Dissolution's Solution

[fulenn]

Dissolution, congratulations on one year eating this way! I am also glad to hear that your wife has made some changes towards being healthy. moonwatcher, who also keeps a journal here, likes to say that something is "better than it was", so things are moving in the right direction.

Hope you get a minute to let us know how you are doing. Is your son's girlfriend doing any better? I keep hoping she will try changing her diet before the doctors ruin her health.

Fulenn

[Dissolution]

nomikins Despite me "best" efforts, I haven't really regained anything. I have been trying to remind myself lately, that vegan isn't enough, even low-fat vegan isn't what my "diet" is supposed to be. It should be; whole food, plant based, starched centered, low-fat, vegan.

carollynne It's almost like I've had to stop caring. I've done all I can do short of chaining her up in the basement and throwing broccoli at her (It is my understanding there might be some legal issues with that method).

JohnLarson Thanks for reading and glad you enjoyed it. It would be interesting if she came across it. It would probably end our marriage, she would consider it a betrayal of trust. I've sent to link to the website to a few friends. None of them have stumbled across this journal, and recognized it as me.

I did send a link straight to this journal to a new friend. This person doesn't have a weight problem, but seemed to be genuinely interested in the way I ate and why and my journey, so we'll see what they think when they are done reading.

danmc Wow, thanks Dan for the huge compliment! I'm glad you've enjoyed it.

carollynne That's great to run into another "health vegan" like that. I've only met two that I know of.

healthyvegan that's very kind of you to say. So glad to hear about you successfully converting your fiancee.

fulenn Thanks! #4's GF is very frustrating. I'm almost to the point of thinking she's likes the attention of being sick. She never feels well, always has to go home early. Not sure if I posted this or not, but she was supposed to go out to dinner two nights in a row, and wasn't going to go the second night, because restaurant food makes her UC act up. I told my son, the main two differences between restaurant food and home food are more salt and more fat, and that maybe steak and french fries isn't the best thing she could order.

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It's been one year. Wow, seems like a lifetime ago. If someone had told me 13 months ago I would be a vegan, weight 90 pounds less, be skiing and golfing and jogging, I would have thought them crazy.

I did think of something really profound to say on my one year anniversary.

Thank YOU!!

The past year has been quite a journey. I'm not sure I would have made it without all the support I get from the people here.

So once again, thank you all so much!

I promise to start posting more often.

[Dissolution]

Heard this song this morning, thought it was very apropos.

http://youtu.be/jbpDMD_cyMM

Ok, I'll admit it. This song made me cry.

Here's the lyrics

This is my life
Its not what it was before
All these feelings I've shared
And these are my dreams
That I'd never lived before
Somebody shake me
'Cause I
I must be sleeping

[Chorus]
Now that we're here,
It's so far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
All in the mistakes,
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
Now that we're here it's so far away
And I feel like I can face the day, and I can forgive
And I'm not ashamed to be the person that I am today

These are my words
That I've never said before
I think I'm doing okay
And this is the smile
That I've never shown before

Somebody shake me 'cause I
I must be sleeping

[Chorus]

I'm so afraid of waking
Please don't shake me
Afraid of waking
Please don't shake me

[carollynne]

Good Morning Dis, I just read your last stuff here, and even listened to part of the song ! So cool, that you are doing this in spite of all the family resistance from your very own wife. I loved your comment on the #4's GF, and you might have hit the nail on the head, with the loves the attention. There is a diagnosis there somewhere I am sure tee-hee! Or just plain old drama- mama types!! Surely it is attention getting, and who does not want that anyway? But for someone so young it is nutty, why she will not at least try to heal herself. but you are setting a great example and wow I would love to see that happening in my family besides me. My DH loves to bury his head in the sand like an ostrich, but denial will not get you any desired results! I am just saying that since he is trying hard to commit to this WOE for his liver and chol. but at home he is ok, then when we go out to Hoss's his favorite place to eat, then he will usually order a meat entree, wen I only eta a plain baked potato, and will send it back if it comes with anything! then he will ask me which salad dressing is the best, right there at the salad bar and I hand him the rice or wine or balsamic vinegar, and then he grabs a cup of one the soups there, all of which are salty, and meat based of some kind. So I figure he is in the transition period and may make a difference but moderation kills, as Dr Essy put it in his Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease book!
so many mutual prayers are in order on this board for sure!
I am so happy for your success and for your being able to enjoy the activities like golfing, jogging! you must have great joints! how cool is that ? I am hanging in there at 165 and want to see the 150s, but this is great too. I just say I am plant based and that my liver rebelled a bit ago, and I take in absolutely no oils. That gives a bit of a odd ring to it, but no I am not a alcohol drinker at all, never was, but to the liver it does not matter, the high fat foods all damage the liver just the same.
Have a great day out there, and have some fun!! that is what I intend to do too.

