Dissolution's Solution

[peasouper]

Wow Dis, I am sending you my love, I hope you can reach some kind of resolution soon. It sounds like it's her way or the highway!

Sue X

[zippy]

his and her kitchens?

so much drama can't be good for anyone's health

hope you find a way to a more peaceful life

[nicoles]

Oh boy, Dis. I am sorry to hear things have gotten to this point. Hopefully something gets resolved soon.

[Adrienne]

Sorry to hear about what you are going through. However I can't say I'm surprised considering what has transpired over the past 56 pages.

Hang in there!!!

[carollynne]

Dear Dis, wow, I am just now catching up on your journal last pages, and her I thought you had not posted lately. I honestly am rooting for you big time. It will be ok, and you might even be happier when you get off on your own, and do not have to put up with anyone else's tirades and tantrums.
You have made such remarkable progress and should be applauded daily, not beat over the head.
praying for you and the family too.l

[Dissolution]

peasouper Thanks, I hope so too.

zippy She has shifted to cooking dinner for her and #3 son, before I get home. I explained to her that she didn't need to do that for my benefit. She said it wasn't so I wouldn't have to smell her cooking, it was because what I cook makes her sick and want to throw up. (Really I'm not a bad cook)

His and her kitchens will probably work, if the distance between the two could be measured in miles.

nicoles Me too.

Adrienne I guess I shouldn't be all that surprised either.

carollynne Thanks.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I should have some extra money coming in in the next few weeks. I'm going to do my best to get a second car purchased.

We talked some on Saturday. According to her, ALL of our problems have to do with my diet. We can't go out to eat anymore, I'm no fun anymore, I have a superior attitude, blah blah blah. If I make her so miserable, then she should be happy if I move out.

One of our dogs (4 pound chihuahua) has been having health problems, Thursday night he was suffering and the wife told me to fix it. I would have considered a vet, but this problem keeps coming back, and it was 8PM. I told her the only thing I could do was put him down, she agreed. #3 (25 years old) and #4 (22 years old), assisted me. I won't describe the method I used here, but if you want to know, PM me. It was a quick and painless and non gory as I could make it.

It upset #4 a lot. It was mean of me, but I said, "For a meat eater, you sure don't have much stomach for murder." He didn't have a response, and I guess the wife didn't hear either.

I should probably stop there before I go off and join the Sea Shepherd or something.

We bought a bushel of apples on Saturday, the wife wanted to can spiced apple rings. She had lots of apple parts left over and was planning on making apple sauce, I convinced her to make it cinnamon red hots flavored. It's awesome!

Hmmm...I bet this post reads a bit unstable.

Happy Wednesday all, I hope everyone weathered the storm ok.

[zippy]

Living in a battleground can make anyone lose their mind. Hope you come to a place that is more peaceful. You need to for your own health.

Putting an animal down is not fun but sometimes a necessity. I grew up on a farm so it's something I've done before. Really freaks out some people though.

[Debbie]

Hope you have a great Halloween.

Sorry your puppy got sick. I'm not sure I could do what you did, but adrenaline can change a lot of things when you know someone is suffering.

I agree with zippy. Hopefully things will calm down now. Are you really not fun or is it her idea of not fun?

[SunshineDay]

Dear Dis,

not to butt in here, but may I please suggest you google and read about "Narcissistic Wives" (starting with this link: http://www.wisegeek.com/what-are-the-si ... c-wife.htm)....? I've been reading your journal now from pretty much the beginning, and I think it may prove a real eye-opener. Folks with Narcissistic disorder have incredibly fragile self-esteems and deep insecurities, which manifest in their reacting very badly and defensively to anything he or she may personally perceive even remotely as a 'slight'. A Narcissist will do or say anything to 'win' a conflict, no matter how irrational or illogical it comes across, and are typically very controlling and manipulative in their relationships. They lack empathy for others, tend to externalize blame (blaming everyone else for their own problems and misfortunes), while they often unfairly 'project' onto others character flaws and faults that they themselves possess (but would never in a million years admit to). As such they are notorious for being able to 'dish it out, but not take it'. The things is, in their HEADS they really and truly BELIEVE their own personal world view -- the one they've conjured up in which they themselves are in the right, while everyone else is in the wrong. All of this means it's a particularly tricky disorder, that's almost impossible to successfully treat -- mostly because the Narcissist can't/wont admit/recognize that they have any sort of problem (in their minds it's everyone ELSE with the problems). Tricky, tricky stuff (no, I'm not a health professional, but have lots of personal experience dealing with this in a primary relationship). My apologies if I'm overstepping here -- but please consider educating yourself about the disorder, while being certain to establish very clear and firm boundaries. And good luck.

[carollynne]

Wow, dis so you are still at home, I suspected as much, as I do agree with the narcissistic analysis from SunshineDay but I also suspect that she is a huge drama-moma too. Loves the big blowups and what else can be done about that?
Good for you for being able to put down a dying tiny animal, without using cruelty. I suspect it may have been the exhaust fumes, that I have heard some humane types have used before. I applaud your humane decision.

Gee your wife is trying her best to not accept what she cannot change, your health is afterall your business, and you have to fix it. Or you will not be around for her to conflict with all the time!
Well anyway, Happy Halloween to you all, and

[bunsofaluminum]

she is a huge drama-moma too. Loves the big blowups and what else can be done about that?

A narcissist loves the drama, too, though so...I hadn't commented on it but I have thought that narcissistic disorder was possible from the descriptions.

My son is this way, and a former boyfriend. If you feel like you are always treading on eggshells...that's a sign.

The courage to live with someone who may be mentally ill...you're a hero!

[nicoles]

Hi Dis.

So sorry to hear about your dog. We had to put our cat down and it was hard enough at the vet's. But when it is time, it is time. I guess it is hard not to be a little snappy after something like that, and especially with all the other stuff you deal with all the time.

Yikes! All the diet's fault? Seems pretty unlikely to me. When she says everything is your fault/the diet's fault, does she mean if you went back to eating the other way then everything would be alright again?


Also:

Apple sauce with cinnamon red hots flavor? However does one do this wonderful thing? Sounds crazy-good!

Nicole

[nomikins]

So sorry to hear about your dog. We lost our 15 year old dog earlier this year. It's just devastating. I feel your pain in that regard.

Take care of yourself.

[Lesliec1]

So sorry about your dog. That's hard on everyone and it's tough to be the bad guy and do the right thing. If I find mangled wildlife I try to euthanize it and people just hate me for that. It feels awful.

You said you talked some last Saturday. Does anything good at all ever come from those talks?

[carollynne]

Hope all is well at your home, prayers to you and the family!