Anna's Journal

[Anna Green]

Ms. Doodlepunk, oooh those grits sound great. Gonna give em a whirl. Thanks for all your support.

[Birdy]

Hi Anna,
One of my daughters, my middle child, got involved with drugs and alcohol for about 5 years and it was awful. I truly understand that you felt sad, sad, sad. The thing that brought her out it was getting her into a therapeutic program completely away from her peers who were using. But that was when the problem became really serious. We were dumb - we really didn't know what was going on until it was very far along. So in a way you and your son are fortunate that this came to your attention early on. I hope you're in a position to get professional help for him. The influence of the kids he hangs out with is very powerful. I'm hoping the best for you both.

It's a testimony to this diet that you've been able to stick with it through the past few days. I find that the McDougall diet, because it has a lot of carbohydrates, is soothing and makes me feel both calm and satisfied, whereas the low carb/high protein approach has, in the past, made me feel depressed and more anxious.

As for walking, I live in a really green beautiful area with lots of hills and Puget Sound so the walking opportunities are great. I usually walk with my yellow lab who likes walking second only to chasing sticks and balls. Lately, I've been measuring distances with my car with the thought of trying to do some bicycling, but I'm so out of shape that I want to McDougall for a while so I don't drop dead while cycling. I have a Raleigh bicycle that has about 24 gears on it for grannies like me!

Anna, I'll be thinking about you.
Kathy

[Anna Green]

Birdy, I used to live in Fauntleroy (West Seattle) near the Puget Sound. It was so gorgeous. My son was born in Seattle. I really miss it. We may go there again soon. Anyway, thanks for your post and support. Kind of embarrassed that I post as much stuff as I do.

Today was good as far as eating goes. I thought about it, eating SAD but I didn't. I made grits this morn and they turned out great. My boy really liked them. I am making gumbo as I write. Hope that turns out well. I went to a farmer's market and got some okra, tomatoes, squash, zucchini, onion, and fresh red beans. So I thought I'd make a roux (not really, just toasted the ww flour) and go from there.

Morning: cherries, plum, grits- 2 bowls, oh yeah!, and black beans- about a cup

Afternoon: jicama, baked potato and broccoli from Wendy's.

Evening: brown rice veggie sushi, raw okra, tomato, gumbo on top of grits

[SandraK]

Congratulations on your successful fight against temptation!

Thanks for sharing about your son. That's the real life stuff we deal with, and for many of us - the greasy, fatty, sugary SAD food acts as a comforting balm for the soul -- at the price of damaging our body. Too high a price! My four (nearly) grown children are smart and funny - lovely people - who continue to make poor choices that hurt their mother's heart.

Hang in there!

[Anna Green]

Sandra, Thanks for your encouragement. Today has been ok except I could not bring myself to exercise. Don't feel very motivated to do much of anything. Did not have Sunday dinner but will next Sunday. Resisted the wheat french bread I had bought for guests. The gumbo was calling out for a dip of bread but you know I just thought I could do better than that today. Had a good opportunity to eat good food and I hopped on it. Not that I don't have that opportunity every day but today I recognized the gift it is and accepted.

Morning: 2 small peaches, a lot of veggie gumbo (okra, zuc/squash, tomatoes, broc, shroons) with some red beans thrown in- and a much smaller amount of grits

Afternoon: 2 bowls of veggie gumbo and a little grits

Evening: big spinach/arugula salad, 2 nice size yukon gold potatoes

2 cups of tea

[ncyg46]

Hi Anna,
One of my daughters, my middle child, got involved with drugs and alcohol for about 5 years and it was awful. I truly understand that you felt sad, sad, sad. The thing that brought her out it was getting her into a therapeutic program completely away from her peers who were using.
Kathy

Anna...
i am dealing with past drug problems with my son also for the last 4 years...only he is 38 years old. I guess it is called toughlove but I have helped him with small amounts when he needed it but not anymore. I am still MAD. We did an intervention and put him in the Center for Drug Free Living in Orlando....he thought he was going to meet his exwife at Burger King...then he went to another place and got thrown out with his new girfriend....
I won't go into details but call mom and if she says no just leave her hanging there without calling back...so darn mad I could scream. I talked to my daugher and his girlfriends family helped. It's enough already, I raised him. Now it's time for me! That's why I am 3000 miles away! I guess I am bad person but I have had it.....

