Journal of my journey

[Morris]

December 18, 2017

Well, I reviewed my weight ticker and looked at the numbers for the past 2-1/2 years. I'd say despite my slipups, I am on track. If I had more time, I'd look at my entries at particular dates and see what was going on inside my head at the time. I find that I am an emotional eater and eat a bit more junk when frustrated or upset. I really need to find better alternatives to my mood.

My daughter made her grandmother's (my mom's) sugar cookie recipes and asked if I wanted some. I told her no, I am not even going to start eating those. A couple weeks ago I made the sugar cookie and the soft molasses cookie and they were not even around long enough for me to frost them -- read "I pigged out and ate them all". This must have been in the weigh-in time (as I review my numbers, I am sure the no weight recorded is on my upswing on the scale.) So, while the number may not be recorded, I know my secret.

My daughter is going to bring some to our family gathering. I am going to make Helyn Dunn's soft molasses cookies as a deterrent not to eat the ones made with shortening and sugar. I will also need to bring along compliant food if I wish to have any resemblance of being compliant.

These past few days, we have been eating out each day and I ending up eating fish taco and omelete. I did omit the dairy, not that really matters considering what I ate. Yesterday, we stayed home and so I was able to eat food, my food.

What I ate:
Smoothie - hubby made the smoothie with fruit and greens (he uses a lot of greens in his smoothies.) I don't make smoothies much any more but usually have a glass from his mix every other day. (He makes them for 2 days at a time)

baked potato topped with veggie chile

boiled potato fried (no oil) with onion and green pepper, topped with pinto beans. And a salad (romaine, sweet Kale Salad mix)

banana
Shredded wheat (sweetened) with cashew/hemp milk

[Morris]

dec 18, 2017

Just an addon -- I love seeing the little froggie on my ticker at the right hand of the ticker. To me, that means even with as much of the off plan eating that I do, I am still making progress and moving forward.

[Morris]

December 20, 2107

UGH! I get 48 hour delayed onset muscle soreness with I exercise, I think I have a 48 hour delayed onset weight gain when I eat fatty foods. Two days ago we went to an Indian Restaurant which has a buffet. I filled up my plate with the salad, rice and a spinach dish. The only good thing for me was the salad. The rice was oily and the spinach dish was way too salty. And the naan, I should never start eating Naan, it is a trigger food for me. I also had some Kheer, but that was way too sweet, it was like eating a bowl of sugar.

But, now my weight is up a bit and I feel bloated. I ate at home yesterday. I had to run to town to take my car in and hubby went with me. Shortly before we left, he asked if I wanted to go out to eat. NO NO NO. He ate before we left.

I am so glad that he did that because that vegetable soup I made tasted so good. I started out making Cathy Fisher's Minestrone Soup, but halfway through prepping the ingredients, I realized I was no longer following her recipe and my soup was no longer a minestrone soup. HAHA.

I found a quart jar of my mom's canned tomatoes in the pantry. I think that is my secret ingredient to my soups. I think I used them all now. Boohoo!

[Morris]

December 21,2017

Well, I am getting obsessed with the scale again. Weight is back down again after home cooked meals. So, I don't know if it was just the bloat from the salty restaurant meals or just getting back to eating less calories.

I made a couple of batches of Helyn Dunn's Christmas cookies, The Big, Fat, Soft Gingerbread Cookies and the Italian Anise Cookie, for the holiday. What a difference these are compared to my mom's recipes that I made a month ago. Differences are in the flours and fats used. Helyn's called for cashew butter (I used almond butter) and my mom's called for shortening. The flours I used were Almond flour and whole wheat.

Major difference between the two styles of the cookies is that I was able to stop eating Helyn's after I ate a few too many . Whereas, with my mom's I felt compelled to keep eating and eating and eating even after I had the thought to stop. That is an interesting revelation for me to see.

Reminds me of the book Sugar, Fat, and Salt by Robert Kessler and how those ingredients are used by the food industry to get us and keep us eating more.

What I have been eating, other than the cookies:
smoothie
leftover soup
power greens

Getting my mindset ready for the Engine 2 7 Day Rescue starting Jan. 3. Ever since I told hubby wanted to try it again and asked if he wanted to join me, he told me no and is going out of his way to fill his plate with meat. The other day at Costco, they were offering samples of chicken sausage and he liked it and I think he threatened me that if I don't make him sausage, then he was going to buy that sausage. -- I don't care anymore what he eats. I am tired of his passive aggression toward me and what to eat. If he wants homemade sausage that bad, he can make it, this acting like he cannot do things for himself is really getting on my nerves. The reason it bothers me so much is because he used to go around and preach to everyone and anyone who would listen to him about how we need to make better choices about the foods we eat. Practice what you preach, dude! Now, I digress...

