mandybee's journal

[mandybee]

Well, I love Dr. McDougall. I'll start with that. Seems like the best place to start.

It was serendipitous that I even came across him. I was doing law of attraction affirmations on YouTube and then High Carb Hannah came up as something else I might like to check out...her cover mentioned she lost a good amount of weight eating potatoes. I thought the girl was bonkers, but I was intrigued because I thought potatoes were the devil and I love potatoes. Low carb was all the rage, or so I thought. I wasn't losing any weight doing it, not sure I knew anyone who did. Basically knowing this girl was peddling some sort of scam (but I'll follow anyone into a dark alley if they are offering potatoes) I promised myself 3 weeks hardcore, no cheating, to see if it *could* be possible. Also I figured 3 weeks I couldn't gain that much weight when it all went to hell. I also did the research, she mentioned Dr. McDougall so I stalked his site and followed his MWL guidelines exactly.

3 weeks later: I was shocked, I lost like 12 lbs in 3 weeks. It was insane and I never felt better. I ended up losing over 25lbs. This was around August, 2017, thinnest around March, 2018. I stayed the course and didn't deviate. I was already an avid exerciser, I love jogging (I'm not fast, but I can go the distance with a good playlist) and HIIT exercises with weights, etc. I love a walk outside under any circumstances. I was doing great. I no longer craved pizza, I could say no to any food temptation. I didn't want to wreck how good I was feeling. I brought my own food everywhere I went. I was pretty close to a goal weight, not quite there but I wasn't worried, I honestly just felt and looked great and I was planning to stay the course.

In January 2018, I started a new job, bought a new house, sold an old house and things were better than ever (hectic with all the selling and buying) but I was staying the path. Even with a move! I was so focused nothing could shake me, or so I thought...

In March, 2018, my brother-in-law committed suicide. It was a shock; our family was beyond devastated. He left behind all of us (he was my brother, he married my sister when I was 13, he was in my life much longer than not), but most importantly my sister and her 3 teenage daughters. Funeral food is the worst and it started me down a slippery slope. I stuffed my face because honestly, I just felt so empty and I wanted to numb the pain. I feel like I'm the sort of person who could say I lived a charmed life to this point and nothing so tragic had ever happened within our family. I always thought we were so lucky. We are still lucky, that situation only proved how much love still remains in our family and we are all healing.

For the past 2.5 years, it's just been a rollercoaster and I would get back on track with the starch solution and fall off the wagon again. I suffered with depression the entire time, but didn't really do anything about it. I mean, I was sad, wouldn't anyone be?

Finally though, I feel like things are finally starting to feel normal again and it feels good. In the meantime, I probably put back on about 15 lbs.

I'm so so so excited about the October weigh in group. I'm so pumped and I don't know why I haven't done it before. I think I thought I could do it on my own, afterall, I had before, but for whatever reason, I'm sick and tired of the start and stop. I'm sick and tired of feeling disappointed in myself. I'm ready for the start and keep going for the rest of my life.

My plan is to follow MWL, continue with my exercising. Journaling. Eating simply. Meal prep. I have no problems eliminating oil or animal products. I actually love vegetables. But my job is stressful and it seems like after my brother-in-law's death, I was less able to cope with stress and turned to food. So I'm going to continue on my path of healing and really work on ending emotional eating.

[VivianS]

VivianS October 1, 2020
Mandybee, I am sorry for your loss. Hang onto the good thoughts about your brother in law and follow any good example he set for you and his family. He would want the best for you. Do those good habits you did before his death that gave you success. I'm glad you are determined to do that. You can be the good influence in your sister's life and on her daughters that will help them live successfully, too. We don't understand why these things happen, but your job is to focus on being and doing the best you can. Leave the rest up to God. He will help you. Talk to Him about it and let God comfort you. Food will never do what only God can do. Food was given to you as an act of love when your brother died. Now in an act of love for yourself, choose the life giving food and activities that will help you fill the needs in the lives of your family that brother, daddy and husband is not there to provide. God bless you.
Vivian

[mandybee]

Thank you so much for that encouragement, I can't tell you how much that means to me.

[kirstykay]

I'm so sorry for your tragic loss. I can't imagine the devastation your family must feel. I am glad you are here and will be joining the MWL weigh in group. It sounds like you're ready to take care of yourself again. I am praying for you and cheering you on!