[Anna Green]

Nancy, thanks for sharing. I so appreciate all of this support. I really hit the jackpot finding all of you. You know I really think my son was experimenting with his little geek stupid friends and is not yet ready for rehab. He doesn't want to do "drugs" and did not get it until now that he could get into trouble with the "safe" stuff.. So we've talked alot about mood altering substances (drugs), potential for addiction, etc. I also sent him to spend some time with his teacher whose take on it is similar to mine. What also encourages me is that he no longer wants to hang with one of the kids whom I think he is recognizing as maybe having a problem. I don't know if the kid does or not but it was the same kid who did not want to call the ambulance, so I'm glad. I have been around a lot of people with drug issues and their naive families so I am opening my eyes and paying attention. He knows it too and has not even asked to leave the house. I think he is scared too and just wants to stay close to home, me and would never come hell or high water (high water, ha- we know about that one) admit it, little brat that he is.

So I am on plan today, have my lunch packed for work and am motivated no matter what happens today.

Later... I have done well today, maybe not enough food at work but I am home now and will make up for it I am sure. We had an older, very sick overweight woman without a home come in to the office and I gave her several pieces of fruit in exchange for her potato chips which I threw away. I know, not having a lot of boundaries there but I couldn't help myself. She is so clearly going downhill. People donate junk food to the homeless. Sometimes I can get them to donate "wheat" bread instead of white or add a piece of fruit. When I think about their not having much choice as to what they eat and how they have to be grateful for whatever crap is thrown their way, I know that I need to be thankful for my big ole spinach salad and get over the feeling I am missing something in not eating french fries, etc. Ok, enough of that. I am so into this today (feels good and I am more confident) and today this is what I can do.

Morning: big yukon gold potato, bowl of veggie and red bean gumbo
Afternoon: split pea soup with some added frozen peas, sm serv of steamed cauli, broc, and carrots
Evening: Big ole spinach/arugula salad, yukon gold potato w/veggie gumbo and later...another big ole yukon gold potato and a couple of strawberries

[Mrs. Doodlepunk]

Oh, Anna that is such good news that he doesn't want to hang with that kid any more. He probably realizes that when it came to him DYING or the kid getting in trouble, the "friend" chose him dying. With friends like those, who need enemas?

Sorry for that mental picture so early in the morning.

[ncyg46]

Be lucky that you found out so soon....my son starting doing things back when he was a young teenager and none of us knew it....After he left the house and got married, he hid things very well and we still didn't realize it since he was working so hard...maybe that was part of the problem. Hopefully things will work out good for both of them. I am supportive in phone calls but can't and won't give him anymore money to straighten out his problems. My son has tried various jobs, but his experience is in the restaurant industry and that is the WORST place for him!

[Birdy]

Anna, I like your last post. You have courage, strength, and what old timers call "pluck." Not to mention humor which sometimes I think is the best quality of all. Have a great day.
K

[Anna Green]

Nancy and Ms. Doodlepunk, thanks so much for talking to me about this. Oh, and the early morning image was funny and so right on. I hope my son's friend has learned something from this along with my son. His friend really can be a good kid. I don't know what he was thinking or maybe that's just it, he wasn't thinking.

Birdy, I don't think anyone has ever said I have pluck and I like it. I haven't thought of myself that way in a long time and I think I want to live up to it. You are so generous. Thank you for going through this journey with me.

