I had another family dinner last night. We have a lot of those, don’t we?
![Very Happy :-D](./images/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif)
That’s good, though. I love getting together with my family. I was going to make these fabulous Brussels sprouts from a recipe in the Vegan Lunch Box, but I just procrastinated too long. Ran out of time. So I took the rest of the baba ganoush with carrot sticks and pita bread and I whipped up some tabbouleh from a mix. As usual, we had enough food to feed an army…and not a small one! One of my cousins was in town. She’s a vegetarian and very green. (one thing I don’t get is if she is so environmentally conscious, why does she still eat dairy, but whatever, we all do what we think is best) She makes the best sauted veggies. This time it was broccoli. I’m sure it had oil in it, but I didn’t care. It was so good! One of my other cousins proudly pointed out that she had made meatless ravioli (but it was full of cheese) so I thanked her and moved on. My grandmother made broccoli cornbread. I was intrigued, so I had a small piece. I’m sure she made it with eggs and oil cuz she doesn’t believe in all the crazy diet and veggie stuff. But she’s 91, so she can do whatever she wants! I think I’ve mentioned before that my aunt’s boyfriend makes an AWESOME ceasar salad. TONS of garlic, but also TONS of oil. I took some leftover salad home with me once. The next day I took it out of the fridge and it had congealed into orange goo. GAK! So I don’t eat it anymore, even though it smells SOO good. Maybe I need to think of a way to make super-garlic 3-2-1 to make my own ceasar salad. So anyway, I had sauted broccoli, cornbread, some hummus that my mom brought (from the same mix I use) and a big pile of carrot, celery and pepper strips. Oh, and fruit salad. It didn’t seem like that much food, but boy was I stuffed! And of course, we were celebreating my grandmother’s 91st birthday, so I had to have a piece of her cake. It was another pound cake with buttercream frosting. That’s pretty much the only cake we have for birthday parties, cuz it’s AWESOME! So anyway, had a small piece of cake and NO ice cream. Not too bad. I feel more in control of myself these days. I can have a little splurge without going crazy. Without going to the grocery store on the way home and buying 2 bags of potato chips and scarfing down both bags when I get home. So yay! I’m winning the battle! I’m not under food’s thumb anymore. Maybe the little finger, but I can wiggle out from under that!
I’m worried about my mom though. She’s been pretty down lately and she seems to have almost given up on McDougalling. She has family members over for dinner a lot. All of these people are big meat eaters and she feels like she has to cater to what they want. I keep telling her to cook McD meals and no one would mind, but she feels like it’s just not a proper meal without a big slab of meat on a platter. At first, she was cooking all of this unhealthy food and then just eating approved items, but more and more she adds in the unhealthy stuff at meals. She’s a grown woman and has to make her own decisions, but I’m so worried about her. She weighs much less than I do, but she’s still very overweight, and was pre-diabetic when she started McDing back in April. Plus she also has bad knees/hips/back that benefit from her being at a lower weight. Even if she stays where she is, that’s better than gaining back the weight. But I’m so worried that she will give up and gain it all back, like we all have so many times before. I don’t know how I can help her. Maybe I can’t. I’ve given her one of those pedaling machines. You know, just the pedals on a stand and you can pedal with your feet or put it on a table and pedal with our hands. She doesn’t use it. I got her that Sittercise CD, but I’m sure she hasn’t played it. I take her healthy things whenever I visit, but whenever I am there, I see lots of cheese and meat and cookies, “for the grandchildren.” Well, my nieces and nephews are plump little things who don’t NEED treats! I was an overweight child. I know where they are headed. It’s just all very worrisome.
And something else that’s really bothering me, my mom made a sweet potato casserole last night. And she didn’t McDougallize it either! Sweet potatoes are perfectly healthy and it would have been good without the milk or butter or crumb topping. I just feel like she’s sabotaging herself. But again, she has to make the choice for herself. But again all I can do is stand by and watch.
And something else that’s bothering me. People keep telling me how good I look. Yes, I’ve lost almost 50 pounds, but I still weigh almost 270 pounds! That’s not thin. How good can I really look? I look BETTER than I did of course, but not GOOD. People who don’t know me only see a severely overweight woman. Only people who knew me at over 300 pounds can tell a difference. I know I have some self-esteem issues to work on. And the more weight I lose, the better I will feel about myself. But for now, I take all compliments with a grain of salt.
Gee, pretty down way to start the week!
Here's what I ate yesterday:
B-big bowl of puffed wheat, puffed millet (!!) and shredded wheat with soy milk (I have soy milk in the fridge and alot of cereal that I want to use up)
L-hmmm...did I eat lunch? this is why I shouldn't post this stuff the next day!
D-family dinner that I mentioned above
snacks--dates, baba ganoush wiith pita
Day 18 of my 100 Day MWL Challenge: nope
Free eating: yes
Days w/o chips: 6 almost to a week!
![smile :)](./images/smilies/smile.gif)