[mandybee]

Today was first weigh in. Yay! Yay for the new start, I was actually up more weight than I realized 138.5 (I'm 40, 5'2", female)...but I refuse to get discouraged because I'm on the right path now.

I actually started today.

1. Start each meal with a soup and/or salad and/or fruit. YES. I had oatmeal with about 1/4 cup of frozen berries and a similar size bowl of steamed broccoli, cauliflower and carrots. I've been eating veg for breakfast for a while and I'm a huge fan.

I'm going to go grocery shopping to make a big batch of soup this weekend because I really like soup and I didn't do this the previous time. I like salad also (really, any veg I'm a fan of) so today I will be eating salad instead of soup.

2. Follow the 50/50 plate method for your meals, filling half your plate (by visual volume) with non-starchy vegetables and 50% (by visual volume) with minimally processed starches.
I don't think I did a great job 50/50 last time I did this but I was still successful, I think it was more 75 veg/25 starch after I'm going to give the 50/50 a shot.

3. Greatly reduce or eliminate added sugars and added salts. This includes gourmet sugars and salts, too.
I think my biggest issue will be salt. But today I'm going to see how it feels skipping salt.

4. Eliminate all animal foods (dairy, meat, eggs, fish, seafood).
YES, no problem.

5. Eliminate all higher fat plant foods (i.e., nuts, seeds, avocados,)
Once I start I can't stop, so this is a big no for me.

6. Eliminate any added oil.
YES. easy.

7. Eliminate all higher calorie-dense foods including flour products (i.e., bread, bagels, muffins, crackers, dry cereals, cookies, cakes), puffed cereals, air-popped popcorn and dried fruit.
Once I start I can't stop, so this is a big no for me.

8. Don't drink your calories (especially from juices & sugar-sweetened beverages).
Is a little unsweet almond milk okay? I'll probably just stay away from it to be safe.

9. Follow these principles, eating whenever you are hungry until you are comfortably full. Don't starve yourself and don't stuff yourself.
This will be a challenge, but I'm up for it. I'm going to work hard to focus when I eat and how I feel to determine when I'm done, even if food remains on my plate. gasp. Lately I'm tired of feeling bloated from eating too much. Even healthy food you can overdue.

10. Avoid being sedentary and aim for at least 30 minutes or more of moderate exercise daily.
Went for a mile jog this morning, did a full body HIIT exercise from KI BBG Week 2&4 and did about 10 minutes of yoga to stretch it all out.

[VivianS]

VivianS October 4, 2020
Dear MandyBee,
I wanted to pass on to you some advice I was given when my daddy died. I was with him in the hospital. He was having a massive heart attack. He was vomiting and clenched his teeth due to the pain. I was trying to get his dentures out of his mouth so he wouldn't choke. I couldn't. In those horrible moments, I wrongly thought his death was my fault.
My friend had experienced the helplessness of being with her son who died in her arms with asthma. She told me, "Take your eyes off that terrible scene and place them instead on what God was doing and is doing. See your Daddy in heaven. He is no longer in pain. Realize that your daddy doesn't have to go through a long, painful recovery. He is now enjoying a perfect body like Christ's. Look in amazement at what God has done and is doing for you and through you."
MandyBee, our minds want to fill in the gaps in our knowledge. We try to make sense of what is impossible to understand. Taking our eyes off things that are painful - to look at the truth requires some work. You must keep telling yourself the truth. You will realize more as the years go by, but resting in God's goodness and his mercy is the place of healing.
I am an old woman. I have been through many deaths. We must choose life. You are doing that. I commend you. You may be able to help your sister and nieces when they wrestle with the death of their loved ones or if they continue to struggle with the death of your brother in law...of course, they do. I still miss Daddy and think of him often every day, but now the thoughts are sweet. The truth sets us free. Life and death are in God's hands. The Lord gives. The Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
You believe in keeping your good food with you to avoid the wrong foods that hurt you. I do, too. You must likewise take control of your thoughts. I wrote the truths on a single piece of card stock as they occurred to me. Doing that will allow you to keep the truth in front of you and protect you from lies that hurt you. Examine your thoughts and the things that others say. If the words disagree with the Bible, discard them the same way you refuse food that hurts you.
I am praying for you and your family. I am sure that others you know have been praying for you a long time before I ever heard of you. You are doing well and I feel certain that you will continue to do well. May God bless you and help you to keep your eyes on the truth.
VivianS

