Journal of my journey

[Morris]

November 14,2017

Second time for this post. I got distracted when I was doing by first and it must have timed out because when I finished my first half of the post, I was taken to the log in screen. Just as well, I was not very positive in my last post.

I am feeling bloated, but then I am eating more bread than usual. Sometimes I like a couple of pieces of toast when I am too lazy to cook and it seems I am too lazy to cook.

Ha! Not really, I made a batch of Pinch of Yum's Best Detox Crockpot Lentil Soup. The ingredients are: onion, carrot, celery, potatoes, butternut squash, lentil, broth. However, the blogger that posted the recipe has no idea of what a detox is or foods to eat. She topped hers with parmesan cheese and suggested one add ground beef or lamb to the dish. And this is a detox recipe??? Clickbait. I only went to the recipe because someone posted it elsewhere and since I had some butternut squash to cook, I decided to make some.

It turned out well, but it was really weird in that in smelled and tasted like beef stew. No beef in my pot and yet it had that smell. I figure it must be that the squash gave it an earthy smell.

I helped my daughter prepare some freezer meals. She is trying so hard to make home-cooked meals for her and the kids. Her SO is a processed food junkie and offers no support and often he won't even eat the home-cooked meal and opts for some frozen item instead. I have made a traditional holiday meal in the past and invited them. He stopped at McDonalds on the way so he wouldn't eat my meal. He thinks we eat weird, even though I cater to his preference when I ask him over. But then, when we first met him, I offered him a salad and he said it was the first time in his life he ate a salad. 30 years old and never ate lettuce. Incredible.

My weight is holding, but I need to tweak what i am eating if I want to reach one of those ideal weights I posted before. I am aiming for the higher of them 132.6. Couple pounds to go, but since it is so little to lose and I go off plan so much, it's going to be a long way to go. But, I'll see if I can stick with it.

I am doing a yes.fit virtual race, 155.1 miles and I have a best goal of finishing it by the end of the year. That is what will be my saving grace for not gaining weight over this holiday season. I am hoping to outrun my bad diet just to stay even.

[Morris]

Nov 20, 2017

Just a couple days shy of my journal's 3 year anniversary and I am still hovering just under my first goal weight, which by the way, is the weight I was in my high school and early adult years (20's and 30's). I wish it was as easy to maintain my weight now as it was back then. ~sigh~

What I am learning is for me to maintain and/or lose weight, I need to just focus on the whole food plant based and eliminate the processed stuff. So much of the processed stuff has so much junk in it that I am not sure it can even be called food anymore. I bought the latest edition of OnFitness Magazine and there is an article that suggests we beware of the Natural Flavor Deception, that describes the word "natural" isn't really as natural as we think it is. But the article ends with what I have been thinking for years:

"In her 2001 book, The Crazy Makers,clinical nutritionist Carol Simontacchi writes, "Our food choices are contributing to degenerative diseases like obesity, cancer, diabetes and heart disease. Maybe it's time that we explore the possibility that these major food processing companies are killing us."

That seems to be a common thought here among those on this board and other whole food plant based people. We need to wake up and take charge of what we are putting in our mouths.

My sister and I were talking about trying to find a church that we like and she mentioned that she went to one that was geared toward those with addictions and how the message was specifically for those recovering from addictions. She was saying that she couldn't really relate because she never had an issue with drugs or alcohol. I replied that I have a sugar, junk food addiction. She thought I was a bit on the crazy side.

Hubby is now home from deer camp and now I am struggling with negativity again. I swear, the man brings out the worst in me. I need to reread Potatoes Not Prozac. In that book, there is one who does not accept responsibility for his actions and blames others for his faults -- describes my hubby to a tee. Food choices can determine how one thinks about one's behavior. I find this to be so true. I need to stay off the processed crap so that I can maintain a positive outlook, because I do think more positively when I eat healthy and stay away from the crap.

What I have been eating these past few days has been crap, crap and more crap. I am ready to start again. (How many times have I said that?) I have not given up, it's a struggle, but I am still getting back to the program. At least I did not do too much damage to my weight effort through this binge. I actually did resist temptation often, but gave in to certain foods.

On the positive, staying with this WOE and not giving up, has really helped influence others: our youngest daughter wants to eat more home cooked meals and stop eating so much processed item. My friend bought a copy of the China Study and said she wants to start eating better. My mom said that she is slowly trying to get away from adding butters and such to food so she can get used to eating food plain. So, I may not be perfect but I am still making progress toward a whole food plant based no oil way of eating. I still have to work on the no salt and no sugar part of it. Staying away from overly processed foods makes it easier to reach those little milestones on the journey.

