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annagreen wrote:So one of the reasons for coming to this site is it gives me contact with a little sanity in a world that sometimes seems like it's going mad. Unless I get to the woods. The plants and bugs and animals could care less about our drama unless unfortunately what we do affects them. But at least they don't talk about it too loudly. The counterculture here is a relief. The message is much more widespread today but I still know no one in my personal life that is on this path with the exception of my kid sometimes. She isn't totally convinced not that being totally convinced always impacts my behavior. Maybe thats part of the problem.
One of the tell tale signs of my inconsistency is the on and off of bp meds. When I'm doing well I'm off obviously. When I have to get back on it's such a let down and I feel alot of shame. The inner critic freaks the *%&$ out! Which really is a good thing if it leads to potatoes and away from french fries. If it just means I drink a beer to not think about it well not so helpful. Journaling helps me to think about it in a healthier way and to recognize that I am healthier than I would have been without this knowledge and intermittent practice. Not that some is enough. When I read the successes of McDougallers here I think as long as I am alive there is a chance to get it right. I love when I am where I am now....feeling better, enjoying the food, having that congruence in my values and actions. I never have figured out why it's so hard to stay the course but sometimes telling myself to just put off the crazy gets me through a rough patch. And not listening to all the minutiae. For example, If I think I need to do intermittent fasting but am hungry at 2a and can't sleep and get a snack it can feel like a failure. And if I fail anyway well might as well have those fries. I hear how ridiculous this is. Maybe intermittent fasting is good but for me right now it's majoring in the minor things as Chef AJ says. And damn that food I ate yesterday was so so good...salad, fruit, oats, potatoes. So that is my focus and that is what I can do today.
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