[VivianS]

VivianS October 4, 2020
Dear MandyBee,
I wanted to pass on to you some advice I was given when my daddy died. I was with him in the hospital. He was having a massive heart attack. He was vomiting and clenched his teeth due to the pain. I was trying to get his dentures out of his mouth so he wouldn't choke. I couldn't. In those horrible moments, I wrongly thought his death was my fault.
My friend had experienced the helplessness of being with her son who died in her arms with asthma. She told me, "Take your eyes off that terrible scene and place them instead on what God was doing and is doing. See your Daddy in heaven. He is no longer in pain. Realize that your daddy doesn't have to go through a long, painful recovery. He is now enjoying a perfect body like Christ's. Look in amazement at what God has done and is doing for you and through you."
MandyBee, our minds want to fill in the gaps in our knowledge. We try to make sense of what is impossible to understand. Taking our eyes off things that are painful - to look at the truth requires some work. You must keep telling yourself the truth. You will realize more as the years go by, but resting in God's goodness and his mercy is the place of healing.
I am an old woman. I have been through many deaths. We must choose life. You are doing that. I commend you. You may be able to help your sister and nieces when they wrestle with the death of their loved ones or if they continue to struggle with the death of your brother in law...of course, they do. I still miss Daddy and think of him often every day, but now the thoughts are sweet. The truth sets us free. Life and death are in God's hands. The Lord gives. The Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
You believe in keeping your good food with you to avoid the wrong foods that hurt you. I do, too. You must likewise take control of your thoughts. I wrote the truths on a single piece of card stock as they occurred to me. Doing that will allow you to keep the truth in front of you and protect you from lies that hurt you. Examine your thoughts and the things that others say. If the words disagree with the Bible, discard them the same way you refuse food that hurts you.
I am praying for you and your family. I am sure that others you know have been praying for you a long time before I ever heard of you. You are doing well and I feel certain that you will continue to do well. May God bless you and help you to keep your eyes on the truth.
VivianS

[mandybee]

VivianS and kirstykay -- thank you so much for your heartfelt words. It means the world to me, you have no idea. I really appreciate your uplifting me, your encouragement and your support.

[mandybee]

I had a great weekend staying on track...I plan to journal every day but I already know the weekends are going to be difficult because I really like to unplug from technology on the weekends when Monday-Friday I am plugged in all day.

Saturday

1. Start each meal with a soup and/or salad and/or fruit.
Yes; I did go grocery shopping to make a big batch of soup, but didn't make it until Sunday so Saturday was a salad kinda day.

2. Follow the 50/50 plate method for your meals, filling half your plate (by visual volume) with non-starchy vegetables and 50% (by visual volume) with minimally processed starches.
Yes; I'm loving the 50/50 plate.

3. Greatly reduce or eliminate added sugars and added salts. This includes gourmet sugars and salts, too.
Yes; no problems.

4. Eliminate all animal foods (dairy, meat, eggs, fish, seafood).
YES, no problem.

5. Eliminate all higher fat plant foods (i.e., nuts, seeds, avocados,)
Yes.

6. Eliminate any added oil.
YES. easy.

7. Eliminate all higher calorie-dense foods including flour products (i.e., bread, bagels, muffins, crackers, dry cereals, cookies, cakes), puffed cereals, air-popped popcorn and dried fruit.
Yes.

8. Don't drink your calories (especially from juices & sugar-sweetened beverages).
Yes.

9. Follow these principles, eating whenever you are hungry until you are comfortably full. Don't starve yourself and don't stuff yourself.
I did great with this today. Sometimes it's a struggle.

10. Avoid being sedentary and aim for at least 30 minutes or more of moderate exercise daily.
Went for a 3 mile jog, did 15 minutes of yoga, picked up my husband for a 4 mile walk and we did 15 minutes of yoga together.

Feeling great. So glad I'm getting back on track.

SUNDAY

1. Start each meal with a soup and/or salad and/or fruit.
Yes; I made a huge batch of soup. I am so going to love soup before a meal.

