lfwfv's journey: MWL, GF

[debable]

I am so glad you are doing better. I guess there is a reason people turn to starches as comfort food. There is nothing better than feeling comfortable and nourished. Keep us informed on how you are doing. You are such an inspiration. Have a great day and be good to yourself,fill up on starches.

[raven]

Good going! I hope your headway will continue and expand so that eating well is easy for you.
Raven

[lfwfv]

Thanks for stopping by Debable and Raven I'm doing pretty well. I have been eating tons of starches, fewer veggies, and so far I am not craving any inflammatory food.

I am hopeful that I am able to keep this up. My only concern is that I keep eating until I'm very full. I try to stop earlier, but I just can't feel mentally satisfied until I've eaten a lot of food. I'm hoping this will just even itself out and I am doing my best to not restrict or freak out about it.

Have a great day everyone!
lfwfv

[lfwfv]

Thanks for the thoughts Debbie. My gut feeling is that my overeating has more to do with restriction, cycles of starving/stuffing, and also possibly needing to allow myself to eat more starches and less veggies. My instincts tell me that it is my body trying to fit in more calories...I could be wrong, but I think for now, I am going to try that out.

My biggest priority right now is avoiding foods that hurt me (anything that's not on my list of non-inflammatory foods). At this point in time, if that means stuffing myself with non-inflammatory foods so that I'm full/satisfied and don't crave the foods that hurt me, then that's what I think I need to do.

I may also consider limiting my fruit to 2 per day since I do easily eat 5-8 portions! I may limit them and see if starches might be more satisfying. I read a post today by veganmothering who mentioned that she did this and it helped her regulate her appetite a bit. I think i will try it today and see how I do.

I think McDougall's original MWL plan may work very well if I stop trying to manipulate it! I think I have overdone it on fruits and veggies and short-changed the starches and I think I need to listen to his advice a bit better, try it out without manipulation, and see if it works to regulate my appetite, satisfy me, and help me maintain my weight (rather than continue to lose when I'm already underweight).

I also feel like I'm still working at getting the rest of my life more balanced...resting and regaining energy, playing, having more fun, spending more time with people. It's all working together.

Being on these boards more lately is helping me.

[bunsofaluminum]

Hey there

just a quick peek in. It looks like you're doing pretty good, overall. You're getting a handle on it, for sure!

[lfwfv]

Thanks for popping in Buns! I spy on your journal sometimes

I had another pretty good day. I have been eating only my safe foods for 5 days now and my skin is finally starting to heal a bit!!

My intestines are still a mess. I figured out a few days ago that this is very likely the result of some gluten i ingested a while back. I've been experiencing so much bloating, insatiable appetite when I do eat, extreme fatigue, acne....finally started wondering if it was related and did some searches on the celiac forum. Turns out some gluten reactions can last weeks and can include all of the above symptoms!

So, my plan is to keep on keeping on with the safe foods that will help my body heal itself (it's done it before and I know it can again) and to allow myself to rest when I need to. I already feel a bit better energy-wise, but my stomach is still painfully bloated (even 12-14 hours after having eaten). Oh well, the price I pay for having ingested gluten.

I am having some cravings for vegan/gluten free cookies, despite feeling as if I'm eating enough starches, but I am not giving in because I really really want to heal my body. I have told myself I can eat 6 bananas if I want to, but that I need to avoid inflammatory foods. I think the cravings might be due to the gluten reaction...

I also think I will probably give up on restricting the fruit to 2 pieces for today. My diet is already so limited, and I don't think I need to cause myself to potentially feel deprived because I'm trying to live up to some ideal. I'm underweight as it is, so a bit of extra fruit probably won't hurt. Maybe, when I feel more stable, i will consider trying to limit it again.

I enjoyed the day today...relaxing, productive, church this morning, cooking and food prep for the week, a nice long walk with my wonderful husband (instead of my usual run...my energy is just not high enough to move quickly right now), and got the grocery shopping done.

Have a good night everyone
lfwfv

[raven]

Hi lfwfv. Sunday sounds like it was a pretty good day for you. I'm glad... you need a lot of good days!