I have to stop this before I get frustrated because I have 2 plates of cookies sitting on my countertop.

Just so you know, for breakfast i am planning on having a bowl of power greens and leftover vegetable soup, with whole grain bread. (I have to go outside and shovel snow)

[Morris]

December 22,2107

Well, I still have cookies remaining. Yeah me, unfortunately, I am still eating too many at one time. That Gingerbread cookies is a keeper. I used whole wheat flour instead of all-purpose for the Italian Anise, so the jury is still out on those. Those turned out to be too dry.

I was going to make an Indian dish, one that I ate at that Indian Restaurant, but then I realized I'd be using the same vegetables as the vegetable soup that I am still eating leftovers. So, what did I do instead? I made some unfried rice, (but I still used most of the same vegetables).

My daughters are feuding again, so my plans for a holiday meal together with them is now thrown out the window. The oldest is always pushing the younger to see how much she can get away with. The younger has said enough is enough. I don't blame her, I admire her for trying to remain at peace for as long as she did.

The older has some issues, both mental and relationship wise, that she needs to work out. Too bad that she won't get on a whole food plant based diet. She knows better. The younger is working on converting to that way of eating.

I am reading Joel Furhman's Fast Food Genocide, and am amazed at the connection he is making with the food industry's frakenfood and our society's woes that we seem to be having. I am not far into the book, but the issues we are having seem to be coinciding with the miracle of sliced bread and the tv dinners.

Preparing my mindset for the Engine 2 7 Day Rescue starting January 3 and I am joining an 8 week challenge on another page for a 5% weight loss, maintainers were welcome to join, the focus will be gaining points for exercise and doing a weekly challenge - I am hoping for accountability to get with a plan and staying on a plan.

Celebrating the holiday with my siblings on Saturday. I am bringing my dad's favorite cake: Maple Chiffon. This is the only time he gets it. My mom gave me the job of providing the cake many years ago, so I feel obligated to keep up the tradition. That and the rest of the meal will be way off plan. Maybe I'll bring that Indian dish and a salad. That way it'll be easier for me to resist the SAD food.

[Morris]

December 25, 2107

Merry Christmas! Hubby and I are going to spend a quiet day together. We already got together with my family and, by the way, I stayed compliant. Except if you count the cookies I ate, but I brought my own. I made a batch of Helyn Dunn's Soft Gingerbread Cookies so I would not be tempted to eat the other cookies there which had shortening in them.

Oh, I take that back, I ate a piece of the Maple Chiffon Cake I made because it is my dad's favorite cake. It turns out it is all my siblings favorite cake also. They were all looking forward to someone cutting into that cake.

I brought a salad, The Sweet Kale Mix (broccoili, cabbage, chicory, kale, pumpkin seeds, dried cranberries, [poppy seed dressing, which I don't use]) and a head of romaine. That is what I ate and added some of the vegetables from the vegetable tray that my sister brought. I was not even tempted by the other dishes that were brought -- all animal products.

It was an eye-opener for me. All my siblings are overweight. Growing up, my brothers and I were the thin ones. My sisters always had weight issues. I did not, but then I was active, a lot more active than my sisters and I think that kept my weight down because I was a junk foodie back then. I ate a lot of candy, cookies and ice cream.

My mom always cooked our meals. Whole food, often the vegetables came from our garden, which they tried growing by organic standards. But we had meat for lunch and dinner and often eggs for breakfast. Desserts were an occasional thing that my mom made.

I have one sister who does not have a car and she walks everywhere she goes, yet she is overweight. She does not run but I do. So, is the extra cardio what keeps my weight down? Of course, now I am eating way less junk than I was before.

I am always posting my dishes on my facebook account, so my family knows some of what I eat. I don't post the junk, but I say I need to cut it back or out. And they noticed that I only ate the salad for dinner. So, maybe, just maybe, I may peak their interest in eating this way. My one sister, does buy McDougall, Furhman, Gregor books and is attempting to eat better. So, yeah!

[Morris]

December 26, 2017

Well, I am up early to start my day. Today is the day that I am having the gathering with my daughters and their family. I am not looking forward to it because one of them has a bug up her butt (i.e. is upset about something) with the other. I am so tired of the bickering. Although she did call last night and say that they are fighting another bug [she described it as the chocolate flow]. I told her if you are sick, please don't show up and pass it around. So, who knows what will happen later on today.