[Morris]

November 21, 2017

Just a quick post. After lunch yesterday, we went to town to do some errands. After a few stops, I got some gas which gives away a bag of popcorn. I grabbed a bag on the way out, you know, just in case I got hungry. Fortunately, I was not hungry because I ate a good lunch before we left:
mixed greens with onion, cucumber, green pepper and sunflower seeds
broccoli
butternut squash
curried vegetables (potatoes, onion, carrot, celery, bell pepper, peas)
black lentils

Hubby asked if he could have some popcorn and I replied that I didn't care. He then proceeded to eat the whole bag of popcorn. He also had a chocolate candy bar. Then he remarked that he was kind of hungry. I thought, "Next, he is going to suggest going out to eat." To my surprise, when we finished our errands he suggested we go home. What, no restaurant suggestion?! Awesome!

At home I made a batch of corn chowder, and served it over mixed greens:
Ingredients for soup: onion, carrot, celery, red and green bell pepper, potatoes, (flour to thicken), cashew/hemp milk for the 'cream', and nutritional yeast. Seasoned with a bay leaf, thyme, pepper, salt and a bit of "better than bouillon" ----so much better than a restaurant meal.

[Morris]

November 23, 2107

Happy Thanksgiving! Today I updated my weight on the ticker I have and my starting weight stood out. Since i started this journal, I have lost over 15 pound. Granted that is only 5 pounds a year, but I am in my maintenance stage, unless you want to count me getting down to the "ideal" weight.

I am thankful for this resource that Dr. McDougall has provided. Going whole food plant based has helped me tremendously over these past few years. Lately, my meals are definitely starched based, mostly potatoes and squash, because I planted a starch based garden this year.

[Morris]

November 26, 2017

I weighed myself this morning and was pleasantly surprised that I dropped just a bit more. I am in those final stages of can I lose any more or not? I am finding that if I stay compliant and not eat the junk then it seems to be easy to lose the weight. I still have the goal of reaching those "ideal" weight numbers. I am close to the Miller Formula number.

I am noticing that I feel better when I weigh less; I have more energy. It's a good feeling.

I often look at my husband and see how much pain he is in and cannot help but wonder if he'd feel better if he'd just get up and move more and lose some weight. I know that I have less aches and pains since I lost weight. I also have less aches and pains when I avoid the junk food.

Sometimes seeing other people and their issues are my motivation to stay with my exercise program. Thursday, I did a local Turkey Trot (5k), but I signed up for a virtual (10k). So, when I returned home, I went out for another 5k. Yesterday, my running schedule had a long run. So, I hopped on my treadmill and ran 6 miles. I got a bit tired that last mile, but I kept thinking that it was not as hard as it used to be in the past to do that distance.

I may not be fast, but at least I am moving. That is what is important to me, to be able to move with ease.

[Morris]

November 29, 2017

I am going to be honest and admit that the Thanksgiving holiday was brutal on my goal of eating healthy. The pies got the best of me. Yesterday, we went out to eat with my parent. We chose the Indian place. I like that place because it offers vegetarian dishes. Unfortunately, it is high in fat.

I started with a plate of the salad and the spinach dish. Then I went back for some rice and to try a couple of the vegetarian dishes. I am hoping Vegan Richa has something similar. I ended with the rice dessert. UGH! So much oil and dairy, and I am sure salt. At least, the dishes were not overly salted this time. The last time we were there, I told them their dishes were way too salty. (Hubby got embarrassed, but I thought they needed to know).

Hubby was put on a steroid for an issue he has and was told the side effects can be pre-diabetes and weight gain. Since he claims grains cause him to gain weight, I said,"Well, looks like you might have to go paleo to offset it." Then we went to Barnes and Noble and he brings me a Paleo Cookbook. I said, "I don't do Paleo." He said, "But, you said you'd do it for me." ~~~~ No, No, No, I did not. I suggested to him that he may want to go that route cause I ain't cookin' meat and he claims what I cook causes him to gain weight! (I cook mostly the root vegetables and not so much of the grains)

I am so tired of him laying everything on me. Why is it that he cannot take responsibility for himself? This is a problem for me because according to him everything is my fault. It is my fault that he gains weight, it is my fault that he does not eat healthy foods, It is my fault that he eats junk food because I do, etc.

This reminds me of my niece talking about how her ex bought a bunch of school supplies for their daughter even though she did not need them and then expected her to reimburse him for the expense. She told him that he should have asked first what was needed. His response was that it was up to her to tell him that their daughter did not need the stuff. Her comment was, "Doesn't he realize how stupid he sounds?" ~~ Well, ditto that in my situation.