My husband had celiac disease, and also chronic fatigue syndrome, so i know something of what you're going through. It seems to take a long time to heal from the years of damage from eating gluten. Many people i read have come to feel completely great, though, so there's hope.

Although they are not low fat, here are two vegan gluten free blogs i read:

http://glutenfreegoddess.blogspot.com/

http://iamglutenfree.blogspot.com/

I find their recipes easily adaptable to MP cooking, when you're ready to try that.

Take care, and stay well!
Raven

[lfwfv]

Thanks for the links Raven, I will check those out when I have some time. Today was a pretty good day. Still all safe, non-inflammatory foods.

I felt a bit unsatisfied after eating today. i was full and really didn't want to eat more food, but my appetite still feels unsatisfied. I just really want to try breaking out of the overeating cycle, but my body seems to be fighting me (possibly due to the gluten poisoning affects). So far, I have put off eating more.

My plan is to eat some yams, fruit and veggies if I just can't take the nagging thoughts of food anymore, but I'm hoping I can go to bed and forget about it.

I think my energy is slowly improving. I traded my last 2 runs in for long walks, but I am hoping I might feel up to trying a run tomorrow AM. We'll see.

My acne and rashes are showing marked improvement, so i think the nutrient-dense, non-inflammatory foods are doing their job. Still quite bloated though.

I look forward to the day where I feel bloat-free, clear-skinned, and energy-filled. It's been several weeks in a row of feeling the opposite. It's amazing how sensitive my system has become...a few inflammatory foods, a bit of gluten and I feel the effects throughout my body, mind, and psyche for weeks.

have a good night and thanks for your support!
lfwfv

Ended up eating more food before bed...just could not get food off my brain because I felt so unsatisfied. I stuffed myself full of yams, fruit and veggies. Although I wish I didn't have to eat that much in order to feel satisfied, I am agreeing with the fact that my priority is health and that I may need to eat a lot right now in order to avoid eating on inflammatory foods. Also, the gluten poisoning may be increasing my appetite and I am trying to accept that. The other issue of course, is that I'm underweight and my body may be trying to put some weight on. I hate that

[debable]

Your body probably is trying to put on weight. keep doing what you are doing, eating when hungry,stopping when satisfied and your body will bring you back to your ideal weight. have a great day.

[lfwfv]

Quick check-in tonight. It's been one week of safe, non-inflammatory MWL foods. Starting to feel much better. I even did my usual almost-4-miles run this AM. Starting to feel mentally and physically better. Still a bit fatigued, still having intestinal issues, still feeling crazy-empty-unsatisfied at times, but overall much much better. Yeah! Thanks for the reassurance Debable.

Have a good night
lfwfv

[raven]

Hi lfwfv. Time, and healthy food, can heal so much. I am so happy you are feeling better.

When i was a teenager, i went through a long difficult time where i just couldn't eat very much, and i wonder if i at all understand where you have been... most of my adult life, i have thought food was wonderful,
but for a few years, it was just something i had to do that was difficult. I had an ulcer, too, and this was before they knew now to cure them. I had to be real careful what i ate, because the stomach aches were unbearable.

Anyway, one thing i know is that it's hard to eat too much or too little, and i compassionately support you as you get a handle on what you need to eat - and not eat.
Raven

[lfwfv]

Thanks for checking in Raven, and for your empathy.

I had a hard day today. i felt very tired which frustrated me because I was feeling better yesterday. I was fighting to get my daily work done.

I didn't have the energy to run, but I did get in a really nice long walk with my husband this evening which was great.

Food was very difficult, but I am overall pleased with the choices I made. I felt hungry this afternoon and ate, felt very full after but kind of wanted more food. I didn't want to stuff myself more because my belly already felt distended and bloated (partially from lots of food, partially as a remnant of the gluten poisoning still) and I had to go to work. So, I thought I'd go to work, be distracted and forget about the craving...I was sure i had eaten enough to meet my body's needs.

As soon as I finished work (and even somewhat while I was working), all i could think of was 'food'!! I really tried to convince myself to avoid eating more because I felt I shouldn't be needing more.

On the way home, I went to the grocery store to get a few things we were out of. I was doing battle in my mind the whole time: "I want to eat", "no, you don't need more, you already probably ate way too much already", "you're getting fat on yams and veggies and fruit! stop eating!", "maybe I'll just buy some food I want so I can feel satisfied", "may as well just go and mess up everything i've done this whole week"...