Today was a very long work day. Got home after 11p. This would definitely have been a trigger for me before, being tired and passing up drive thrus. I did not go thru however, I came home. For this I am pleased. I am still worried this won't last , that I will return to my old habits but I am trying not to think about the future too much. I just try to think about what I have to do to prepare for the next week of eating. I find when I think about eating this way for good, I have one of two responses depending on my mood. I either like the idea and really want it or I feel overwhelmed and a little sad at no french fries, etc. So the best thing for me right now is just to focus on now and enjoy the food I eat most of the time and definitely enjoy my energy level and shrinking body. So far I have not had one day of eating healthy that I can look back on and wish I had eaten SAD. Sometimes all I can do when I want to eat SAD is think about how I will feel later if I choose to eat healthy. That is helping. So, this is what I can do today. I write all this to help implant it in my brain and so later I can read it when I am having a moment if ya know what I mean...

Morning: cherries, sm peach, 1.5 yukon gold potatoes, cherry tomatoes

Afternoon: arugula; lentil, spinach, sw pot stew; Sprouted grain eng muf

Evening: a little lima beans and ff hashbrowns and broccali after rooting around in the freezer at work and stealing a friend's stuff (she won't mind); later at home some veggie gumbo w/ peas and corn thrown in.
And it's midnight but I am still hungry so back for more...

[f1jim]

I think you are doing wonderfully. It does get easier each time you drive past that drive-thru. For me it was those darn chicken wings! Theycould call me for miles. Now I drive by and they still smell good, but pride in driving by feels better!
We are with you Anna, fight the good fight. The battle is really within. You are more than half way there.
f1jim

[Anna Green]

Jim, I am fighting the good fight today! Oh yeah. Almost strayed the course but I thought about how I would feel when I weigh in the morn and kept on the straight and narrow. (Yes I am gagging myself with that last sentence) So all is well and thanks so much for your words.

Morning: veggie gumbo, plum and cherries

Afternoon: lentil, sweet potato, and collard stew; spinach

Evening: veggie gumbo, sweet potato with fire roasted salsa, raw cauliflower, brown rice, broc, cauli, shroons.

[f1jim]

No binging and purging allowed on McDougall!!
Good work staying tough with those drive-bys!!!! By the way, I've got to try that Gumbo. I was always a sucker for good gumbo. My mama could make a roux!

f1jim

[Anna Green]

Jim, I am not yet happy with my gumbo. When I am you are more than welcome.

Ok, you know how many frickin soul food places with "krispy krunchy chicken" are between my job and my house? It was so bad today, the temptation, that I wanted to close my eyes while I was driving. Ya think that hazard is talked about in the MWL book? Can you see the headlines, "Fat Woman Dies While Driving With Eyes Closed to Avoid Dying of Fried Chicken Consumption?" The temptation is so bad that I almost can't type the words w/o hopping in the car and seeking out the puss filled diseased fried bird like a rabid animal. So SUPPORT TEAM, I'll feed you when you come to New Orleans (Mcdougall food) but I need atta girls, gold stars, "you are the queen" (NOT queen sized) responses for making it through the jungle without stopping at the "mom and pops" on the way home today. The real reason New Orleans is a jungle is not the crime. The real crime is the food. Sin should not taste that good!!! I know I am lucky and blessed to be eating this spinach salad that is rather tasty by the way, and all that crap but ya know what? I WANT MY FRIED CHICKEN AND MASHED POTATOES, MACARONI AND CHEESE WITH GRAVY ON TOP, FRENCH FRIES AND GRAVY AND GREENS WITH THE HAM HOCKS AND SMOKED SAUSAGE AND CRAWFISH AND GUMBO PIZZA!!! CAN I PALEEEASE HAVE A DAMN CRAWFISH HEAD TO SUCK?

oK. I have worn myself out. The tantrum is over. I have to go get my brown rice and veggies I made last night thank goodness because I am very hungry and cranky and if you are judging me in the least little bit then I hope you MWL diet yourself silly for the next 6 mths and gain 10 lbs.

oh and those little blue crabs that have soaked up the gumbo....