mom planted. Harvested some radishes and coated my shoes with lovely thick mud, (that was SO nice, getting dirty, bending over and pulling plants, washing them, getting my feet wet, munching a radish, then walking back to the RV again. Kicked back with Wylie on the awesome anti-gravity camp chairs he bought for us aahhhhh THAT was amazing! Under a willow tree the prettiest color of green, listening to the birds and some ATV that others had brought and were running up and down the campground gawd I wish they hadn't, but whatevs. I felt too dang good to be terribly cranky about it.

In the evening we walked into town and soaked in the hot pools for a little while, then had dinner at a Thai place. No lie, the owner is from Thailand, and he runs a restaurant in tiny little Lava Hot Springs, population 400 (weekend population 4,000 ) ! And the food was DELICIOUS. It was a stir fry featuring slivered lemongrass, strips of bell pepper, onion, tofu and a lovely thin salty broth/sauce. Over rice? Yum! and then walked home along the river. Sat up and visited some more with my girl...they came over to see the RV and chat. And I slept like a log! which I didn't do, Friday night. And, got to feeling a little bit at home in the RV. I want to go somewhere for another weekend this summer, maybe to the Uintas.

So...when my knees and foot hurt, and I remain sedentary, my strength declines. When my knees and foot hurt, I am active and moving around anyway, I get stronger, very quickly. I was surprised and delighted that I could go in and out of the RV without having to grab the handle or anything else. It was really nice, just stepping up and in. Use it or lose it, people. I've found some good non-weight-bearing exercises and am going to start being consistent with them. Period. But honestly, I can't walk as my main exercise. My poor foot

Now, on to another interesting happenstance. Wylie got super sick on Thursday afternoon. Tossed his cookies like five times, and had intestinal distress. I expected to get sick, but only had some slight nausea on Friday. We almost didn't go up to Idaho, but he felt better enough by the end of the day Friday, that we decided to do it. And he didn't throw up anymore, and the diarrhea stopped. We had our weekend in Lava, and drove back home after breakfast yesterday. We got to my mom's (which is where we park the RV) and she was still in her jammies at 3:00 pm.

"No church today?" I asked. And she said "Guess who got violently ill"... So, Wylie, the person I am closest to in the world, and my mom whom I am probably second closest to, both got the same illness. And I, who have been with them, and really WITH Wylie got a mild wave of nausea for part of one day? He looked at me as I hauled stuff from the RV to our car. "How come you didn't get sick?"

Hmmm, maybe because I take super good care of my gut biome, my immune system is very strong? Hmmmm? I mean, the flu swept through my workplace this past winter and literally EVERYONE got sick, and my team lead got sick over and over again. And people did NOT stay home with their germy little selves. No. They brought it to work with them. And I did NOT get sick. Now mind you, a couple of times I felt the beginnings of illness, and when that happened I immediately flew into action: zinc lozenges and oregano oil. But I also just didn't feel that initial tickle of the throat but twice.

Thank goodness for Dr McDougall! thank goodness for a friend who gave it a try and recommended it so many years ago, and thank goodness it came to mind first when I got thinking about what diet I wanted to follow when I knew I needed to lose weight in '09...I chose McDougalling because of the energy when I went for it the first time. Oh man, it feels good to be healthy.

and, now that I'm tracking calories and reining things in quite nicely on weekends, I'm thinking the pounds will start falling away. Haven't got on the scale though. I might, once my boobs start shrinking

[bunsofaluminum]

I used to use my fitness pal now days I'm using Samsung Health that came on my phone.

Heh...I just looked at the health feature on my iPhone and found a step counter! I've had this phone for over a year and now I find it. Wow! Our weekend out "camping" I walked 8,222 steps, for 2.9 mi total on Saturday! no wonder my ankle hurt but DANG! how cool is that. Thanks for the tip, Rosey.