Dissolution's Solution

[napagirl]

Hi Dis,
Long time reader, first time poster.

When I read your last entry and you said that Brit said "Oh, you're Dis...", I had a momentary panic attack. For some reason, the first thing that popped into my head (after reading she was acting cold and not friendly) was that she had read your journal!!!! I thought your cover had been blown and that these friends of you & your wife had discovered the journal and figured out who you were. OMG.
Guess I should stop watching those soap operas and reality tv shows. My imagination is working overtime.

Anyway, I enjoy your journal and look forward to future posts. Glad you are back to eating well and feeling good.

[jewagar]

x

[carollynne]

Dis, I know it is hard to pass up the goodies, nothing helps at times, then sometimes some self talk does help. I try to remind myself just what happens to my guy when I eat all the stuff... and still the call to sugar gets me. Then I remember Doug Lisle lecture on the pleasure trap. I really need to keep out of the area of temptation. Hope your family is doing well, esp the wife with her diabetes. It is so cool that she has lost 100 lbs trying to make sure she still weighs less than you do. competition is a strong motivator! keep losing so she can too! I would love to see you both off your meds and able to enjoy and do more together. Now that would be so cool!
It has been a long haul for you and for her, so don't give up on her!

I have been routing for you both all along!! keep at it!

[raimel80]

Phew! I just read through your entire journal. Thank you so much for sharing your journey and for the much needed and often under appreciated (in polite society) honesty. I'm rooting for you. And along with everyone else awaiting anxiously the next installment of the saga.

[Dissolution]

Lesliec1 When I was drinking, had there been an entire plate of cookies, I probably would have not hesitated to eat them. The wife had made chicken wings and chili, neither of which are food to me anymore, my reaction is always more repulsion than temptation. Now if I could only get there with chocolate....

napagirl Haha, I see what you mean. Actually, I guess it is possible, this young woman was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis about a year ago, but I don't think she has discovered diet as a means of controlling it yet. Her husband is also young (27) and having health problems. He's only slightly overweight and is having high blood sugar and RA type problems, he moves around like an 80 year old man.

Brit says she was a vegan for a couple of years, but I doubt she was plant based. It did kind pique my curiosity though, I know that nobody really knows what causes MS, but it is an autoimmune disease. I wonder if her being off animal protein for a couple of years and then reintroducing it into her diet provided the spark for her MS?

jewagar I guess I became a little complacent. Eating out, although still a pain, it's the challenge it was when I started. The wife gave up fighting against my dietary choices, and switched to fighting about me going to the gym, or losing too much weight and other such things.

It's also been a bit a of a shock to my system, even though I'm still clinically obese, I'm "normal" sized. I feel terrific, I have tons of energy. The past 6 or 8 months, I really haven't had much of a desire to lose weight. Just the feeling of not being the fattest guy in the room, is so different for me, made my current weight range seem much more like a destination than part of the trip.

I'll get some new photos up soon.

carollynne One of the biggest problems the wife and I still have is her need to have sweets available. She wants a big bowl of candy sitting int he living room, because it makes her feel better. She might only take one piece of candy a week, if that, but she wants it there. That's not how I function. If I see it, I want it, right then and there. Even now, I have to make a conscious effort to NOT eat from that candy bowl. She now tells everybody that I won't let her make cookies to have around the house, and that's true I guess. I wouldn't mind if she made the cookies and then her and the boys ate them over the next 24 hours, but that's not what she wants. She wants to be able to see cookies all the time. The boys don't want cookies, the 2 dozen she makes would be sitting in a clear seal-able container on the kitchen island for 2 weeks. I won that argument at least.

raimel80 Glad you've enjoyed it. It's been an interesting trip to say the least.

carollynne Have you ever been to the Country Pantry outside of Shippensburg?

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It's been a pretty good week. I've been trying to get out of my food rut this past week. I had acorn squash twice and spaghetti squash once.

One of the many reasons my #1 son is getting divorced is his wife's fitness level. He goes to the gym several times a week and looks really good, has abs and all that. His wife has put on 20-30 pounds since they got married, and he told her, "I know it makes me shallow, but I don't find you attractive when you are at this weight." She refused to go to the gym or diet. This was the girl that went vegan last year and mostly just ate peanut butter and marshmallow creme sandwiches for a week.

Anyways I mention all that because now the wife is even more paranoid. I told her I wanted to start going back to the gym and she started crying. Well, after a couple of days I stopped by the only gym that has a pool and that came under new management about 9 months ago and checked into the pool condition and membership. She wants to give that a try as soon as she's over the flu that we both had. We'll see how that goes.

My 32 year old pregnant niece that broke her foot before Christmas is a mess. They won't put a cast on her because they are worried about blood clots, but she's not supposed to walk on it, but she's too heavy to use crutches. She went to Wal-Mart this past week and refused to use a motorized cart because since she doesn't have a cast she didn't want people to think she was only using it because she was fat. Sounds like she did more damage to her foot.