We were going to have a sliding party after we exchanged gifts, but the weather stopped that; it is way to cold, the windchill makes it unsafe for the children to be outdoors. Well, there goes my fun.

I decided to end the year in exercise by doing ifit's Portugal Marathon Series. It has the route for a marathon broken up into 6 segments. 5 4-mile routes and the final segment has 6.3 miles. I did my first segment yesterday and managed to get do the first 5K without stopping, but my time was not as good as I wanted it to be. However, for as slow as I have been running, it was a good time. I am toying with the idea of a sub30 5k again. I had given up on that for a couple years now because it seemed like I lost speed and had not been able to gain it back. But, now I am thinking, maybe, just maybe.

My focus for the new year will be for the 10k at the end of April. I was looking at my recent times and would like to do a sub 70 (my real goal is 65 minutes, but that was out of reach when I was running better). So, I'll start with shaving a couple minutes off the recent time. I need to remind myself that my best times were when I was eating the right kind of food, you know, real food.

January 3 is the start of the Engine 2 Diet Rescue. I really want to make it through the week. The last couple of times I did not even make it through 2 days. It is so hard without the support of others in the household (meaning hubby). I asked him if he wanted to join me and told him what it entailed. He told me no he does not want to do that. Well, guess what? If he does not make his meals himself, he'll be doing it with me.

My mind set is slowly getting to where it should be. I think looking at others with their health issues is beginning to cause me concern about my health. My parents are now getting to the stage in life where they may have to give up their independence. My mom is starting to fall now and my dad cannot get her up off the floor by himself and has to call for help. I am too far away to help on a daily basis.

Well, my coffee time is almost done, time for me to do that next segment of the Portugal Marathon....

[Morris]

December 27, 2017

My unofficial official weigh in day: up from the last weigh in. BUT, the scale was showing a 1% drop in the body fat %. I have no idea how accurate my scale is, but my goal is to lose excess body fat %. I figure if my weight drops down to what one of the formulas for my ideal weight is, then I'd be at the ideal body fat %.

My youngest daughter did not get together for our gift giving get together. It was probably just as well, because she has a major attitude toward her sister. I know have an understanding of how my mom felt when I went into an anti-Christmas mode years ago because I had issues with my siblings. So, I am going with the flow...

My eating has room for improvement, like this is anything new. Chips and chocolate have been my downfall.

What I have been eating that has been compliant:
Vegetable soup
Tortilla soup, minus the tortillas chips (I ate those separate with salsa)
bean and rice burritos (I don't think the tortillas are compliant, but the filling is)

I really need to eat more greens and vegetables. I have been going in streaks, some days I have none and other days I eat a lot.

I received my copy of the new Engine 2 Cookbook. Oh my, I am impressed with this one. So many sauces and dressings to top other foods. I've always liked plain food, no sauces, because I like the taste of the vegetables, beans and/or grains by themselves. Hubby, on the other hand, is used to fatty sauces. So, maybe, just maybe, these recipes might be the answer. I'd really like for hubby to lose weight, he looks like he is gaining. But, if I say anything, he goes out of his way to eat poorly. Reminds me of myself when I'd get frustrated with him (or someone else) and go buy a bag of M&M's and eat the whole darn thing. Like that is really going to show them.

My frustration is beginning to rise, so I best end this entry for now.

[Morris]

December 29, 2017

Okay, I am getting scale obsessed. I hopped on the scale again this morning. I just had to do it because I had a compliant eating day yesterday and even remembered to drink water. I was curious. I was down about 1/2 pound from my midweek weigh-in.

I have to remember that the scale only tells part of the story. I am amazed at how easy it is to drop the weight if I eat food, real food. My hubby is in a lot of pain lately; I don't know if it is because of the colder weather or because of what he is eating. I have been talking about doing the Engine 2 7 Day Rescue and he seems to be rebelling and is going out of his way to eat meat and junk.

Okay, whatever! I am just getting tired of listening to him complain about how much he is hurting and yet he won't do a thing to help himself. He is stuck on "GMO's are bad for you< and that is what he brings up whenever I try to talk to him about eating healthy. It is not just GMO's that are making us unhealthy. But he gets something stuck in his head and he can't go beyond that.