2. Follow the 50/50 plate method for your meals, filling half your plate (by visual volume) with non-starchy vegetables and 50% (by visual volume) with minimally processed starches.
Yes; I'm loving the 50/50 plate.

3. Greatly reduce or eliminate added sugars and added salts. This includes gourmet sugars and salts, too.
Yes; no problems.

4. Eliminate all animal foods (dairy, meat, eggs, fish, seafood).
YES, no problem.

5. Eliminate all higher fat plant foods (i.e., nuts, seeds, avocados,)
Yes.

6. Eliminate any added oil.
YES. easy.

7. Eliminate all higher calorie-dense foods including flour products (i.e., bread, bagels, muffins, crackers, dry cereals, cookies, cakes), puffed cereals, air-popped popcorn and dried fruit.
Once I start I can't stop, so this is a big no for me.

8. Don't drink your calories (especially from juices & sugar-sweetened beverages).
I had a some cocoa made with cocoa powder, unsweet almond milk and date syrup. It was a dreary kinda day and it was a small treat, but I didn't think anything crazy.

9. Follow these principles, eating whenever you are hungry until you are comfortably full. Don't starve yourself and don't stuff yourself.
I did great with this today.

10. Avoid being sedentary and aim for at least 30 minutes or more of moderate exercise daily.
Went for a 4 mile walk even though it looked like it was going to storm any minute. We got lucky Super active day, did a ton of food prep and cleaned. I didn't sit for over 6 hours.

Overall thoughts on the weekend: I'm proud of myself. I sometimes struggle on the weekend, almost too much free time or too much time home I can get into trouble in the pantry. The weather was rainy all day and I was not going to let that deter my exercise check off. It was going to be turned to inside exercise if necessary. I really love being outside and was glad I really pushed for that walk and got it in.

[mandybee]

Monday

1. Start each meal with a soup and/or salad and/or fruit.
Yes; today is really my first day using soup before heating my meal. I made it yesterday and had a bowl for dinner because I wasn't too hungry and it smelled too good to pass up. I couldn't even get through half of my lunch today. So wow, that is effective (and a first) and something I will make a point to keep up with each week. I like salad, sure, but MAN soup is hitting the spot.

2. Follow the 50/50 plate method for your meals, filling half your plate (by visual volume) with non-starchy vegetables and 50% (by visual volume) with minimally processed starches.
Yes; I'm loving the 50/50 plate.

3. Greatly reduce or eliminate added sugars and added salts. This includes gourmet sugars and salts, too.
Yes; no problems.

4. Eliminate all animal foods (dairy, meat, eggs, fish, seafood).
YES, no problem.

5. Eliminate all higher fat plant foods (i.e., nuts, seeds, avocados,)
Yes.

6. Eliminate any added oil.
YES. easy.

7. Eliminate all higher calorie-dense foods including flour products (i.e., bread, bagels, muffins, crackers, dry cereals, cookies, cakes), puffed cereals, air-popped popcorn and dried fruit.
Yes. All of these goods are gateway foods for me, I'm glad to eliminate them.

8. Don't drink your calories (especially from juices & sugar-sweetened beverages).
Yes.

9. Follow these principles, eating whenever you are hungry until you are comfortably full. Don't starve yourself and don't stuff yourself.
I did great with this today. Sometimes it's a struggle. I think the soup is going to be a fantastic tool to help me on this.

10. Avoid being sedentary and aim for at least 30 minutes or more of moderate exercise daily.
Went for a 1 mile warm up jog, did 30 minutes of HIIT (Week 3 KI legs) and only about 5 minutes of yoga to stretch it all out. Hope to pick up my husband for a 2-4 mile walk after dinner.

I feel really good. I normally feel like I'm starving by 11:15 a.m. but not today. I looked at the clock because my stomach rumbled and couldn't believe it was 12:30!

[mandybee]

Tuesday 10/6/2020

1. Start each meal with a soup and/or salad and/or fruit.
Yes; today I even had a little cup of soup before I ate my 1/2 cup of oatmeal cooked with water and steamed veg.

2. Follow the 50/50 plate method for your meals, filling half your plate (by visual volume) with non-starchy vegetables and 50% (by visual volume) with minimally processed starches.
Yes; I'm loving the 50/50 plate. I don't think I did this exactly before but it's really filling and working out well. I like I don't have to measure, I can just eyeball.