I know what that's like, to be embarrassed about how fat you are, always self conscious about it. I think that's what upset me about our friend that dies the week before. Such a brilliant guy, but was always secretly shamed that he couldn't control his weight.

Yesterday the wife wife went to one of my favorite stores while I was working. She buys 15 pound bags of oatmeal for $10. I was out of flaxseed meal and can get it at the store for $2.19 a pound. It's also a great place for spices and stuff. She bought some textured vegetable protein for me. Not sure what to do with it.

I hope everybody has a great weekend!

[kirstykay]

Here's a link to Susan Voisin's blog with several recipes that use TVP (textured vegetable protein). Hope that gives you some ideas. I've never used it myself, but remembered seeing recipes on this site for it. Let us know if it's any good and how you like it.

http://blog.fatfreevegan.com/search-res ... 1j549905j3

[Lesliec1]

One of the many reasons my #1 son is getting divorced is his wife's fitness level. He goes to the gym several times a week and looks really good, has abs and all that. His wife has put on 20-30 pounds since they got married, and he told her, "I know it makes me shallow, but I don't find you attractive when you are at this weight."

That's sad to hear! I gained a ton of weight at one point and my husband certainly could have dumped me. Lord knows I was not attractive by any standard. I'm grateful that he never made me feel bad about it. Thankfully, I got my sh*t together eventually and lost weight and became "normal" again. It's sad to think that a marriage could break up over that. Maybe the vows should include "in thin-ness and in fat."

[AnnaSpanna]

I'm also new to your journal (another poster recommended it the other day) and I'm incredibly impressed at how well you've done.

I sincerely hope you meet your goal and that you 'Live long and prosper'.
(Scifi fan who can't resist dropping random quotes in where she can)

[wildgoose]

Hi Dis,

I'm right with you on the sweets. Meat is totally non-food, but the sweet stuff is a big yawning Pleasure Trap for me, every time. I've just recovered from overeating maltitol-laden "sugar free" treats, which are worse! (relating my symptoms would be WTMI, but let's just say that maltitol and bowels don't particularly get along)

So back to brown rice and sweet potatoes and winter squash, all of which I love. You're an inspiration, Dis. I read your whole journal in one day -- practically ran the battery down on my iPad. Keep up the good eating and the fabulous journaling!

Goose

[carollynne]

Hi Dis!! Well I have not been to the Country Pantry, outside of Shippensburg, this must be on the way to Carlisle then perhaps? I do like the Maplewood Nursery Country Store, rather pricey, but beautiful produce there. I have been to the Amish bump and dent big warehouse kind of place, B&Bs in Newburg, tho for their produce (a lot of second quality produce, but who cares) all cheap, and they have a website, Amish or not!

Sounds like you are at least familiar with the area I live in, Chambersburg. A beautiful rural are, getting more and more built up tho.

Sounds like you are doing so good, and I am so thrilled for your whole family. My hubbs is really sticking with this WOE with oldest son and me now. I can hardly believe it myself. but since he does now have the diagnosis of an auto immune disease of the liver I am very glad. I hope with the next lab report he will have a marked improvement and the GI doctor will be even further confounded. He also seems to like the TVP and son made him up a stuffed green pepper last night, and flavored it up so good, that he told me he'd have liked that in a taco too! So thanks for the link KirstyKay,
Ah the sweets, now you are talking my game big time. I simply cannot resist them, so I have to stay away. I do a lot of self talking to accomplish that goal too. doesn't always work, and I could kick myself each and every time too. will I never learn?? one bite and it is the pleasure trap for me too!
I think it is great how your wife has lost 100 lbs and that is not easy to do on SAD!! but to have all those sweet and poisonous goodies on a table for weeks, that is just tantamount to a torturous suicide for me! and I wonder if she is doing that on purpose to tempt you away from your diet. You have got to be strong. Jealousy is a powerful motivating drug too. But forge on, and don't worry about it, sounds as if she is going to follow you no matter what even if she does not want to give you lip service that you are doing amazingly well and should be congratulated on a daily basis instead of the other thing. My hubbs too, wanted to get me off track, and now look at him, staying on course with me and son instead, I never thought it possible about a year ago, he was that opposed.
lesliec1 I like those vows, I really have yo-yo-ed a few times and my hubbs never told me a thing about it. In fact he kept bringing home more and more of my fav foods instead.... bless that man! I would have been so hurt...
All "youse" out there have a great day! the wind is howling here and it is very cold , but no snow anyway. Nice!

[fulenn]

So glad you are getting going on things again. And sorry to hear about your friend. I'm not sure there is an age where I will think that, it was okay, s/he was old enough, but that would have to be the 90's or more I think; he wasn't old enough, was he?