[Debbie]

Congrats on one year!! You've done awesome! Sorry there's still resistence at home. Maybe one day.

Love that song!!

Here's to another year. Glad you're posting again.

[Adrienne]

Great to hear you are doing well! Congratulations on what you have accomplished over the past year.

As healthyvegan, JohnLarson, danmc and others over the year have pointed out your journal is rather captivating and at times very entertaining. The funniest part of your journal so far, IMO anyway, is when your wife said that you picked the diet she would hate the most just to annoy her (or something like that). It's stories like that one that keep us all coming back for more.

That being said though as much as we all enjoy the entertainment of it all I think it's safe to say that we all admire your commitment to eating healthy despite all of the negativity you encounter and we are all cheering for you to succeed in reaching your health/weight goals.

[~Beth~]

Congrats on making it one year and maintaining your weight loss and getting rid of that angina and getting your mobility back
Enjoyed reading about your journey

[Lesliec1]

So glad someone suggested I read this journal. It's so good; It should be published. Awaiting more installments. (Not too much pressure ...)

[woods38]

Thank you for keeping such an entertaining and honest journal of your year getting healthier. I really enjoyed reading it this weekend. I agree with Lesliec1, you could turn it into a book.

I admire your commitment to this way of eating despite many hurdles. Congrats on your weight loss. You look great!

[Dissolution]

carollynne At least your husband in trying at home. #2 son, I think remains vegan at home, but he outs out 7-10 times a week. Think he's back up to 189, keeps telling he's going back full time. That's that slippery slope I'm so afraid of. Right now, the thought of eating meat or cheese is pretty disgusting to me, I'd like to keep it that way. I was working at a client site Yesterday, near the lunch room. Two people came in a microwaved their lunch, I had to take a 15 minute break because the smell was so disgusting.

#2 son is also an ex-smoker, and he'll have a cigar on special occasions, and it doesn't seem to trouble him. I won't partake, cause I know how much I used to like smoking, and how hard it is to quit, heck I only ever quit right after heart attacks, and still went back to it.

I think I'll just prefer to stay meat and smoke free.

Debbie Thanks, it's always great to hear from you!

Adrienne Thanks for your kind words. The journal has been a great way for me to vent emotionally, that's why there's so much whining. I do though, try to look on the amusing side of most things. I'm glad other people find these things amusing also.

~Beth~ Thanks, and welcome. I see you are new here. This is a fantastic way to eat, you will benefit so much from it. However I think the people here are even more wonderful. Allow them to help you, they are awesome.

Lesliec1 Thanks. Glad you have enjoyed it so far. I'm going to be updating more now, I think it will help me bring things back into focus.

woods38 Thanks so much. Published....Hmmmm...Wouldn't the wife be shocked if I had a book published, but probably more shocked to find out she was the villain in it.

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The wife has been out of town since last Thursday. It makes me sad to say I've really enjoyed not having her around. I cooked whatever I wanted without being concerned about her bitching about it. Saturday morning, after my trip to the local farmers market, I stopped in a vegetarian/vegan friendly cafe and had breakfast. Not only would I never get the wife into that cafe, she would be pissed to know I even went there (cause it's a "hippie" place).

Sorry, I guess I shouldn't be starting out my new year talking about negative stuff.

Anyways, going to the gym, will be interested to see if my running times have improved from continued time with this WOE, or have slipped back due to my lack of going to the gym.