3. Greatly reduce or eliminate added sugars and added salts. This includes gourmet sugars and salts, too.
Yes; no problem.

4. Eliminate all animal foods (dairy, meat, eggs, fish, seafood).
Yes; no problem.

5. Eliminate all higher fat plant foods (i.e., nuts, seeds, avocados,)
Yes.

6. Eliminate any added oil.
Yes; no problem.

7. Eliminate all higher calorie-dense foods including flour products (i.e., bread, bagels, muffins, crackers, dry cereals, cookies, cakes), puffed cereals, air-popped popcorn and dried fruit.
Yes. All of these goods are gateway foods for me, I'm glad to eliminate them because it resolves a lot of issues for me.

8. Don't drink your calories (especially from juices & sugar-sweetened beverages).
Yes.

9. Follow these principles, eating whenever you are hungry until you are comfortably full. Don't starve yourself and don't stuff yourself.
I'm working on this, the struggle is real.

10. Avoid being sedentary and aim for at least 30 minutes or more of moderate exercise daily.
Went for a 3 mile sprint/walk, then cooled down with 1 mile walk, and then about 15 minutes of yoga to stretch it all out. My lower back feels tight. I hope to get in a 2-4 mile walk after dinner with the hubs. Yesterday we did 2 miles. The weather is changing here and I think the barometric pressure was making us not feel too great. I was in bed by like 8:15 which is unusual for me.

I feel a little tired today. Not too much energy. I say that but I just had a serious workout so maybe I'm tired from that.

I weighed myself because I was just curious right when I woke up. I started out on Friday at 138.5 lbs and this morning I'm 134 lbs. I know the first week most people lose a decent amount of weight and I can't expect that sort of loss week after week, but I felt excited to get a good jump on the weight loss. I weighed about 5 lbs more than I thought I did for my initial weigh in, so maybe I'm just getting out some extra water and now I'm at the actual weight I thought I was. Regardless, I feel better. Glad to be using this 10 point checklist...It's keeping me honest. I'm pretty sure I will always keep up with my journal and making sure I'm adhering to 10 points a habit. I'm finding it very helpful. 2 things most helpful so far (since most of those are fairly easy for me): 50/50 plate and soup/salad before a meal.

[VivianS]

VivianS October 6, 2020
Congratulations on a great start, Mandybee!

[mandybee]

Wednesday 10/7/2020

1. Start each meal with a soup and/or salad and/or fruit.
Yes; today I even had a little cup of soup before I ate my 1/2 cup of oatmeal cooked with water, a little aqua faba and steamed veg.

2. Follow the 50/50 plate method for your meals, filling half your plate (by visual volume) with non-starchy vegetables and 50% (by visual volume) with minimally processed starches.
Yes; I'm loving the 50/50 plate. I don't think I did this exactly before but it's really filling and working out well. I like I don't have to measure, I can just eyeball.

3. Greatly reduce or eliminate added sugars and added salts. This includes gourmet sugars and salts, too.
Yes; no problem.

4. Eliminate all animal foods (dairy, meat, eggs, fish, seafood).
Yes; no problem.

5. Eliminate all higher fat plant foods (i.e., nuts, seeds, avocados,)
Yes.

6. Eliminate any added oil.
Yes; no problem.

7. Eliminate all higher calorie-dense foods including flour products (i.e., bread, bagels, muffins, crackers, dry cereals, cookies, cakes), puffed cereals, air-popped popcorn and dried fruit.
Yes. All of these goods are gateway foods for me, I'm glad to eliminate them because it resolves a lot of issues for me.

8. Don't drink your calories (especially from juices & sugar-sweetened beverages).
Yes.

9. Follow these principles, eating whenever you are hungry until you are comfortably full. Don't starve yourself and don't stuff yourself.
I'm working on this, the struggle is real. Today I have back to back meetings and 2 deadlines to meet so I feel like I ate ahead so I wouldn't feel hungry and need to eat in a meeting or while trying to get some work out the door. Most days are not like this and I can eat a snack when or if necessary.