I can relate a bit to your wife keeping food around. I grew up in a family where we never seemed to have enough; I remember one of my brothers getting in huge trouble for eating a loaf of bread because he was so hungry. I wondered why they didn't just get another one, but now I know that there wasn't money for it. My response as an adult has been to eat it when it's available as far as dinner, dessert, eating out, etc., and to make sure that there is always plenty on hand at home. The result is that I am fat (though not much now) and am having to learn how much food in the pantry and freezer is a good amount instead of overfilling them. I used to like to eat one bite of a candy bar, then put it in a baggie in the refrigerator and come back for the next bite in another week or two. Drove my husband crazy. He ate it a few times until I got mad at him for eating them. But he saw it and wanted it, I saw it and was happy to know that, when I wanted it, it was there.

Have a good week,
Fulenn

[carollynne]

Dis, now that you mention it, my husband does love to spread out all the marvelous junkies that he at times loads up on, all over this one table, and I have to pass it by without seeing it. Usually that does work, and he has stopped a lot of that kind of buying too.
Plus after a long time on this WOE, some of this candy does not call my name. Now cookies I do have a tough time with. He too loves to see it all and I guess it must mean something to him.
Hope all is going well for you and the family.

[Dissolution]

kirstykay I love Susan Voisin's recipes. I re-hydrated it according to it's instructions and then added my version of taco seasoning to it. I tasted it and threw it away. I have some left, but can't think of any reason to try it again.

Lesliec1 Like I said her weight wasn't the only reason. I think #1 Son was getting glimpses of his Mother in her 40's from his wife in her 20's. i.e. Not being able to walk the entire mall, being too exhausted from 6 hours of working to do anything when she got home. He just didn't feel like he was married to a 27 year old.

AnnaSpanna Thanks and welcome to my ramblings. Speaking of Sci-Fi I just started watching the Dr. Who series on Netflix, I love it!

wildgoose Thanks and welcome. Fruit seems to help with the sweet tooth. The other thing I have to watch out for is bread, I can really over eat on bread.

Years ago when I felt constipated I would buy a bag of maltitol sweetened candy and it would clean me right out...lol

fulenn i think the wife really misses when the kids were little and she would make dinner and everybody sat down at the same time and ate, and they would all eat her desserts, myself included. Now with only two living at home and they work different shifts, have their own money. They don't eat her food much anymore. She made a key lime pie from scratch the other day, and she's the only one eating on it. #3's diet mostly consists of fast food and frozen pizza. #4 is fast food and kid's cereal.

I don't think my wife's fear of not having enough food around is from her childhood, I think it probably has more to do with her first marriage. She does like a full supply of food. We have two refrigerator/freezers in the kitchen, and very large commercial grade freezer in the basement, a pantry and an overflow pantry. We also added a canning shelf unit this past year.

carollynne Here's the link to the Country Pantry http://www.country-pantry.com/ It's not much of a web site but will at least give you directions, it's kind of in the middle of nowhere. A client of mine has a branch office out that way and I got lost one time, is how I found it. I buy my flaxseed meal and nutritional yeast there. I made a winter bean soup mix I got from there last weekend, made a huge amount for $2.50.

So glad your husband is on board, and seems to be staying that way. The one thing I wish I could get my wife of anybody for that matter to understand is how fantastic I feel when I'm eating this way.

The candy bar a bite at a time would have driven me crazy. One of the methods I tried with dieting years before was to always leave at least one bite of food on the plate. That was very difficult for me to do. I still don't do it. Which is one of my wife's talking points when we argue about my diet. Her claim is I still have an eating disorder. Which I do, but I've found a selection of food that works for me. She loves to preach about everything in moderation.

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Things are going very well. I'll update more this week when I get time.

[jewagar]

x

[nicoles]

Hi Dis,

Glad you are back and that things are going very well! I agree with jewagar - I think that a lot of people have eating disorders. I'd guess more do than don't, from my own observations at least.

For me, that is the beauty of this WOE - you can eat as much as you feel compelled to without harming yourself anywhere near as much! And I know what you mean about how great you feel when you eat McD-style and no-one understanding the huge difference it makes in feeling good.

Oh well. Experience is the only teacher, I guess. And first you gotta take that leap.

I was reading Dr Neal Barnard's book, "Breaking The Food Seduction" last night and he was talking about how it is a survival adaptation, the resistance to trying new foods or diets. That to just eat a berry or a leaf outside of tried and true tradition could have resulted in death or grave illness for our ancestors. He cites studies on chimps, I believe, in the wild, and how each band has their own strict "culture" of eating habits and food items.

Makes sense to me, that on some level the resistance is not just an eating disorder, or a need for therapy or a visit to Dr Phil, or some sort of character failing, but a deeply atavistic need to stay safe, and avoid new and threatening foods. Makes it easier for me to understand why people just don't get it.

Cheers!

Nicole