deweyswakms wrote:
What works for me is to set my intention for each day. No idea what I can do tomorrow, but I know what I can do today. Planning and food prep is key for me.
So off to finally roast the 2 acorn squash I have.
Keep going!! Marsha
What a great approach, Marsha! I really love this. Thanks for the idea. Setting an intention each day seems really doable and practical. Plus, it sounds uplifting...a great way to start the day instead of just letting the day "happen" to you. I'm going to try that this week!
It's been a good weekend after a difficult week. I feel so much better today and optimistic about everything. As soon as I decided to "Go all in!" I immediately rebelled and actually had a couple of binge days. I was so frustrated with myself, I could scream. WHY DO I DO THIS???... Well, after some reflection, I think I know why. I think it goes back to my long and torrid past history with yo-yo dieting and entrenched cycles of bingeing/restricting. I've never been diagnosed with BED, but it runs deep. I truly haven't had a serious binge in a like a year and a half, so I really thought it was in my past. But just the thought of being "all-in, no exceptions, no excuses" was enough to send me on a dark, downward spiral. The good news is, I stopped it before it became days, weeks, months...I consider that a huge victory. So maybe I AM getting better/healthier/stronger, after all. Yep, I choose to believe that.
That's one reason your post was so timely, Marsha, so thanks again for that! Setting a daily intention falls right in line with what I believe is my only possible approach to reaching my goals. I have such a problem with "all or nothing" thinking, that my lower brain (inner toddler) has an absolute FIT when she thinks I may be going back to ALL, and she demands some NOTHING before agreeing to go along. I have no idea if this makes any sense to anyone, but basically, I self-sabotage every time I try to get strict with my eating. Except in March, when Covid hit and the lock-downs started, I was able to be really strict, and it felt amazing, and it was great for my progress. I felt invincible (big mistake). I was motivated by a lot of fear of dying from the virus, and then I started to really turn things around, and of course, without the fear motivating me, and feeling all invincible, I got more relaxed. I decided to have a birthday celebration for my husband's birthday because no big deal, it was just one weekend, and I was invincible, right? So I'd just have that couple days and I'd jump right back into being strict. That was all it took. And then everything stalled and then discouragement set in. And then the starting and stopping and promises and the bingeing. It's all too familiar and depressing.
So here I am. The good news is that I haven't allowed this to take control of me, and I was able to turn it around before much damage was done. I decided not to join the MWL group this month, so I didn't weigh myself on Friday like normal. I needed a couple of clean days before I could face the scale again. I got some good exercising in the last couple days. I'll weigh myself tomorrow and log it here.
Here's what I do know. I am here. I am not giving up. I am ending this year in a better place than where I started it. I am going to take it one day at a time. I absolutely love the idea of setting my intention each day. That's all I can do. I am still planning to follow MWL, however, the 10-point checklist is feeling like a bit much right now. I am going to follow it as best as I can, and still shoot for a 50/50 plate, but honestly, I just need to do the best I can right now. I can do that. I know one thing I did wrong (which I tend to do often) is that I decided that I wanted to do "whatever it took" to lose the rest of my weight in the next 6 months. This is a trap from the pit of hell for me. I need to just put one step in front of the other instead of trying to decide where I'll be in x months or next year. I'm just going to do the best I can each day, give myself a lot of grace and compassion, and carry on. I WILL lose the rest of my weight and get rid of my diabetes...I just have no idea when that will happen. It doesn't matter. Today is all I have, and I can do today.
FOOD TODAY
Breakfast: Chocolate Banana Cherry Oatmeal
Lunch: Vegetable soup with Brown rice
Snack: Japanese Sweet Potato
Dinner: Mac n Cheeze with Normandy Medley vegetables
Exercise: none