10. Avoid being sedentary and aim for at least 30 minutes or more of moderate exercise daily.
Went for a 1 mile jog to warm up, did week 3 of KI arms and abs. It went great. My heart rate monitor said I burned about 500 calories which is great. I hope to get in a 2-4 mile walk after dinner with the hubs. Yesterday we did 4 miles.

I feel pretty good today all things considered. I was dreading today because I knew it would be nuts but it's going okay all things considered. I'm taking off some time from work, Thursday-Monday, just doing a little staycation. We never took the trip planned for my 40th b-day back in April and then normally we take a week off in the summer, only I guess we thought things would be back to normal soon. Then we had a wedding this month and thought, we'll save the time off for then only now things still aren't great and I'd prefer not to fly. So we are hanging around the house. I hope that means I'll get in lots of relaxing, more walks and activity and easier to stay on task not feeling stressed out from work.

Gearing up for the big weigh in Friday!!

[bunsofaluminum]

Looks like you're doing terrific! Keep up the good work. I like how you're making notes within each category of the MWL guidelines. Great idea!

[mandybee]

Thursday 10/8/2020

1. Start each meal with a soup and/or salad and/or fruit.
Yes; even soup for breakfast, I love it! Today I had a cup of soup before I ate my 1/2 cup of oatmeal cooked with water, a little aqua faba and steamed veg.

2. Follow the 50/50 plate method for your meals, filling half your plate (by visual volume) with non-starchy vegetables and 50% (by visual volume) with minimally processed starches.
Yes; this seems to be making a huge difference for me. I feel fuller and more satisifed. I think I had been shortchanging myself on starches. GASP. I like I don't have to measure, I can just eyeball.

3. Greatly reduce or eliminate added sugars and added salts. This includes gourmet sugars and salts, too.
Yes; no problem.

4. Eliminate all animal foods (dairy, meat, eggs, fish, seafood).
Yes; no problem.

5. Eliminate all higher fat plant foods (i.e., nuts, seeds, avocados,)
Yes.

6. Eliminate any added oil.
Yes; no problem.

7. Eliminate all higher calorie-dense foods including flour products (i.e., bread, bagels, muffins, crackers, dry cereals, cookies, cakes), puffed cereals, air-popped popcorn and dried fruit.
Yes. All of these goods are gateway foods for me, I'm glad to eliminate them because it resolves a lot of issues for me.

8. Don't drink your calories (especially from juices & sugar-sweetened beverages).
Yes.

9. Follow these principles, eating whenever you are hungry until you are comfortably full. Don't starve yourself and don't stuff yourself.
Today I ate lunch really late. We were out and about on my day off and when we came home, it was on. So I ate a lot for lunch...and will probably skip dinner because it's 5:30 and I feel perfectly full still.

10. Avoid being sedentary and aim for at least 30 minutes or more of moderate exercise daily.
Went for a 1 mile walk...trying to get jazzed into jogging because I wasn't feeling it today...but my playlist did the trick. Pro tip--make a good playlist...I swear, it helps me anytime I'm feeling low energy. I jogged 3 miles and then picked up the hubs and we walked 6 miles around our neighborhood...having a fun conversation, we just kept going. All of that activity was like 700 calories...I mean, that was a lot of effort...which proves why you can't outrun a bad diet. One fast food breakfast would have undone all that hard work. But nope, I came home and chowed down on soup, steamed veg and oatmeal. Proud moment, honestly. But it replenished me perfectly and made me feel so good.

You know how you eat something, it makes you feel rotten but you eat it anyway because it tastes good going down? Pizza comes to mind for me...I don't want to do that anymore and this lifestyle really makes me feel good 24/7 and really makes me want to feel that more than eating something that does has the opposite effect and doesn't properly fuel my body for the next workout.

So today I'm feeling really grateful to be on this new path, with such loving, wonderful, supportive and encouraging people (thank you new friends!) reminding myself why I'm doing this because each day I find new things to be grateful for that make me want to stay the path.

Big weigh in tomorrow...I may have weighed myself today... SNEAK PEEK, I'm down 5 lbs !! I'm very excited about this. I've very appreciative to all of your positive comments and encouragement, they mean the world to me, thank you so much! During my time off to plan to check out my new friends journals to do the same. This experience (almost 1 week in) has been amazing, I'm a believer! I love it! Thank you all!