He wants to have salads and soups and then the main course. I will go along with that and be supportive of him. It is just frustrating for me because in the past he would lecture anyone who would listen about how we need to be careful on what we eat, but he never would practice what he preached. He is not doing it as much now, I think he began to realize how stupid he sounds .

Well, off to get my run in for the day. I am doing a virtual race of 155.1 miles and I am halfway to the finish line. I have a goal to get 'or done by the end of the year. I'll see how close I get.

[Morris]

December 1, 2017

New month -- I really want this to be a success. Hubby had minor surgery yesterday and when they were finished, his blood pressure was sky-high and they would not release him until it came down. It took 3 hours for it to come down to where they were comfortable letting him go home.

The sad thing is that he won't do anything on his own initiative to better his health. He relies on me to do it for him. I swear he thinks I am his mother rather than his wife and he is stuck in the 10 year old stage of his life. If anything happens to me, that man will be like a lost puppy,... edit here- I am getting too negative and that is detrimental to my well-being.

I have to stop with the negativity in my thoughts. It causes me to get frustrated and then I eat more and I eat junk. I have to stop that and switch gears.

I was going to do the Runner's World Holiday Streak, but because of yesterday, I only lasted 1 week. UGH! But my other goal is to finish a virtual race I am doing from yes.fit and I want to complete it by the end of this year (65 miles to go), that is my best goal. So, I will focus on that one and start in on the streak for December.

My other goal is to eat according to plan, and I will allow myself some non-compliant foods so I don't go overboard and when I do go off compliancy at least it will be planned.

I made a "cream" of broccoli soup, but did not add cashews for the creaminess, just nutritional yeast. I did not care for it and I am hoping hubby eats the leftovers so I won't have to. I made a chili the other day and it was awesome. When I was making my supper last night, hubby said he'd take some -- grrrrr. I had to share. So, I supplemented my meal with some pumpkin muffins I had in the freezer.

WARNING: TOO MUCH INFORMATION HERE: Today I started my day with coffee, of course (I am now down to making 4 cups instead of 6 --that means I am having 2 cups rather than 3 in the morning. This seems to be making an improvement on my elimination in the a.m. I think that third cup pushed everything through too quickly.

My meal plan for today:
Engine 2 Shephard's Pie
Huge salad
Soup of some sort
some type of veggie

And I am going to go for a run outside today - have not yet decided on the mileage but an hoping to do around 5.

[Morris]

Dec 2, 2017

https://www.drmcdougall.com/health/education/webinars/webinar-09-14-17/

The cram circuit ~~~ this explains my eating way too much so well.

Cram it in! I often describe my eating too much coming from my childhood where I say it was whoever grabs the fastest gets to eat. This teaching so explains why I binge eat, even when I am eating healthy foods.

[Morris]

December 6, 2017

I see that I am not posting daily again. It is just that I am trying to limit my computer time. Oh, what to do! The internet is such a time waster. I cut back on my coffee and my coffee time is my computer time, so I guess that means less computer time also.

My exercise is going well, I am doing a virtual race that is 155.1 miles long and I now have 45 miles to go. My goal in to "get 'er done" by the end of the month. If I keep going as I am now, I see that goal being complete.

So, why can I set and accomplish that goal, but the no junk food is so difficult. Oh yeah, the cram circuit, I am programmed to seek out calorie rich fatty foods. You know it almost seems to be a self-defeatist attitude when you blame on some evolution thing. The truth of the matter is I struggle with the no junk food because I am making the choice to eat it. I really don't think I am craving it in the physical sense, but it is more in my head. I am some how convincing myself that I really want that junk and then I give in to that thought. I think I am leaning more toward the Beck Diet Solution on this one in that every action first begins with a thought. To me, that translate in I have a choice in the matter and I can choose to think differently and not take action on that initial thought. (I am not sure how and if the "cram circuit" fits in with this.)

What I have been eating:
Coffee
cereals with fruit for breakfast
Soups: a Mexican style veggie soup, kind of like Chicken Tortilla Soup but without the chicken and tortillas
New England No-Clam Chowder, recipe from Plant Pure Nation. I love this soup. It tastes like clam chowder, but there are no clams in it. The first time I made it, it fooled me into thinking I was eating clam chowder even though I was the one that made it. I love that recipe, but I made it stovetop rather than instant pot.
Pumpkin Muffins, I made about 3 batches and froze them.
Broccoli
Brussel sprouts
mashed potatoes with chickpea flour gravy
peas
corn
black beans
Salads: romaine, mixed greens,with various toppings: onions, peppers, halo, craisins, toasted walnuts

My bad: chocolate covered mangos -- these were a star item at Costco, meaning they will be discontinued. Hubby threw 2 in the cart. These remind me of chocolate covered orange peel, one of my favorites. Good news is that open bag is still in the cupboard; I am exercising self control and only having a couple of pieces for dessert after supper.