I almost bought gluten free, vegan cookies, raw nuts, corn tortillas....calorie-dense foods which would satisfy me, but foods that I knew would inflame my intestines and skin again.

I've been totally free from all of these inflammatory foods for 8 days now and I didn't want to mess up, reverse, or slow the healing I've experienced in my body. Every time I eat even a bit of inflammatory food, i pay for it for days or weeks.

So, I finally decided to avoid all of the inflammatory foods that I was being tempted to eat, and I promised myself I could eat all i wanted to when I got home.

And I did eat. I ate tons of fruit, veggies, and quinoa. I ate until I was stuffed and wished I didn't need to, but i was finally satisfied.

I expressed my frustration to my husband when he got home...I said I hated myself, I felt so stuffed and crazy, and that I avoided the inflammatory foods. And he cheered. He said I did great in feeding my body good foods and in avoiding the ones that hurt me. He is an amazing man. Just what I needed

I am realizing that the reason I almost gave in and ate the inflammatory foods today was because I was trying so hard to avoid eating more food at all. I really think I thought that if I ate more food, any food, that i would have 'failed'. I feel fat, bloated, over-filled, and like I am eating so so so many calories right now. I only get hungry once per day because every time I eat, I eat so much food in order to feel satisfied. I try breaking this cycle by eating less, but I just eventually end up eating more to feel satisfied and so I can stop thinking of food. I'm sure this weird-o eating cycle has a lot to do with the gluten poisoning I'm recovering from, and also possibly from being underweight. Still hard to accept though...

I have learned a lesson from this. Right now, the priority is cleaning up my body and eating only the foods that will help me and heal me. I know what those foods are and I know I need to stick with those foods only. I *cannot* also try to in any way restrict my intake. When I start telling myself to avoid eating more, or to stop eating before I'm satisfied, I set myself up to feel deprived, and maybe even genuinely hungry and I risk eating inflammatory foods in a fit of panic.

So, I am trying very hard to have only one goal right now: eat only my non-inflammatory whole foods; to control the "what" of my eating, not the "how much".

If that means bingeing on veggies, fruit, quinoa, and yams right now, so be it. It's more important that I'm eating the right foods than it is that I'm controlling the amounts.

I am hoping my appetite for food will also regulate itself as my system continues to heal and I regain energy and possibly weight.

I came very close to falling off the cliff today, but I hung on tight and realized what I need to do to ensure that I'm not walking so close to the edge anymore. I need to allow myself to eat freely of my safe foods!

Phew, hard day...hopefully lesson learned.
lfwfv

[raven]

Hi lfwfv, Whew! Close one! Some days are just really hard and all you can do is get through them and hope for things to improve. You did well! I hope you feel proud.

It's hard when the foods that are calling our names so loudly are the ones that make us sick.

I am glad you made it through the day. May tomorrow be easier.
Raven

[lfwfv]

Just checking in. All safe, non-inflammatory foods today with no problems. For my first meal, I felt satisfied before I was stuffed. That felt great! For my second meal, I ate quite a bit and then my stomach felt super full and stretched and I am sitting her feeling quite fat. I am trying not to dwell on it and to continue to wait for my body to heal. I'm still feeling bloated and tired from the gluten and I'm waiting for everything to return to normal (skin, digestion, bloat, energy, appetite regulation). I know it is getting better every day, and my skin is getting noticeably healthier which feels good. Patience and perseverance...

Take care
lfwfv

[bunsofaluminum]

Hi

I like what you said the other day about realizing that you can't restrict your intake of the foods that are good for you. I'm glad you didn't eat the inflammatory stuff, but I'm REALLY glad that you aren't shaming yourself or down on yourself when you still feel hungry and then EAT.

It surprised me when I first started, how much more food I was eating to get full, but it regulated. Or, maybe, it just seems normal now. But I've eaten until solid full for every meal, not restricting my intake at all, and keep on losing. (when I eat things like nuts and off plan nibbles, I stop losing. When I'm compliant, the weight slips off like anything.)

keep on going. I'm happy for you, that your health problems seem to be turning around. yay!