Now, he wants to sign up for a qigong or ti chi class. As he was talking about to the instructor I kept hearing him talk about how he wants to learn to manipulate his chi for health reasons. Then we went to Costco and before we leave he tells me that he just has to get a hot dog. ~sigh~ smh Then I have to listen to him talk about how nasty it was.

I need to stay positive. Attitude is going to be vital for my success. Before we left, we ate lunch and that was enough for me to resist temptation. I really wanted a bag of potato chips. Fortunately, I remembered the last snack attack I had and gave in to that they were really greasy. I talked myself out of it and said I'd make popcorn when we got home.

I never did make the popcorn. Instead I made dinner: mashed potatoes and gravy, carrots, brussel sprouts, sunflower veggie burger and a huge salad. I ate about 4 usda servings of potatoes, 2 of the carrots and brussel sprouts.

Did I mention that I bought the new Engine 2 cookbook? OMG! That is the best one they published so far. I cannot decide what to make first. Oh yes I can -- Epic Brats. I have no idea if they will be compatible with the 7 day challenge. But that is one of the things that will keep hubby from eating meat. I cannot stand it when he fries that stuff up. It stinks! (in more ways than one) hahahaha

For my exercise, I found a Portugal Marathon series, for my treadmill, which uses google maps. It is broken up into 6 segments five 4-mile and one 6.3 miles. I will be doing day 5 today and that 6 miler tomorrow. That is the closest I will be to completing a marathon.

Also, this weight loss that I am experiencing in most likely because of those 4-mile runs on the treadmill. I am sure that it will go back up once I drop back down to only 2-3 miles. In the past, when I had that year-long plateau, I didn't lose until I started training for a half marathon and added longer distances to my run.

Well, I need to start my day. My coffee is now finished.

[Morris]

December 30, 2017

Almost the end of the year and I weighed myself this morning and I am amazed that I am only .8 pounds away from my goal. So, it must be true that the weight falls off if you stay true to this way of eating. I am definitely not depriving myself and I am eating a lot. I came to the conclusion that my weight gain comes from eating overly processed stuff. But, I will admit that I have been a bit obsessed with that number on the scale because I am so close to my goal that I have eliminated night-time snacking and am waking up hungry.

I am walking a fine line with hubby and diet. He needs to lose weight, but won't eat the way he ought to in order to do so. Why is there such a disconnect between what we put in our mouth and the way we feel? I don't want to push the issue with him because if I do he will turn to eating more junk, like that hot dog incident. It's so stupid. I have been talking about doing that Engine 2 7-Day Rescue Challenge and I he said he'd do it, but I don't really think he's on board because for his breakfast he had sausage and eggs. He will eat whatever I make, but I usually leave breakfasts up to him.

I made the Oat Pancakes from the book for supper last night and he asks, "Is this healthy?" Gee, I don't know, I ground up some oat groats add some baking powder and soda, applesauce, 1/2 banana, and cashew milk. What do you think? Were your sausage and eggs healthy for ya'?

What I ate yesterday:
Coffee
smoothie
peanut butter bread
mashed sweet potato, potato and carrot, boiled power greens, kidney beans
salad
Oat pancakes topped with pear and maple syrup
6 Ghirardelli chocolate squares

[Morris]

December 31, 2017

Well, I am less than 1/2 pound away from reaching the end of my ticker. Something seems to have kicked in and my motivation is getting stronger to eat well. I say in spite of totally blowing it yesterday. I went to our youngest daughter's yesterday to give the presents to the grandchildren and ended up taking my daughter to urgent care. She had a cyst pop in her foot and her foot swelled up and started turning purple and she had some itching going on. It made her nervous as she did not know what was going on. So, I drove her in to town.

Once there, like a good mother ~snark~ I went to Barnes and Noble to see if I could find a copy of the new Forks over Knives Bookzine. This issue is better than the first, in terms of how to get started in the plant based way of eating. I was so hungry, I also walked out with a Godiva Chocolate Almond Bar. --I realized that Godiva Chocolate is way over priced and it was not that tasty.

On the way home, I had to stop to get gas and ended up walking out with a bag of corn chips. My other choice was the donuts. Neither were good. I wanted a banana, but they were too green to eat. In hindsight, I should have just bought a coffee. I ate well for breakfast and lunch but ended up being too hungry while in town. I think i'll look for those bite-sized lara bars and/or packages of nuts to carry along with me.

I am so ready to eat better. I dropped 4 ounces despite the corn chips and the chocolate. But, i'll probably have some water retention and it'll show up tomorrow. Unless I can off set that with some good eating today.