[Morris]

December 7, 2107

Weighed myself this morning and I am holding at the lowest these past months. It is bouncing up and down a pound or two, but that is normal fluctuation. Plus, I don't want to get obsessed about that number on the scale. It is too easy to do that but I know that health is more than a number on the scale.

As I brushed my hair this morning, I noticed that my hair seemed darker than it was a couple months ago, more like back to my normal hair color, i.e. less gray. So, I asked my hubby if it was my imagination and his reply was that he see a lot of gray. So, I pointed out a streak in my bangs that was what my color used to be and told him a few months ago it was gray. I held a mirror up so I could see the top of my head underneath a light and said that it seems to be more of my natural color of years ago. He looks and says, oh, there's a lot of red in that grey. Oh, it must be less gray then.

So, have any of you readers of my journal get rid of grey hair by following a WFPB diet?

Been eating leftovers.

[Morris]

December 8, 2017

Yesterday i made the Cream of Tomato Soup from the China Study Family Cookbook --OMG! that is such a good soup. Of course, I couldn't follow the recipe 100%, I added celery, carrots and potato to the mix. For the "cream" you use cauliflower. It is such a good blend, it adds some dates for sweetness and I think that is what makes it so good (not as acidic)

[Morris]

December 9, 2017

I was doing so well, but now I wish I could turn back time and make this day a do-over. UGH! I totally blew it after a good start. Too many frustrating events --(read I pigged out on potato chips here)

Tomorrow is a new day.

[Morris]

December 11, 2017

My eating is a bit better, but I feel like I am starting over. Those potato chips got the best of me. I also noticed that I am more achey than usual, which is I usually am not achey. But Saturday morning, I did a virtual race on my treadmill and ran a bit harder than I normal. So, I am not sure if I can say it delayed onset muscle soreness. It felt more like the ache when severe weather is approaching, I woke up to it snowing. So, there are three causes to the aches -- I am going to attribute it to the excess junk to help my mindset say NO NO NO in the future.

I wish hubby would get on board with eating healthier; it would make it easier for both of us to get with a plan of no junk in the house. I have stopped suggesting that to him because of his passive aggressiveness. The last time I suggested it, he hid his stash in my spot. I have learned it is better to not say anything at all. If I say anything, he'll turn it around and somehow it is my fault. I need to reread Potatoes Not Prozac again -- somehow knowing it may be a brain chemical imbalance helps me tolerate his behaviour -- or should I say my behavior -- a bit better, at least with a better attitude.

Have I ever written about the time when I actually felt a change in my brain and attitude? It was the weirdest thing I ever experienced. It was years ago, when my daughters were teenagers, (you know those traumatic teen years), and I got in an argument with one of them, but then left to go meet my sister for our weekly walk. It was a half hour to get to my sister's house and I could not shake that bad mood. When we were on our way to the park for our walk, I said, "I need some chocolate." At that time, there was a chocolatier shop (imported chocolate from Belgium -- not cheap). I bought two pieces (rum chocolate covered cherries). Popped one in my mouth, held it there and savored the taste, texture, etc. Then the second piece. On the way back to the car something weird happened in my brain and I was like, "Wow!" "Life is great!" -- it was an instant mood uplift. I had truly experienced, just once in my life, chocolate improving my mood. Or maybe it was the rum. I don't know.

Whatever it was, I'll admit, it just ain't going to happen again by eating crappy junk food. That's for sure.

As for my eating, since my grandsons were here, I took the leftover Cream of Tomato Soup and added some tomato sauce and tomato paste to it and turned it into a spaghetti sauce and we had alien shaped pasta with asparagus and corn for lunch. Then for dinner, I served the sauce over whole wheat angel hair pasta and had a salad with it.

Slowly getting back on track.

[Morris]

December 14, 2017

Why is it so hard to eat food, real food that minimally processed 100%? I need to reread the End of Overeating again so I can get totally ticked off at the food industry and rebel and not buy their junk.

The Engine 2 people are going to do their 7 Day Rescue again on January 3 - I want to do that and make it passed day 1 this time. That gives me 20 days to get my head on straight. 7 Days - I should be able to do that 7 days, do what? eat food, just food and no processed junk for 7 days.

I have just over 25 miles on my Tortoise Creep Virtual Race, 155.1 miles, (which I started on October 28), I am committed to finishing it by the end of the year. I am on my way to success. So, why can I not commit to giving up junk food for 7 days?

