Hi Erin and Stephanie. Thanks for stopping by
I'm actually practicing getting on the floor and back up again. Adding it to my dailies. Oh! I also started doing 25 pushups off the kitchen counter every morning while my coffee makes
Upper body, FTW.
Today I have obesity on my mind. I stepped on the scale this morning, and I've gained weight. Last weigh in the summer I think and I had taken some off. Not a whole lot, but enough to think moving my body, trying to avoid fats, and not overstuffing at meals was working. But yeah...seeing the pounds up today has me frustrated, ticked off at myself, sad, angry. I never thought I would EVER be at this weight again, wearing the same jeans size I was 20 years ago. My own lack of discipline and consistencey has brought me here and I'm super pissed at myself. But that is NOT what I wanted to talk about. I'm going to guard my self talk and move on. Right?
Obesity. There's this lie going around "It's okay to be fat as long as you're otherwise healthy" ... well let me tell you what, if you are obese you ARE NOT HEALTHY even if you don't have high BP (I never have had), even if you are active and mobile (I have been up to the last couple of years) (well...mobile. I am a couch potato by nature so I can't say I'm active). I saw a picture posted on FB, statues of two Rubenesque women with rounded bellies and thighs. They were plump and naked and beautiful. So I posted a pic of the Venus von Willendorf with the caption "Yeah, but my statue is more like this"
and someone said "well, as long as you're healthy."
I want to SCREAM!
If you are THIS FAT, you are NOT HEALTHY no matter what your "numbers" indicate. My blood work comes back every time with everything normal. My most recent had slightly elevated glucose but never in my life have I had any "other indicators" ... In my 30's, when I was at my absolute heaviest, I was climbing trees, getting in tickle fights with my kids and my siblings, raising my family, active in my church, etc. I've taken long LONG walks every day of my life (minus the recent knee years which are turning around) and so forth. A "weight loss specialist" (really a drug pusher who wanted to "cure" my obesity with anti-depressants...oh yeah. Depression is one illness I've dealt with my whole life as well, but I don't know that is related to the obesity. Probably) told me "I can't figure out why you're overweight. Your numbers are perfect" well MADAME what if I eat more than I should and don't move enough? Could that be the sitch?
sorry. A bit of a rant here.
My reply to that comment on FB was "Well, as you get older it is a genuine problem. My advice is to get fit and stay fit" or some such.
My sister is a trim athlete in her 50's, also vegan but does consume some whole fats (avocado, nuts, etc) (because she is no higher than an 18% body fat, lower I'm sure) but she's constantly moving and she is still climbing rocks, paddle boarding, hiking, skiing, running, backpacking, playing golf, etc. She says "Use it or lose it" and she's right. We spent a week at her property in McCall ID last August and I was appalled at my complete inability to walk so much as a half mile. I wrote about that in this journal. Everything had deteriorated and I've had to gradually build it back up: My core, my quads.
Frankly I am in sad shape, bordering on dangerously unwell from OBESITY. Obesity is my illness and it is making me sick. It is slowing me down, preventing me from doing things, sucking my energy, keeping me sad and still...sedated?...causing aches and pains, impacting my quality of life.
As I was doing my yoga this morning...oh, here's another thing. I vowed to do yoga every morning for the rest of my life? Well, I haven't. I skip days. Skip walks, too. SO pissed at myself.
As I was doing yoga this morning, I was crying. I don't want to be obese. I want to be trim and healthy, energetic, active. Wish I hadn't gotten on the scale...but now that I know the truth, eh?
Okay so. Obesity is my illness. I need to treat it like a FREAKING ILLNESS. If I had Cancer I'd get treatment. If I had Type 2 Diabetes, I'd find out how to help myself (and get treatment). I'd see a specialist. Absolutely. Obesity is NOT "okay as long as you're healthy" because
if you are obese YOU. ARE. NOT. HEALTHY. I'm obese. Not healthy.
Well, got it off my chest a bit I suppose. Now what? This is going to be a fight, it isn't going to be easy...fighting cancer is hard, and so is fighting any life-threatening disease... like obesity.
1) a counselor/therapist to start with. It's been 15 years since my divorce and I had a year of therapy that was SO GOOD.
2) show UP for petesakes. Dammit, do my FREAKING YOGA, every day! Walk or pedal EVERY DAMN DAY. Period. End of report. No excuses.
3) get serious about my food. Gawd, what's it gonna take? Quit buttering everything, HEIDI. Quit having "just a few" mini muffins or almonds or "just one piece" of avocado toast.
4) find some role models.
There's a 90 year old woman who can stand up from the floor without using her hands to prop herself. She does yoga, works out at the gym, goes up and down stairs without hand rails, drives herself wherever she wants to go.
There's a gramma who started out obese and started getting fit. Took off around 100 lbs, who now goes to the gym, rides bicycles with her grandkids and wears tank tops and shorts.
There's another woman, in her 70's who started doing weights and now is RIPPED.
There's this gal on YT, HeidiSue
who used to post videos of her yoga routines and other goofy stuff. Check HER out, HEIDI.
5) a personal trainer? Yeah. Probably after the New Year's rush to the gym is over.
I don't want to have to fight, but guess what. Life is a fight. If I back off from one fight, another fight is gonna find me. Might as well fight for something that I know will help me in every way.