Happy Tuesday all!

[Timkerbelle]

It's good to see you post again Dis.
I just had to comment, I saw on your slider that you are .2 away from being overweight. I know how absolutely thrilled I was when I went from obese to "just overweight".
You have done fantastically, keep up the good work.

[Dissolution]

Timkerbelle Thank you. I have thought about that 30 BMI threshold, but it's been such a huge thing for me to be a "regular" fat guy, instead of the fattest guy in the building. I know I am still obese. My wife tells me that a man "my size" shouldn't weigh less than 200 pounds, even had some female coworkers yesterday compliment me on my weight loss, and when I told them I still planned on losing another 20 or 30 pounds they seemed surprised and said, "don't get too skinny".

So I guess if eating meat is supposed to be macho, then being fat is also supposed to be macho? Makes sense for them to think that.

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A couple of weeks ago, the wife and I were having an argument about money and she pointed out that we were paying for a gym membership that I wasn't using. Well, I was on the phone with her yesterday morning and told her I was on my way to the gym and she said "Why?", I said because I want to go to the gym, to which she said in an angrier voice, "Why?".

She's back home now, and I'm sure me getting back into the routine of going to the gym is going to cause more than a few problems.

I guess I could say I was a little disappointed when angina showed up 2 or 3 minutes into my run, but you get what you deserve. Time to work on pushing that threshold back. Lifted weights too, a little sore this morning.

Have to go, happy Wednesday all!

[Debbie]

Glad you're still around. Sometimes it's good to stop and maintain for awhile. Lets your body adjust and you get used to being "new". Hope the angina gets better fast.

[Norm]

Hi Diss!

Good to see you posting more regularly We were starting to miss you!

When you were on the phone with your wife and she was asking why you were going to the gym, you should have said "Because you pointed out I was paying for it and not using it!"

-Norm

[peasouper]

Dear Dis

I have just read your journal from start to finish, it has taken me a few days, 52 pages is a lot to read, and it has made riveting reading. Thank you for sharing and I am sure it will have encouraged so many people to continue when their nearest and dearest cannot give them the support and encouragement they deserve. You have come a long way, and deserve the admiration you have engendered in us all.

I don’t usually wade in with advice because my journey has not been as momentous or heroic as yours or others on this board but I shall give you a story from my experience.

A long time ago (25 years) I was driving my car and listening to a psyscologist giving a talk on the radio and he was saying, depending on circumstance, it can take around 18 months or longer to become comfortable, accepting or assimilate any major change in a person’s life, he was referring to big things like divorce, bereavement. I looked at my adopted son who was strapped into his car seat in the back and thought he’s right, we had had Sam for 18 months, he was not a baby went he came to us and those 18 months had been a bit of a bumpy ride for us and our daughter who was 4 years older than him. But after 18 months I felt confident that we would be able to cope and the future looked rosy.

I just wanted to share that with you because in a way both you and your wife have experienced bereavement, you have both lost a comfortable existence, you have had to face your own mortality with your heart attack and your wife has lost the reassuring feeling that you were both on a similar level and ‘in it together’. She will feel isolated because you have drawn ahead, you feel isolated because she is not able to give you the unconditional love, support and understanding you need. The amount of adjustment you have both had to make and are still making should never be underestimated. Your continuing to love and reassure her should reap dividends in the end. You are living proof that it is possible to regain health, looks and lost activities. But it is going to take time and perhaps a lot of time.

Another thing is when your wife cries, a lot of the time it is probably because she feels frustrated and sorry for herself, she can’t help it, because I do it too.

Do not give up, continue! You are a shining beacon for her! When she says she does not believe you, remember that you are living proof that what you are doing works. I often tell people’ I am an experiment, watch this space’.

You may think she is not taking it onboard but I believe she is doing, she is just resisting at the moment, this is an enormous learning curve for her, she may not arrive at the accepting stage for some time

I sense a tiredness in your recent posts, please don’t be discouraged. You are an immensely resourceful individual with a great sense of humour Dis, so keep it up. We are all rooting for you.

Love Sue X