I need to focus on I can do it, I can do anything for 7 days.I just need to take 1 day at a time.

Yesterday, I made some chili. I had some beans in the freezer that I took out to thaw and needed to use them. I added veggies, onion, celery, carrots, potatoes and then I decided to add some red lentils to give it that extra ummph. Except for the fact that I grated the carrots, I actually liked the extras added to the chili. I wish I would have had corn to add. Maybe next time.

It is holiday time and Helyn Dunn of Helyn's kitchen is posting here 12 days of Christmas Cookies - will these count as being compliant. She has a soft molasses cookie that I want to try. My mom has a recipe for those, but her's include shortening. It would be awesome if I could make them healthier. Helyn's recipe had the same idea as I had, using pumpkin or sweet potato in place of the shortening. And if I recall correctly, Vegan Richa has an awesome Triple Ginger Cookie.

Here I am wanting to eat better and I am thinking about cookies, cookies and more cookies. Will it ever end? I need a new mindset.

On the positive side of things: I am starting it incorporate greens (read salads here) again. Eating greens helps me with my sweet junk food cravings because I feel so much better when I eat greens and my desire for junk is less --note to self, here is my answer for the new mindset.

[Morris]

December 15, 2107

I weighed myself this morning and I am down to the lowest I have been in a while. I have been working on finishing the Tortoise Creep Virtual Race so i have been running on the treadmill a bit more than if I had no goal in mind. That extra motivation and the ifit maps I have been choosing helped. The maps that I have been choosing have lots of incline on the route. (In case you are wondering, my treadmill is ifit compatible and it uses google maps for workout routes. The program increases and decreases the incline according to the map) I have been doing the Machu Picchu Climb, I have one more to go and that one will have a steady max-out the incline.

I was not compliant yesterday, after my run on the treadmill, I had to meet my daughter in town so I left without eating breakfast unless you want to count the Belvita Breakfast Cookie pack I grabbed as I went out the door. Then after that I was shopping with hubby and we ended up going out to eat. I ended up ordering a veggie omelet (egg white and no cheese) hashbrowns and wheat toast. The waitress remembered me and she added the "you want no oil". I don't think the cook complied because it was oily. Then we stopped at a candy shop. I know, I know. But I have a coupon buy one piece get one free. But hubby could not just get one, he ordered 1/2 pound. I bought just 2 truffles, which I have yet to eat.

I wish I could say that I had so much self control and did not eat the chocolate. But, my sabotaging hubby buys my favorite candy and hands me the bag. Then he shares his chocolates with me. I let him sabotage me so it is my fault just as much as it is his. Over the years, I learned to sort of go with the flow because if I call him out on it, he'll do it more. He leans more toward being passive aggressive toward me.In the past, he would go out of his way to do what I asked him not to do, so I keep quiet.

This is also why he offered my his candy. As we left the shop, I told the lady that if I weren't on a diet, (although I know this way is not a diet but a lifestyle), I would have walked out with a pound instead of just 2 pieces. So, what does hubby do? He insists I try what he bought even when I replied, "No, it's yours, you eat it." But he kept at it. I get so tired of fighting him and frustrated. Then I get frustrated and turn to food. It's a vicious cycle.

Yep, I am not sure if you guessed it,but that night I baked me some brownies (although my chocolate truffles are still in the bag). However, the recipe was from Helyn's kitchen: https://helynskitchen.com/2013/03/black-bean-brownie-bites-flour-free-vegan.html Other than the sugar and chips, not too bad ingredients. I added walnuts and used unrefined (whatever that means) coconut sugar. I justified it by saying I need to eat my beans for the day.

The Engine 2 people are going to do the 7 Day Rescue again Jan 3, I want to make it through the week this time. I have 18 days to get my mindset in the right place. Hubby has already told me he does not want to do it with me. So, I also need to get my mindset ready to deal with opposing attitude. I mean, the man is 100 pounds overweight, constantly in pain and won't change his eating or up his activity. He lectures others on eating healthy, but he thinks eating healthy is only about eating non GMO. And the things he tells other people --- yet, he'll eat whatever he wants. No practice what he preaches.

That is why I don't tell others how they should eat, because I don't eat well myself. On facebook there is this post going around where it is who is on Santa's Naughty list and it will pick people on your friends list and give one the naughty, the naughtier, and the naughtiest. My dad did it and my profile popped up as the naughtiest - Why? Because I ate Santa's cookies. -- I laughed because when I visit my parents my hand is always in their cookie jar.

It is about progress not perfection.