The Engine 2 Rescue Challenge starts on January 3. I really want to make the 7 days. It'll be my goal to do a 7-day streak and if I mess up, then I'll just have to start over. And keep trying for that 7 day streak until I get complete.

I had leftovers for breakfast and lunch, along with a salad

Oh, by the way, the issue with my daughter's foot was just that the stuff from the cyst popping needs to get absorbed by her body. It is so amazing how our body can fix itself

[CrazyVegLady]

Hi Nancy! Good to hear about your daughter.

I am interested in this 7-day rescue plan, what are the recipes like?

[Morris]

Crazy Veg Lady - The Engine 2 Rescue starts tomorrow Jan. 3
http://engine2diet.com/7drc/

Food is simple, no oil, no sugar, no smoothies. Eat green at every meal. The challenge on facebook in being advertised as no recipe and they give a couple bowl building templates so you can learn to just toss in individual items and eat. (The book does have recipes though).

The purpose is to reset your tastes and get you started on the whole food plant based journey.

[Morris]

January 3, 2018

I am considering Wednesday to be my weigh-in days. I noticed that sometimes I get obsessed with the scale and hop on it several times a day. I don't know why I do this because I know that my weight will fluctuate up and down a pound or two. However, weighing myself is what can get my focus back to eating what I should be eating. Right now, the end of that little ticker on the bottom of my page seems to be unreachable. My weight is up a bit again, but I am still under that first weight goal. I did reach the Miller formula on the ideal weight calculator.

i am almost 5 pounds under what I weighed as a teenager and young adult. I am surprised that I have been maintaining this lower weight as long as I have been. But, despite my slip-ups on not being consistent with whole food plant based way of eating, it is easier to maintain and not feel hungry.

Today is the start of the 7 Day Rescue and I am already thinking of my failure at doing it. We have to go to town today and I have a feeling that hubby is going to want to go out to eat because he has been eating low- to no-fat with my meals. Ever since I said I wanted to do this 7 Day Rescue, he has been making it a point to have sausage and eggs in the morning. I am like, you are not hurting me. In the past, he'd have oatmeal. But he thinks because he uses brown sugar in his oatmeal, it worse that the animal products. I find it interesting that his chronic pain has increased these past few weeks. BUT, I am keeping my mouth shut on that one, because if I say anything, he'll go and eat more.

He also blames me for his problems, he is overweight and cannot lose because, in his words, I do not cook all of his meals for him. He eats too much junk food because I eat too much junk food and it is so hard for him not to eat. Yet, he is the one with the junk food cupboard full, not me.

What I have been eating is:
salad, lots of salad. I have been making salad as my base and then adding veggies and starches on top of it.
Romaine, bib lettuce, Sweet Kale Salad Mix (minus the dressing), then topping it with sweet potato or white potato, tomato, onion, carrot, celery, green pepper, mushroom, craisins, pumpkin seeds.

For breakfast this morning, I am making the Carrot Cake Overnight Oats. This is going to be my first time having overnight oats.

[Morris]

January 4,2018

I made it through day 1 of the E37DR Challenge. We were doing some errands in town and I managed to talk my hubby into waiting to eat until we got home, but then I was the one to suggest going out to eat. We drove past the Sakura Express, an Asian Food place that cooks per order, and they steam the veggies if one asks. I ordered a plate of steamed vegetables. No seasoning.

I am realizing that to be compliant (or I guess the new buzz word is "consistent" that it is taking a lot of planning and determination. But I have to remember how much better I feel when I am not eating junk.

Today is going to be a hard day. My dad is having surgery and my mom is sick. I need to take my dad in for the surgery because he did not want to cancel, that means I may end up staying at their home til my mom is better.That is going to be tough because I always have my hand in their cookie jar. -- Planning and determination. At least they eat better than most on the SAD diet and I should find potatoes and vegetables to eat if I have to stay. Hopefully, my mom will be better and my dad will heal fast.

I am not the nursey type. When I took my daughter in for her surgery a month or so ago, when the nurse was explaining the after care of the wound, I thought I was going to pass out (and I did not even see the wound).

The overnight oats were delicious. I made them again and made extra. I had blueberry/banana overnight oats this morning. I made another serving of the carrot cake for me to take with me so if I get hungry midmorning, I won't be so tempted to eat junk.

I did not weigh myself this morning. I really ought not be so obsessive about that number. Once a week should be fine.

For supper last night, I made a batch of vegetable soup. I cannot believe I ate almost half of it myself. It was so good and warm. 2 more months and it'll start getting warm again.